Depression
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10-10-2013, 12:37 PM
Depression
I get the strong feeling lately that I am depressed. I'll try to explain why and maybe some of the more knowledgeable people here might be able to help.

First of all, I feel very alone in the world. I have some friends, one or two better friends whom I have fun with, but overall I feel lonely and misunderstood. I have never had a girlfriend and I do not expect I shall get one anytime soon. My social anxiety and insecurity has increased over the last year, which doesn't really help my social connections. Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike myself, I'm not suicidal. I just don't like myself relative to other people and the world in general who seem to cope so much better with life's struggles.

On top of that, I'm repeating a year of school so I'm in a class with new people who I don't know, and with my social anxiety increasing, I'm not exactly making a bunch of new friends. In breaks and free periods I hang out with the friends I already have.
I also don't have great motivation for school. Despite having an intellectual objection against the authoritarian way school's are run, I also just don't care at all about learning this stuff. I'm just gonna pass with minimum required effort and see what happens from there.

My home situation is actually fine. In fact, it's better than average I would say. I have caring and understanding parents who listen to me and treat me well. My brother moved out not too long ago but I still have a good bond with him.

In general, I feel like total crap. I don't know what's going to happen in the future and I can't think of anything I want to do with my life. I don't want to go to university, I don't want to work. The only time I'm happy is when I'm carefree, which rarely happens and will keep happening less and less as I grow older.

I am thinking about seeking help, at least to a basic degree. Also, before you react I want to say this: I don't want to hear anything like "it's just a phase", "you're just a kid" or "you'll grow out of it". Dismissing the issue in such a quick way is not respectful towards me, nor is it constructive. If you think this is common and that it will go over, please communicate this in a good way with facts to back it up.

Any help I get will be much appreciated, if not helpful.

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10-10-2013, 12:59 PM
RE: Depression
(10-10-2013 12:37 PM)NL Atheist Wrote:  I get the strong feeling lately that I am depressed. I'll try to explain why and maybe some of the more knowledgeable people here might be able to help.

First of all, I feel very alone in the world. I have some friends, one or two better friends whom I have fun with, but overall I feel lonely and misunderstood. I have never had a girlfriend and I do not expect I shall get one anytime soon. My social anxiety and insecurity has increased over the last year, which doesn't really help my social connections. Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike myself, I'm not suicidal. I just don't like myself relative to other people and the world in general who seem to cope so much better with life's struggles.

On top of that, I'm repeating a year of school so I'm in a class with new people who I don't know, and with my social anxiety increasing, I'm not exactly making a bunch of new friends. In breaks and free periods I hang out with the friends I already have.
I also don't have great motivation for school. Despite having an intellectual objection against the authoritarian way school's are run, I also just don't care at all about learning this stuff. I'm just gonna pass with minimum required effort and see what happens from there.

My home situation is actually fine. In fact, it's better than average I would say. I have caring and understanding parents who listen to me and treat me well. My brother moved out not too long ago but I still have a good bond with him.

In general, I feel like total crap. I don't know what's going to happen in the future and I can't think of anything I want to do with my life. I don't want to go to university, I don't want to work. The only time I'm happy is when I'm carefree, which rarely happens and will keep happening less and less as I grow older.

I am thinking about seeking help, at least to a basic degree. Also, before you react I want to say this: I don't want to hear anything like "it's just a phase", "you're just a kid" or "you'll grow out of it". Dismissing the issue in such a quick way is not respectful towards me, nor is it constructive. If you think this is common and that it will go over, please communicate this in a good way with facts to back it up.

Any help I get will be much appreciated, if not helpful.

Depression can be pretty debilitating. If you haven't, consider talking with your folks about your feelings. I find that talking about things helps. It also might be a good idea to seek some help of some sort. Know that you're not alone and that there are viable ways to address/treat/work through your situation.
Good luck!
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10-10-2013, 01:05 PM
RE: Depression
(10-10-2013 12:37 PM)NL Atheist Wrote:  before you react I want to say this: I don't want to hear anything like "it's just a phase", "you're just a kid" or "you'll grow out of it". Dismissing the issue in such a quick way is not respectful towards me, nor is it constructive. If you think this is common and that it will go over, please communicate this in a good way with facts to back it up.

Any help I get will be much appreciated, if not helpful.

I've been dealing with depression my whole life. Don't EVER let anyone tell you any of those things. There is a lot of ignorance surrounding depression, I've been told "You just need to look on the bright side of things". Depression is not a point of view, it's not a pessimistic outlook, it's a freaking medical disorder. It's hard for people who have never dealt with depression to understand that cheering you up won't help because it's not a lack of cheer, it's a lack of ability to feel cheer.

I'm not a psychiatrist by any stretch of the imagination, but I highly recommend getting professional help. Getting a proper diagnosis and finding a medicine that works for you will do great things for your outlook on life. Don't get frustrated if you have to switch medicines a few times. I went through 3 different prescriptions before I found one that treated my depression without equally bad side effects. One made me emotionally numb, one had sexual side effects, etc.

Please, talk to a psychiatric professional ASAP. Depression doesn't go away on its own and no amount of positive thinking will pull you out of it. I've seen first hand the destructive power of untreated depression. It's a terrible thing, especially knowing that there are so many treatment options available.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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10-10-2013, 01:07 PM
RE: Depression
Yes you sound depressed. But your depression seems mostly caused by your social anxiety. If you make small steps in the right direction, to find ways of reducing - or dealing with - your anxiety, you probably feel better. Perhaps a good first step would be to talk to a psychologist who can give you practical advise how to deal with your anxiety. Perhaps you can ask your parents, or your doctor for help. They can refer you to a psychologist.
Good luck.
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10-10-2013, 01:25 PM
RE: Depression
(10-10-2013 01:05 PM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  I've been dealing with depression my whole life. Don't EVER let anyone tell you any of those things. There is a lot of ignorance surrounding depression, I've been told "You just need to look on the bright side of things". Depression is not a point of view, it's not a pessimistic outlook, it's a freaking medical disorder. It's hard for people who have never dealt with depression to understand that cheering you up won't help because it's not a lack of cheer, it's a lack of ability to feel cheer.

I'm not a psychiatrist by any stretch of the imagination, but I highly recommend getting professional help. Getting a proper diagnosis and finding a medicine that works for you will do great things for your outlook on life. Don't get frustrated if you have to switch medicines a few times. I went through 3 different prescriptions before I found one that treated my depression without equally bad side effects. One made me emotionally numb, one had sexual side effects, etc.
I agree that he should get professional help, but I would stay away from the medicines for now. Your situation may not be the same as his. We do not know whether he has a disposition for depression. I think he has some concrete
problems, social anxiety, loneliness, being in a classroom with strangers because
he had to redo his grade etc. If he would make more friends,
gets a girlfriend even, he would probably feel less depressed. Medicines
have side effects as you mentioned, and that might just add to the problems
that he already has.
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10-10-2013, 01:29 PM
RE: Depression
(10-10-2013 01:05 PM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  
(10-10-2013 12:37 PM)NL Atheist Wrote:  before you react I want to say this: I don't want to hear anything like "it's just a phase", "you're just a kid" or "you'll grow out of it". Dismissing the issue in such a quick way is not respectful towards me, nor is it constructive. If you think this is common and that it will go over, please communicate this in a good way with facts to back it up.

Any help I get will be much appreciated, if not helpful.

I've been dealing with depression my whole life. Don't EVER let anyone tell you any of those things. There is a lot of ignorance surrounding depression, I've been told "You just need to look on the bright side of things". Depression is not a point of view, it's not a pessimistic outlook, it's a freaking medical disorder. It's hard for people who have never dealt with depression to understand that cheering you up won't help because it's not a lack of cheer, it's a lack of ability to feel cheer.

I'm not a psychiatrist by any stretch of the imagination, but I highly recommend getting professional help. Getting a proper diagnosis and finding a medicine that works for you will do great things for your outlook on life. Don't get frustrated if you have to switch medicines a few times. I went through 3 different prescriptions before I found one that treated my depression without equally bad side effects. One made me emotionally numb, one had sexual side effects, etc.

Please, talk to a psychiatric professional ASAP. Depression doesn't go away on its own and no amount of positive thinking will pull you out of it. I've seen first hand the destructive power of untreated depression. It's a terrible thing, especially knowing that there are so many treatment options available.

Thanks for the information, I will definetely talk to people about it, and most likely will seek professional help. I definetely don't think depression goes away just like that, but I feel no need of rushing it either. I'm not going to stretch it out, but since it's not that severe and because I haven't even once thought seriously about suicide or self-harm (which seems to be a big red flag) I don't think I need to rush to a psychiatrist. I'm going to face this adequately and efficiently, though.

Thanks for the great advice!

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10-10-2013, 01:30 PM
RE: Depression
(10-10-2013 01:07 PM)black_squirrel Wrote:  Yes you sound depressed. But your depression seems mostly caused by your social anxiety. If you make small steps in the right direction, to find ways of reducing - or dealing with - your anxiety, you probably feel better. Perhaps a good first step would be to talk to a psychologist who can give you practical advise how to deal with your anxiety. Perhaps you can ask your parents, or your doctor for help. They can refer you to a psychologist.
Good luck.

The anxiety might have much to do with it, yes, but I think that anxiety in turn is a result of hopelesness and lack of self-worth because some sort of depressed nihilism developing inside me.

Thanks for replying, I appreciate it.

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10-10-2013, 01:41 PM
RE: Depression
(10-10-2013 01:25 PM)black_squirrel Wrote:  I agree that he should get professional help, but I would stay away from the medicines for now. Your situation may not be the same as his. We do not know whether he has a disposition for depression. I think he has some concrete
problems, social anxiety, loneliness, being in a classroom with strangers because
he had to redo his grade etc. If he would make more friends,
gets a girlfriend even, he would probably feel less depressed. Medicines
have side effects as you mentioned, and that might just add to the problems
that he already has.

Aye, that's why I recommended seeking professional psychiatric health and getting a proper diagnosis.

(10-10-2013 01:25 PM)black_squirrel Wrote:  If he would make more friends,
gets a girlfriend even, he would probably feel less depressed. Medicines
have side effects as you mentioned, and that might just add to the problems
that he already has.

Not if he has clinical depression. Again, this is why I first and foremost said to get professional help. With clinical depression, getting a girlfriend or more friends isn't going to do a damn thing. In fact, having depression will make those things infinitely harder to obtain and maintain. Clinical depression is not just something that a puppy and a hug will make better.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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10-10-2013, 01:46 PM
RE: Depression
(10-10-2013 01:41 PM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  Not if he has clinical depression. Again, this is why I first and foremost said to get professional help. With clinical depression, getting a girlfriend or more friends isn't going to do a damn thing. In fact, having depression will make those things infinitely harder to obtain and maintain. Clinical depression is not just something that a puppy and a hug will make better.

I very much appreaciate your concern, but I doubt it's clinical. It just seems more like my life is a complete waste of effort right now mainly because it has no meaning. Getting a girlfriend would give it meaning alright, it might make me feel significantly less depressed.
I don't know the severity of my condition, but I doubt it's a very serious depression. It's a depression, so it should be taken serious, but I'm not sure whether the loneliness comes from the depression or if the depression comes from the loneliness.

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10-10-2013, 09:34 PM
RE: Depression
+1 on talking to someone right away, it will help a lot in its own right.
+1 on exercising daily (start tomorrow if possible) to use your own endorphins to help pull you out of it, AND
+1 on waiting on the Meds - postpone indefinitely unless a professional thinks its absolutely necessary.

It happens to the best of us, you will work through this. Best of luck!

Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're an incredible slouch.

Martin Luther was the "father" of two movements - The Reformation and Nazism.
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