Poll: Does death scare you?
Yes, I think about it all the time.
Yes, but I rarely think about it.
Yes, I believe the afterlife will be worse than this life.
No, we are all stardust we will just go back to being stardust.
No, I wasn't alive before I was born, so I'm sure it won't bother me too much when I'm dead.
No, I believe the afterlife will be better than this life.
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Death
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12-11-2015, 02:26 PM
RE: Death
(12-11-2015 02:20 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote:  
(12-11-2015 01:20 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  It's so interesting that the fear of death is being swept away by so many of you. Like, "meh, whatever it's going to happen." It just seems so...un-intuitive to not be fearful of the end of your life.

Why should I be? It's not reasonable.
It is not reasonable to be afraid of your own death?

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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12-11-2015, 02:28 PM
RE: Death
(12-11-2015 02:26 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  
(12-11-2015 02:20 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote:  Why should I be? It's not reasonable.
It is not reasonable to be afraid of your own death?

No. You're letting fear control you. You're not overcoming the fear.
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12-11-2015, 02:39 PM
RE: Death
(12-11-2015 01:20 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  Aren't most fears related to our aversion to death? Obviously there is the standard "fear of my loved ones getting hurt." But a person with a fear of flying, or a fear of insects, or a fear or spiders, or a fear of the dark.

It's so interesting that the fear of death is being swept away by so many of you. Like, "meh, whatever it's going to happen." It just seems so...un-intuitive to not be fearful of the end of your life.

Could it have anything to do with once believing in hell? Since *nothingness* is better than *eternal torture* does it comfort you that it's just *nothingness*? Whereas for me nothingness is terrifying. Every ounce of me says to keep existing, no matter what.

How do you ever sleep? Lie down and slip into nothingness?

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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12-11-2015, 02:59 PM
RE: Death
(12-11-2015 01:20 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  Aren't most fears related to our aversion to death? ...
There is a rational fear of death. Where you don't walk on the edge of a cliff or you don't touch electrical wires because you see the risk of death as being too high, so you take action and avoid doing those things.
Then there are irrational fears, like the fear of public speaking, fear of meeting strangers (if you are shy), fear of eating unfamiliar foods, etc these have nothing to do with death. No real tangible consequence, just irrational fear.
It seems to me that perhaps you have an irrational (IMO) fear of death. Not bound to a specific situation e.g. fear telling you to avoid getting too close the the cliff's edge, but instead merely an ongoing fear of inevitable death.
(12-11-2015 01:20 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  It's so interesting that the fear of death is being swept away by so many of you. Like, "meh, whatever it's going to happen." It just seems so...un-intuitive to not be fearful of the end of your life.
We can't avoid death. It seems to me to be irrational to worry about it.
(12-11-2015 01:20 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  Could it have anything to do with once believing in hell? Since *nothingness* is better than *eternal torture* does it comfort you that it's just *nothingness*?
I've never been a believer.
(12-11-2015 01:20 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  Whereas for me nothingness is terrifying.
How can nothingness be scary? You won't have a consciousness, no time, no self. When you are dead, you won't even know it.

It's the transition that is the part to potentially be scared of. Many people are scared to go to the doctor because they don't want to spend the rest of their lives knowing that they are going to die soon. Some people are scared to fly in planes possibly because they don't want to spend a minute or to in a dive knowing that they are going to die. So impending death can be scary. It may also be a fear of not being in control. When you have terminal illness or are in a death dive you have little control. I feel this is why some people own guns, they want to feel like they have some control in a situation. They potentially want to go out on their own shield rather be in a situation of absolute hopelessness.
So there is a fear on knowing about your impending (soon to be) death. There is the fear of not having control. And perhaps there is fear of the method of death, will it be painful and horrific, will it be peaceful in your sleep?
But death itself is nothingness, and you won't even know it. Nothingness is not to be feared. Not a rational fear.
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12-11-2015, 03:01 PM
RE: Death
(12-11-2015 02:28 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote:  
(12-11-2015 02:26 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  It is not reasonable to be afraid of your own death?

No. You're letting fear control you. You're not overcoming the fear.
And you are focussing on the wrong thing. Appreciate life, don't waste life thinking about death. Trust assured death will take care of itself, it's not something you have to put effort towards.
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12-11-2015, 03:05 PM
RE: Death
I voted #2 (Yes, but I rarely think about it), but it's a bit more complicated than that.

When I first realized (in a visceral rather than intellectual way) that I was going to die someday (this happened in my late teens), it terrified me. For a few nights, I couldn't even sleep. But somehow, over the years, I've gotten to where the prospect of non-existence doesn't scare me at all. However, the transition (the actual process of dying) scares me quite a bit. My entire immediate family (mother, father, and both brothers) have all died of cancer over the last few years, and that seems like a terrible way to die. I would much rather get hit by a truck or a lightning bolt and never know what hit me.

I do have a whole bunch of things I would still like to do in my life, and there is no way I will live long enough to do them all -- and some of them I'm no longer physically capable of doing anyway. That prospect saddens and depresses me if I think about it too much, but that's a different thing than fear. The only thing I fear about death is the process, not the result. Once I'm dead, I will neither know nor care.

I find that the best thing is to keep busy. All the "deaths in the family" have motivated me to stop wasting so much of time -- to get off my ass and do some of those things I've always wanted to do, before it's too late. So in a way, the fear of death can be a good thing. If we knew we would live forever, would we be motivated to do anything at all? I'm not sure we would. I still have to mentally kick myself just to get out of bed in the morning, or to start on any projects. But I always enjoy the hell out of the projects once I get going on them. And while I'm absorbed in doing things, I forget all about death for a while.
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12-11-2015, 03:55 PM
RE: Death
(12-11-2015 02:28 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote:  
(12-11-2015 02:26 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  It is not reasonable to be afraid of your own death?

No. You're letting fear control you. You're not overcoming the fear.
Here's a question. Does the concept of one day possibly having dementia and not being able to remember who the people you currently care about are scare you at all (that is, the thought of yourself being in that state)?

If so, when you are in that state you might not be aware that you are missing any memories at all. The way I see it is...just because when you are in that state you aren't aware of the negative affects that make you want to *not* be in that state..doesn't mean your current self (who is not in that state) has no reason to be afraid of being in that state.

My fear of death is similar (although, much worse as I think dementia is much better than death). I know while I am in that state I won't be aware of it (or of anything). But I fear being in that state because that means what I have now (life) will be over. I fear not "having" life.

That being said, like I've said before it's not like I sit around and think about this or even get sad over it. There is no point in dwelling on something that is inevitable. But even though I don't actively let it worry me, that doesn't mean the concept of my death doesn't scare me.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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12-11-2015, 04:10 PM (This post was last modified: 12-11-2015 04:29 PM by Adrianime.)
RE: Death
(12-11-2015 02:59 PM)Stevil Wrote:  
(12-11-2015 01:20 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  Aren't most fears related to our aversion to death? ...
There is a rational fear of death. Where you don't walk on the edge of a cliff or you don't touch electrical wires because you see the risk of death as being too high, so you take action and avoid doing those things.
Then there are irrational fears, like the fear of public speaking, fear of meeting strangers (if you are shy), fear of eating unfamiliar foods, etc these have nothing to do with death. No real tangible consequence, just irrational fear.
It seems to me that perhaps you have an irrational (IMO) fear of death. Not bound to a specific situation e.g. fear telling you to avoid getting too close the the cliff's edge, but instead merely an ongoing fear of inevitable death.
Hmm, not quite. I don't think about death 99.9% of the time. But when I do, as cjlr succinctly put it, the thought that comes to mind is, "eff no." With a little bit of "ahhhhhh, not being able to think or do anything again, what a sucky and terrifying reality." But that is usually followed by a, "well it's not really worth worrying about so I will do something else."
Quote:We can't avoid death. It seems to me to be irrational to worry about it.
That I agree with. Unless you are in a situation where you are in mortal danger that is.
Quote:
(12-11-2015 01:20 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  Whereas for me nothingness is terrifying.
How can nothingness be scary? You won't have a consciousness, no time, no self. When you are dead, you won't even know it.
Exactly. Not having those things is what scares me. I'm fully aware of the fact that when I am in that state I will have no awareness. But losing those things that make me a living creature is a scary and uncomfortable thought.

Quote:It's the transition that is the part to potentially be scared of.
That I somewhat disagree with. I'm not worried about the discomfort or pain that will come from the process of dying. That still is part of living and will be what it is. If I was stabbed in the streets and felt my life leaving me as I bled out I wouldn't be obsessing over the pain. I would be wishing I could have more. I don't want to never hold her again. Or laugh with him again. I don't want to never smile again. No, I don't want it to be over.

Quote:But death itself is nothingness, and you won't even know it. Nothingness is not to be feared. Not a rational fear.
I mean, it's like..... Would you be afraid to fall asleep tonight if you knew you would never wake up? If not..you just have an entirely different mindset than me I guess.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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12-11-2015, 04:12 PM
RE: Death
(12-11-2015 03:55 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  My fear of death is similar (although, much worse as I think dementia is much better than death).
I'd prefer death than to have such a confused and pointless life. I'd also be a burden on my loved ones. Better to die and let them move on.
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12-11-2015, 04:13 PM
RE: Death
Dom Wrote:How do you ever sleep? Lie down and slip into nothingness?
I'm sorry I don't get what you are trying to ask.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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