Decided to come out: Access denied
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03-10-2013, 11:04 PM
Decided to come out: Access denied
Just wanted to vent: I just told the mother of my child (month old) that I'm atheist. I've only been atheist for about 7 months. I've been debating telling her since we found out of the pregnancy( didn't find out until almost 5 months in) I finally decided that If not now, then when?
So simply, her response was not surprising as her family that I've been close to for the past three years is heavy into religion. She basically said that her and I wouldn't be able to work out because this was a big deal to her. She was nice about it, she didn't say I can't be involved in my daughters life or anything. We talked and I told her why I stopped believing, I told her that she has to accept that I will burn in hell forever and that her daughter will be taught that as well ( she exclaimed that her daughter will be raised in the church and that she's being dedicated to god next month) I told her if she really loved me we could work past this, but she denied that offer.
It saddens me. I believe my daughter deserves to have loving parents who also have each other. Her and I have been fine, but this one thing is enough for her to throw it all away.

I HATE RELIGION. Life is too short to have nonsense like this happen.

Thanks for reading ( I attached a photo of my beautiful perfect little girl)
- Storm


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03-10-2013, 11:06 PM
RE: Decided to come out: Access denied
(03-10-2013 11:04 PM)stormbobcat Wrote:  Just wanted to vent: I just told the mother of my child (month old) that I'm atheist. I've only been atheist for about 7 months. I've been debating telling her since we found out of the pregnancy( didn't find out until almost 5 months in) I finally decided that If not now, then when?
So simply, her response was not surprising as her family that I've been close to for the past three years is heavy into religion. She basically said that her and I wouldn't be able to work out because this was a big deal to her. She was nice about it, she didn't say I can't be involved in my daughters life or anything. We talked and I told her why I stopped believing, I told her that she has to accept that I will burn in hell forever and that her daughter will be taught that as well ( she exclaimed that her daughter will be raised in the church and that she's being dedicated to god next month) I told her if she really loved me we could work past this, but she denied that offer.
It saddens me. I believe my daughter deserves to have loving parents who also have each other. Her and I have been fine, but this one thing is enough for her to throw it all away.

I HATE RELIGION. Life is too short to have nonsense like this happen.

Thanks for reading ( I attached a photo of my beautiful perfect little girl)
- Storm


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03-10-2013, 11:10 PM
RE: Decided to come out: Access denied
I really am lost for words, sir.

You have my sympathy.

I guess this demonstrates that men and women where you live do not have equal rights as she has made the immediate assumption that if you two separate, then she will have custody.

You could challenge that in court of course but I think she will win because you have changed your mind (about god(s)) but she hasn't so she sees it as a breach of a verbal contract.

I don't know what to suggest... I hope others here can help.

Hug

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03-10-2013, 11:20 PM
RE: Decided to come out: Access denied
You shouldn't have to lose your family just because you changed your mind about religion. I am so sorry. I hope this isn't the final word. Sad

I AM he who is called... cat furniture.
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03-10-2013, 11:21 PM
RE: Decided to come out: Access denied
(03-10-2013 11:10 PM)DLJ Wrote:  I really am lost for words, sir.

You have my sympathy.

I guess this demonstrates that men and women where you live do not have equal rights as she has made the immediate assumption that if you two separate, then she will have custody.

You could challenge that in court of course but I think she will win because you have changed your mind (about god(s)) but she hasn't so she sees it as a breach of a verbal contract.

I don't know what to suggest... I hope others here can help.

Hug

Well she hasn't tried to claim sole custody, she just wants to end our relationship. She can't accept me for who I am based on this one thing, although we lived together for two years(she's with her mom 3 hrs away/ I have two semesters left in college)

She did say though that "I won't keep you from being in her life" which kinda irritated me. If she dared to keep me away from my daughter bc of this Id have her ass in court so fast haha.
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03-10-2013, 11:22 PM
RE: Decided to come out: Access denied
thank you for your sympathy btw.
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03-10-2013, 11:24 PM
RE: Decided to come out: Access denied
(03-10-2013 11:20 PM)I Am Wrote:  You shouldn't have to lose your family just because you changed your mind about religion. I am so sorry. I hope this isn't the final word. Sad

Yea :/ it seems to be the final word. She knows everything about me, she knows im a good person. She just can't be with someone who doesn't share in her faith.
Breaks my heart I tell ya..
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03-10-2013, 11:37 PM
RE: Decided to come out: Access denied
(03-10-2013 11:21 PM)stormbobcat Wrote:  
(03-10-2013 11:10 PM)DLJ Wrote:  I really am lost for words, sir.

You have my sympathy.

I guess this demonstrates that men and women where you live do not have equal rights as she has made the immediate assumption that if you two separate, then she will have custody.

You could challenge that in court of course but I think she will win because you have changed your mind (about god(s)) but she hasn't so she sees it as a breach of a verbal contract.

I don't know what to suggest... I hope others here can help.

Hug

Well she hasn't tried to claim sole custody, she just wants to end our relationship. She can't accept me for who I am based on this one thing, although we lived together for two years(she's with her mom 3 hrs away/ I have two semesters left in college)

She did say though that "I won't keep you from being in her life" which kinda irritated me. If she dared to keep me away from my daughter bc of this Id have her ass in court so fast haha.

You aren't going to like hearing this, but "possession is 9/10 of the law" is not just a saying when it comes to custody. If the child lives at her place and you are not there, she has complete control over whether you will get any custody at all if there is a custody dispute.
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03-10-2013, 11:40 PM
RE: Decided to come out: Access denied
Sorry man Sad
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04-10-2013, 04:30 AM
RE: Decided to come out: Access denied
I think for now, the best you can do, is what gives you the most access to your child. Not that you asked, but my suggestion is to lay off the atheist anything for a while. It is far less important to your child that you try to convert mom than you being in her life. If being in her life is really important, do it.

Remember, your ex is scared as hell right now, new baby, father in school, family doesn't approve, and then, father of the baby drops another bomb on her. This is another bit of shame for her family to beat her over the head with. Weather or not they are.

I am not trying to lessen her blame in this, I am trying to make you realize, she is someone who probably still loves you. She is scared. Be there for her, and your child.
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