Poll: Does death scare you?
Yes, I think about it all the time.
Yes, but I rarely think about it.
Yes, I believe the afterlife will be worse than this life.
No, we are all stardust we will just go back to being stardust.
No, I wasn't alive before I was born, so I'm sure it won't bother me too much when I'm dead.
No, I believe the afterlife will be better than this life.
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Death
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11-11-2015, 11:42 PM
RE: Death
(11-11-2015 11:07 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  I don't think being selfish and being appreciative are mutually exclusive. So I don't think it has to be a "rather than". I can want more life and also appreciate the life I've had. In-fact the more I've appreciated the life I've lived the more I would want more life.
It's about where the focus lies.

Are you focusing on the life you have got (from birth through to death)
or are you focusing on the life that you cannot have (life after death)

You can't have it, so why entertain thoughts about it?
Sure you enjoy life and want more. But you can't have more. "More" is a fantasy. In this circumstance your "want" is a fantasy.

Why not appreciate that which you have got rather than fantasize about that which you cannot have.

Why not think about (and appreciate) how lucky you are to live rather than pine over the time (beyond your death event) that you cannot have.

Be like having a wonderful wife at home and feeling like you are missing out on the pleasures of other fine women. How can you truly appreciate your wife if you spend your time pining over the other women (which you theoretically cannot have Angel )?
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12-11-2015, 12:31 AM
RE: Death
(11-11-2015 11:42 PM)Stevil Wrote:  Why not appreciate that which you have got rather than fantasize about that which you cannot have.

...

Simply telling oneself that isn't sufficient to necessarily change one's mind.

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12-11-2015, 01:04 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2015 01:07 AM by Adrianime.)
RE: Death
(11-11-2015 11:42 PM)Stevil Wrote:  
(11-11-2015 11:07 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  I don't think being selfish and being appreciative are mutually exclusive. So I don't think it has to be a "rather than". I can want more life and also appreciate the life I've had. In-fact the more I've appreciated the life I've lived the more I would want more life.
It's about where the focus lies.

Are you focusing on the life you have got (from birth through to death)
or are you focusing on the life that you cannot have (life after death)

You can't have it, so why entertain thoughts about it?
Sure you enjoy life and want more. But you can't have more. "More" is a fantasy. In this circumstance your "want" is a fantasy.

Why not appreciate that which you have got rather than fantasize about that which you cannot have.

Why not think about (and appreciate) how lucky you are to live rather than pine over the time (beyond your death event) that you cannot have.

Be like having a wonderful wife at home and feeling like you are missing out on the pleasures of other fine women. How can you truly appreciate your wife if you spend your time pining over the other women (which you theoretically cannot have Angel )?
I think my position is being misunderstood (and maybe I misspoke). I don't wish for eternal life or for any life after death scenario to play out. I simply fear death and see no positive twist that makes it any more inviting or acceptable. I'm not looking for an alternative.

My own death is close to the very last thing I would want to happen. I would not go quietly into the night (so to speak). When I say I would want "more life" I mean that I don't imagine myself thinking, "Well, I've had a good run, time to end this and be grateful." But instead something like, "Well this effing sucks, life is awesome and I don't want this to end."

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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12-11-2015, 01:28 AM
RE: Death
Don't worry Adrianime. I know exactly how you feel.

Sometimes it hits me that someday I will just die and stop existing. Trying to imagine what that would be like, the world without me, almost brings me to a panic attack. There's really no comfort for me in anything, I'm just actively trying not to think about it.

Since I started working with my boyfriend instead of sitting around all day, it got better. I guess if you keep your mind busy with other stuff, you never have to worry about it? Sometimes though it hits me and I might think about death every single hour of every single day and even have trouble sleeping.

As for time left, that's one thing that I'm also concerned about. When my 80 year old grandma says that "time has passed by so fast", it freaks me out. I know I'm too young to worry about not having enough time, but if at 80 I'm going to think that time passed by really fast, do I really have much time?
However I think I'd be happy to die if I got to live a healthy life and death came in my 90s.

I'm sure my thoughts aren't healthy, but I guess it has to do with my life in general right now being sucky.

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12-11-2015, 01:37 AM
RE: Death
(11-11-2015 09:18 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  I never sit around thinking "damn so little time left, this sucks." But I do think, "gosh, one day *this* will come to an end." That's the scary part. *This* being the current me existing and thinking.

In that sense, we die with every new experience, assuming it affects us enough to effect change.
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12-11-2015, 06:12 AM
RE: Death
(11-11-2015 08:18 PM)Banjo Wrote:  How can I die if at the moment I die I cease to exist?

That's pretty much the way I look at it. I will never experience death because the moment somebody else can say that I am dead there will be no "I" any more to experience anything. It was when I fully grokked that concept that being dead lost all power to cause anxiety.

That's not to say that the process of dying isn't a cause of concern or that the whole mess isn't to be avoided as long as possible. There are more things I want to experience while I can.

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12-11-2015, 09:51 AM
RE: Death
Death doesn't scare me. I once had a fainting spell where one moment I was standing, the next I was waking up on the floor. No recollection of what came inbetween. I figure death is like that inbetween moment. Cept you don't wake up. And you don't care if ya don't wake up.

Now, DYING, is a whole other story. The process of dying is going to be unpleasant no matter how you go about it. I do fear dying. I hope my inevitable demise gets me before I see it coming, but we don 't always get what we want.

Ignorance is not to be ignored.

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12-11-2015, 11:01 AM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2015 11:05 AM by Dom.)
RE: Death
There comes a time in life when you get tired. Your body gets tired, that is. In your mind you are still 30, but when you try to move the bed, you realize that your body isn't functioning the way it used to. You die very, very slowly, just by function after function becoming unavailable.

That is how you die when you get old, little by little, piece by piece. That is why old folks talk so much about their ailments - it starts to dominate your life. Your body is in decline. Ailments that didn't mean much when you were young because your body just repaired itself are now suddenly permanent or even life threatening.

Nobody much cares about old people these days, they are a burden and are sent to places where they are left to die among strangers who may or may not be friendly or compassionate.

That is a fate I will avoid at all cost. When my body starts to be unable to care for itself, rather than throw myself at the mercy of strangers, I will exit.

You think about death like it occurred all of a sudden, at your present age. Of course you don't want that, you are young and strong (yes you are strong, even if you are the weakest among your peers you are strong in the eyes of an older person). You can't see death the way a person whose body has aged will see it.

At some point it all becomes about a full life well lived and an exit that heads off impending misery. What you consider misery of course varies from person to person.

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12-11-2015, 11:39 AM
RE: Death
(12-11-2015 11:01 AM)Dom Wrote:  Nobody much cares about old people these days, they are a burden and are sent to places where they are left to die among strangers who may or may not be friendly or compassionate.
Love the positive outlook!

Hah, but really it depends on your culture and family. Many Asian cultures do multi-generational households for instance. Where at some point the parents(grandparents) come back to live with the children when they reach a certain age. Some older people might see this as giving up freedom or failure, but I think it's actually a great way to live.

If you focus on family throughout your lifetime it is probably an easier transition. Unfortunately my family has never focused on being a family so I don't think it's in the cards for us. But I hope to raise my kids in such a way that the focus on family is strong. Although I'm not certain I'd want to move in with em, but I want to raise kids who would be happy to have me. If possible.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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12-11-2015, 11:47 AM
RE: Death
(12-11-2015 11:39 AM)Adrianime Wrote:  Many Asian cultures do multi-generational households for instance. Where at some point the parents(grandparents) come back to live with the children when they reach a certain age.

Most of the world has had this or a similar practice prior to the last 100 years or so. Culture changes based on necessity. Without the safety nets that we have suddenly deemed to be essential, a culture that did not incorporate extended family units wouldn't be survivable for either the elderly or the children in need of care.

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