Deep Scars
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14-02-2017, 07:40 AM
RE: Deep Scars
For me a big one is the idea of your thoughts always being monitored and under scrutiny by God. You can never be alone, not even in your own head. While I'm recovering well from religion, I still feel guilty, anxious and like a bad person whenever I have some stray thought that isn't perfect.

"I believe that while not all people are essentially good, most are trying" - Adam Savage
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14-02-2017, 07:40 AM
RE: Deep Scars
I've left the fears behind me... but there's... I have this deep and abiding irritation with all things woo. I kinda would prefer to let it go - I'd prefer if instead of debating the merits of whichever fucking Middle-Eastern goat-fucking philosophy we were instead reaching for the stars - but as long as the goat fuckers control politics I guess I'll be condemned to having goat-fucking conversations.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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14-02-2017, 07:41 AM
RE: Deep Scars
(14-02-2017 07:40 AM)LadyDay Wrote:  For me a big one is the idea of your thoughts always being monitored and under scrutiny by God. You can never be alone, not even in your own head. While I'm recovering well from religion, I still feel guilty, anxious and like a bad person whenever I have some stray thought that isn't perfect.

Hug I routinely wish evil upon people who piss me off these days... You should try it Thumbsup

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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14-02-2017, 07:45 AM
RE: Deep Scars
(14-02-2017 07:41 AM)morondog Wrote:  Hug I routinely wish evil upon people who piss me off these days... You should try it Thumbsup

Evil be upon all those people who fuck goats! Evil_monster

I'm starting to learn to allow myself to mildly annoyed. Mostly at people who insist on blocking sidewalks completely while walking slooooooooooowly. Serious thought-cursing there. Makes me feel rebellious! Haha

"I believe that while not all people are essentially good, most are trying" - Adam Savage
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14-02-2017, 08:06 AM
RE: Deep Scars
(14-02-2017 07:40 AM)LadyDay Wrote:  For me a big one is the idea of your thoughts always being monitored and under scrutiny by God. You can never be alone, not even in your own head. While I'm recovering well from religion, I still feel guilty, anxious and like a bad person whenever I have some stray thought that isn't perfect.

I had this one for awhile after recovering from religion. What really helped me was replacing God with a leprechaun (I'm Irish Tongue but you can choose any magical being you wish). When I would feel under scrutiny for a thought due to brainwashing by religion, I would replace God listening in to my thoughts with a leprechaun. Your brain starts to see the absurdity and it helps to kick out previous conditioning. Anyway, it worked for me. Also reminding yourself the thoughts you have (even imperfect ones) are all natural and are evolution based, so no need to feel guilty. Nothing is listening to you and if you don't like your thoughts, you can easily redirect them--but just remind yourself that you are doing it for you and for no other reason.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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14-02-2017, 08:15 AM
RE: Deep Scars
(14-02-2017 08:06 AM)jennybee Wrote:  I had this one for awhile after recovering from religion. What really helped me was replacing God with a leprechaun (I'm Irish Tongue but you can choose any magical being you wish). When I would feel under scrutiny for a thought due to brainwashing by religion, I would replace God listening in to my thoughts with a leprechaun. Your brain starts to see the absurdity and it helps to kick out previous conditioning. Anyway, it worked for me. Also reminding yourself the thoughts you have (even imperfect ones) are all natural and are evolution based, so no need to feel guilty. Nothing is listening to you and if you don't like your thoughts, you can easily redirect them--but just remind yourself that you are doing it for you and for no other reason.

It's not normally a specific thought that God, or now leprechauns, are watching. By now it's evolved into a more vague self-critique of thoughts, despite knowing that it's natural for the brain to process the world, good and bad.
But from now on I'll try to remind myself that leprechauns are watching whenever I start thought-policing myself Big Grin

"I believe that while not all people are essentially good, most are trying" - Adam Savage
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14-02-2017, 08:28 AM
RE: Deep Scars
(14-02-2017 08:15 AM)LadyDay Wrote:  
(14-02-2017 08:06 AM)jennybee Wrote:  I had this one for awhile after recovering from religion. What really helped me was replacing God with a leprechaun (I'm Irish Tongue but you can choose any magical being you wish). When I would feel under scrutiny for a thought due to brainwashing by religion, I would replace God listening in to my thoughts with a leprechaun. Your brain starts to see the absurdity and it helps to kick out previous conditioning. Anyway, it worked for me. Also reminding yourself the thoughts you have (even imperfect ones) are all natural and are evolution based, so no need to feel guilty. Nothing is listening to you and if you don't like your thoughts, you can easily redirect them--but just remind yourself that you are doing it for you and for no other reason.

It's not normally a specific thought that God, or now leprechauns, are watching. By now it's evolved into a more vague self-critique of thoughts, despite knowing that it's natural for the brain to process the world, good and bad.
But from now on I'll try to remind myself that leprechauns are watching whenever I start thought-policing myself Big Grin

I can tell from your posts that you're a caring, sweet, wonderful, funny person. If anyone should not be thought policing, it's you. Smile

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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14-02-2017, 08:45 AM
RE: Deep Scars
(14-02-2017 08:28 AM)jennybee Wrote:  I can tell from your posts that you're a caring, sweet, wonderful, funny person. If anyone should not be thought policing, it's you. Smile

Blush Thank you so much. You are so nice!
I'll try to tell my leprechauns that when they butt in Smile

It's sad that indoctrination has such deep hold of people that a bunch of amazing people here are still affected by it. But then it's good to have each other, and lovely people like you, for support!

I'm still giggling at the leprechauns idea Smile

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14-02-2017, 08:49 AM
RE: Deep Scars
(14-02-2017 08:45 AM)LadyDay Wrote:  
(14-02-2017 08:28 AM)jennybee Wrote:  I can tell from your posts that you're a caring, sweet, wonderful, funny person. If anyone should not be thought policing, it's you. Smile

Blush Thank you so much. You are so nice!
I'll try to tell my leprechauns that when they butt in Smile

It's sad that indoctrination has such deep hold of people that a bunch of amazing people here are still affected by it. But then it's good to have each other, and lovely people like you, for support!

I'm still giggling at the leprechauns idea Smile

From the pics you've posted in the past, you're one of those rare people who's beautiful both inside and out. Own it Wink

I promise the leprechauns didn't tell me to say that Hobo Tongue

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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14-02-2017, 09:02 AM
RE: Deep Scars
(14-02-2017 08:49 AM)jennybee Wrote:  
(14-02-2017 08:45 AM)LadyDay Wrote:  Blush Thank you so much. You are so nice!
I'll try to tell my leprechauns that when they butt in Smile

It's sad that indoctrination has such deep hold of people that a bunch of amazing people here are still affected by it. But then it's good to have each other, and lovely people like you, for support!

I'm still giggling at the leprechauns idea Smile

From the pics you've posted in the past, you're one of those rare people who's beautiful both inside and out. Own it Wink

I promise the leprechauns didn't tell me to say that Hobo Tongue

Oh dear Flying Spaghettimonster, those pics are unfortunately almost 10 years and 20 kilos old. Stupid meds with that side effect. Oh well, fortunately my awesome partner still likes how I look, curves and all. Heart I'm working on convincing my own somewhat fragile ego that they are womanly, not hippopotamus-ly Facepalm

Also, all humans are beautiful and amazing. Even the male ones. Tongue
Now I haven't seen pictures of you, but I'm sure it goes for you too.

"I believe that while not all people are essentially good, most are trying" - Adam Savage
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