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16-06-2011, 07:19 PM
Death.
Isn't a public funeral more or less a ritual of sorts that originated in religion? I mean, when I 'pass away' I don't care what happens, but I've seen non religious people get a 'christian' funeral with all the nonsense attached to it.
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16-06-2011, 07:25 PM
RE: Death.
Yes. But it's one that I don't mind. It gets all the dead people out of the way, fertilizes the ground, and gives grievers a place to go to mourn. I mean, religion was created to help humans deal with the idea of death anyways, might as well have it in place during the farewell process of a recently deceased, even if it's just for emotional stability and peace of mind.

Plus, I've been to a few Muslim houses in Iraq where the dead person was just laying on a table in a room for days, so that people could come visit. I'd rather do things how we have them now.

I've told my family that I want my body to be shot out of a cannon into a crowded marketplace. But since the funeral is for their benefit anyways, I don't think they're gonna go for it.

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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16-06-2011, 07:32 PM
RE: Death.
I used to say that when I died I wanted my funeral to be blasphemous, with the lights all dim and a priest at the front with a solemn look on his face, then I want him to start by saying "He was a good man, he was a nice man, he was a ... oh fuck, he was a dick and we all know where he's going... he's going to (Shouting) HELLLLLLL!!!" and I want the lights to dim, then have red lights shooting all over the place, with my casket rising from some hole in the ground with smoke coming out of it, all the while highway to hell is playing in the background. Just as my casket reaches a nice viewing angle you hear Ozzys crazy train laugh and it pops open to reveal a fake skeleton who laughs and says "now let's get wasted!" with another table rising from the floor with booze. A disco ball drops from the ceiling and party rock plays out the rest of the night, as girls with slutty demon costumes roll around on roller skates refilling everyones drinks.

Now I think I'll just get cremated and have it in my will that someone has to eat my ashes. Maybe I'll make it a bear or something just for fun.

You're right though it is steeped in religious tradition, and when non religious people die either some family member who is religious plans the funeral or they didn't know how to state that they didn't want it to be that way. It's important to make it known how you want it to go down. If mine is religious in anyway not blasphemous I WILL haunt whoever planned it because they clearly didn't know me very well, or they just want to fuck with me one last time.

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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16-06-2011, 07:51 PM
RE: Death.
(16-06-2011 07:32 PM)lucradis Wrote:  I used to say that when I died I wanted my funeral to be blasphemous, with the lights all dim and a priest at the front with a solemn look on his face, then I want him to start by saying "He was a good man, he was a nice man, he was a ... oh fuck, he was a dick and we all know where he's going... he's going to (Shouting) HELLLLLLL!!!" and I want the lights to dim, then have red lights shooting all over the place, with my casket rising from some hole in the ground with smoke coming out of it, all the while highway to hell is playing in the background. Just as my casket reaches a nice viewing angle you hear Ozzys crazy train laugh and it pops open to reveal a fake skeleton who laughs and says "now let's get wasted!" with another table rising from the floor with booze. A disco ball drops from the ceiling and party rock plays out the rest of the night, as girls with slutty demon costumes roll around on roller skates refilling everyones drinks.


That sounds incredibly similar to what I posted on my facebook a few months back. (digs through hundreds of old FB posts) Now what did I do with that damn thing?

AHA! Here it is, verbatim.






"I've decided that I want this played at my funeral, with everyone sitting there all uncomfortable. Then at 2:09, right before the epic guitar solo, someone stands up and throws a chair through the window, and everyone jumps up and start moshing out to strobe lights. Then they crowd surf my casket outside to the back of a monster truck hearse which blasts this song all the way to the graveyard, followed by limousines with people hanging out the sunroofs drinking champagne. And right before the monster truck hearse turns into the graveyard he takes a hard left and ramps the truck off a cliff into a pile of explosives. Then a stage will rise from the flames and Zakk Wylde will give the eulogy, which will just be a 34 hour rendition of the song Hellraiser."

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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16-06-2011, 11:41 PM
RE: Death.
We'd make better fertilizer if we didn't bother with all that embalming. The newer caskets and embalming methods ensure that our body does not help anything by decaying. Good old wooden caskets are more soil friendly.

As far as funeral stuff?

So far I know I want a video will to be played having me discuss why it's nothing bad, I'm not sure what the main activity will be though I only contemplate my own death occasionally. I definitely don't want a mourning funeral just not my style. I want everyone to show how happy they are I died so that when Westboro comes they can invite them on in to have some punch =p

I'm not a non believer, I believe in the possibility of anything. I just don't let the actuality of something be determined by a 3rd party.
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17-06-2011, 05:00 AM
RE: Death.
I find religious funerals very disturbing.
At my dad's funeral, there was a priest speaking nonsense about some OT quote and it's morals. Not a single word about the most important thing, what funerals should be about: the dead person itself. The whole thing was religious propaganda.
MY great grand-mother lived and died in an East-Hungarian village with about 1000 residents (a half of it was roma, so it doesn't really count). And when the whole thing was just about to start, there came 3 , hundred-years-old women, whining Ave Maria. Not like anyone invited or even knew them, but they couldn't be stopped because that would have been sooooo rude.
I haven't given much thought about my funeral, but rule one : No Fuckin' Priest!!

..."we can be truly free - not because we can rebel against the the tyranny of the selfish replicators but because we know that there is no one to rebel."
Susan Blackmore : The Meme Machine
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17-06-2011, 07:32 AM
RE: Death.
(17-06-2011 05:00 AM)TheSelfishGene Wrote:  rule one : No Fuckin' Priest!!
No worries... they aren't showing pedophilia in public Big Grin

Observer

Agnostic atheist
Secular humanist
Emotional rationalist
Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
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17-06-2011, 08:26 AM
RE: Death.
(16-06-2011 07:19 PM)Monk Wrote:  Isn't a public funeral more or less a ritual of sorts that originated in religion? I mean, when I 'pass away' I don't care what happens, but I've seen non religious people get a 'christian' funeral with all the nonsense attached to it.

hehehehe Funerals aren't for the dead... their for the living. If you die and your spouse is religious there is a good chance you will be getting a religious funeral. Not like you can complain......

“We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.” Orson Welles
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17-06-2011, 10:22 AM
RE: Death.
I either want to be cremated or have my carbon atoms condensed into a diamond. If I get to be a diamond then I can become a family heirloom!
"That is a lovely necklace. Where did you get it?"
"From my grandfather...literally."

“Science is simply common sense at its best, that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic.”
—Thomas Henry Huxley
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17-06-2011, 12:55 PM
RE: Death.
(17-06-2011 10:22 AM)TheBeardedDude Wrote:  I either want to be cremated or have my carbon atoms condensed into a diamond. If I get to be a diamond then I can become a family heirloom!
"That is a lovely necklace. Where did you get it?"
"From my grandfather...literally."

Our chemistry teacher told us that this diamond thing is just a hoax.
When your body is cremated, carbon leaves in the form of CO and CO2.
All that's left is a bunch of non organic molecules, mainly with Nitrogen. And the little carbon that's left is not in the form of graphite, from which diamond can be made.

I'm rather thinking about a tree, fertilized by my ashes, since Nitrogen is actually processed by plants. And if it happens to be a fruit tree (which it will), my children can make pálinka from it. It's a traditional Hungarian spirit, made from fruit distillate, it's better than tequila, whiskey, gin, etc. Big Grin That way they could really drink at my memory.

..."we can be truly free - not because we can rebel against the the tyranny of the selfish replicators but because we know that there is no one to rebel."
Susan Blackmore : The Meme Machine
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