Poll: Preferred Apocalyptic Breakfast Cereal
Corn Flakes - Because you prefer your apocalypse to play out much like your life did, as bland and flavorless as possible.
Grape-Nuts - Because 'death by giant grape nuts' is the perfect exclamation point to the end of this cosmic shitstorm we call existence.
Captain Crunch - Because the double entendre of the Captain going down with the ship is too good to pass up, apocalypse be damned.
Oatmeal - Because fuck the system, I do what I want.
Wheaties - Because you want enjoy the apocalypse the same way you enjoyed breakfast, like a champion; while also wearing those expensive jogging shoes you never actually went jogging in.
Go Lean CRUNCH! - Because of course all of your non-GMO, yoga pants wearing, hippy bullshit, would in fact be the vanguard of the world's destruction.
Lucky Charms - Because you're not sure which is worse, the exploitation of the mascot's racial caricature, or potentially being even more racist by not picking it.
Tasty Wheat - Because those faux anarchist Oatmeal eating motherfuckers are a bunch of Hot-Topic wearing posers.
Cinnamon LIFE - Because you ate this your whole life, and only now does it dawn on you the supreme irony of being done in by a food with a Quaker on the box.
KIX - Because 'kid tested, mother approved' was marketing bullshit, and making the apocalypse tangentially approved by everyone else's mom sorta balances the books on the matter.
Other - Because you thrive on being unorthodox, contrarian, and rebelling against authority. Or I cannot be arsed to write a dozen of these damn things.
[Show Results]
Note: This is a public poll, other users will be able to see what you voted for.
Death by Breakfast Cereal
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10-07-2017, 05:38 AM
RE: Death by Breakfast Cereal
And it better be in whole milk because Censored skim Rainbow Vomit

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10-07-2017, 05:58 AM
RE: Death by Breakfast Cereal
[Image: its-sugar-colon-blow-cereal-box.jpg]

Atheism: it's not just for communists any more!
America July 4 1776 - November 8 2016 RIP
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10-07-2017, 07:11 AM
RE: Death by Breakfast Cereal
Save yourselves!
Breakfast on bacon, eggs, sausages and black pudding to thwart gods plans.
The obese with clogged arteries will inherit the Earth.
Act now before it is too late.

What do you mean Life is short. It's the longest thing you're going to do.
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10-07-2017, 07:12 AM
RE: Death by Breakfast Cereal
Bob's Red Mill Organic Buckwheat Cereal with strawberries and raw cashew nut butter thrown in.

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And I also need a Venti almond milk latte from Starbucks or else shit gonna get real Wink
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10-07-2017, 07:27 AM
RE: Death by Breakfast Cereal
(10-07-2017 05:58 AM)unfogged Wrote:  [Image: its-sugar-colon-blow-cereal-box.jpg]

> Is that from Saturday Night Live?
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10-07-2017, 07:33 AM
RE: Death by Breakfast Cereal
(10-07-2017 07:27 AM)Gwaithmir Wrote:  
(10-07-2017 05:58 AM)unfogged Wrote:  [Image: its-sugar-colon-blow-cereal-box.jpg]

> Is that from Saturday Night Live?

Yep

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10-07-2017, 08:00 AM
RE: Death by Breakfast Cereal
I don't die by cereal, for I am the cereal killer.
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10-07-2017, 08:16 AM
RE: Death by Breakfast Cereal
The only recognise from the list is Cornflakes, though I think oatmeal might be porridge. The rest look like American brand names that are not used in the UK though the product might exist with a different name.

I go for muesli with no added sugar, or buttered toast (with or without marmalade).

“I am not responsible for actions of the imaginary version of me you have inside your head.” - John Scalzi

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10-07-2017, 08:28 AM
RE: Death by Breakfast Cereal
Any cereal based on cookies or cinnamon buns or whatever captain crunch is supposed to be mimicking is pretty gross, but cereal containing marshmallows is just plain inexcusable. I can feel my face fixing into an expression of disgust just thinking about eating marshmallows in my already sweet cereal.
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10-07-2017, 08:30 AM
RE: Death by Breakfast Cereal
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"If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are." - Captain Picard
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