Depression report, December.
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21-12-2013, 02:21 PM
Depression report, December.
Well. It's that time of year. I sometimes don't feel like getting out of bed, or going to work and generally just hate people.

I have attempted to get outside of my comfort zone and socialize with people. However, my attempts were very much ignored. I posted up on FB to invite local "friends" to come over, shoot the shit, have some scotch, relax and maybe have a few cigars. I got no responses that were serious. That morning on the way to work I had a really hard time getting out of bed. I just didn't want to do anything. I felt super down, super sad and was damn near in tears on my way to work just really aching to go do ANYTHING because I haven't done anything in WEEKS. Just fucking fed the fuck up with everything. Just an empty, angry, sad day. When I got no responses, I was so fucking mad and I just hated everyone. I remember thinking, "FUCK these people. How can anyone call themselves a friend and not try and support someone who goes through these swings? The fuck? Maybe people just want to use me? Well, fuck people."

I tried again a day later for another attempt, still no serious responses. I texted a few local friends and even called up a few to try and socialize with SOMEONE. Everyone made up excuses. This leads me to a question:

Is there something about me that people don't enjoy being around? Am I somehow difficult to be around? Am I not fun to hang out with? What's up?

As odd as it sounds, I was chatting with a few cigar afficionados in a cigar club and they have a google hangout. They invited me (same night I invited my friends to hang out and no one did) to come join them on the hangout, have some cigars and scotch. So I did. I have to say, I had a blast! I was on there for almost 5 hours, I had 3 cigars and a bunch of scotch. Nice little buzz, not drunk, just bullshitting and talking life and all kinds of shit and cigars. I had so much fun!

Afterwards... I felt on top of the world. I think a large problem with my depression is lack of social interaction. It hit me SUPER HARD when I was on a graveyard shift. I was the only person in the building at work for 12 hours. No one to talk to. During my dinner breaks I'd reach out on the internet for SOMETHING, usually with little to no response at those wee hours of the morning. Found some international penpal sites and found some friends to exchange emails with. I looked forward to those more than ANYTHING in the morning, it made my day since it was some of the only interaction I got.

I have found though, that I don't need to reach out to people in person. I've found that I do not mind, and sometimes even prefer reaching out to people online. Video conferences such as google hangout and skype are really a blast and I really enjoy them. I feel just as stimulated doing that as I do in person. I will probably make it a larger habit to find people on hangouts and skype more often. It really has helped with my depression to socialize more, and it's like it lasts me days and days after having some interaction.

From one intermittently depressed individual to those who may not "get it" - if someone is really reaching out and seems depressed, maybe at least float them a "Hello" - it might just make their day that much better Smile

I'm going to go work on my car since it's in the 50s today, and have a cigar.

Thumbsup

Official ordained minister of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Please pm me with prayer requests to his noodly goodness. Remember, he boiled for your sins and loves you. Carbo Diem! RAmen.
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21-12-2013, 02:26 PM
RE: Depression report, December.
glad to hear the online hangout was a good pick-you-up.

it hits me in waves….somedays are better than others.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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21-12-2013, 02:31 PM
RE: Depression report, December.
(21-12-2013 02:26 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  glad to hear the online hangout was a good pick-you-up.

it hits me in waves….somedays are better than others.

I have waves as well. Some days I'm fine, and then I just feel isolated and sad. I have hardly any good friends locally to hang with. I have found the local atheist meetup group, but most of them are a town over, and I hate driving long distances and long durations just to hang out with people. There are a few in my local town in the meetup, but they have families, are always busy.

It's hard for me to related to people my own age because most of them have kids and a family. I've got a wife, an italian project car and still love my hobbies like paragliding and astrophotography. Finding anyone who enjoys the same stuff feels impossible in such a small town. Not to mention, it's a pretty religious town. I do go to the atheist meetups and often have a blast there, but it's not enough stimulation for me because it's so infrequent.

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21-12-2013, 02:36 PM
RE: Depression report, December.
I love ya, man. It fucking sucks and shouldn't be this way.

Your buddies from the surrounding area, do they know about the depression? Sometimes they need it spelled out really clearly as it's something that can sometimes go amiss.

You need me to beat some facebookians up? Flex I can do that. Yes

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21-12-2013, 02:42 PM
RE: Depression report, December.
Same for me...I am worried about how I will fare after I am done with school in the spring. Hours to fill and I am not a social butterfly.

December usually suck a lot for me but for some reason, this year isn't so bad. I had about a week of feeling blue but okay otherwise. It may have to do with us getting ready to move to another building at work. Lots of planning and coordinating that needs to be done and the time goes by a bit faster. Added to that, our back account at work got compromised so (as the bookkeeper) I have had the extra duties of getting money moved around and changing autopayments and things like that. Perhaps the break from the routine is what is keeping me afloat.

I have downsized everything Christmas the last few years and make it as simple as possible. While everyone else is running around worried about 'obligations', I am just enjoying letting it happen. Other than some time on Amazon, some gift wrapping, and shopping for a ham and trimmings...that's been about it for me.

Some people think interacting online isn't a good replacement for face-to-face contact. I like it because I can come and go as I please, be dressed in comfy clothes, and have my critters around.

We all have to find what works for us and go with it.

Glad you are feeling a bit better. Enjoy that weather, it's cold and rainy here.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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21-12-2013, 02:44 PM
RE: Depression report, December.
astrophotography! my brother used to dabble a bit in that and I've always enjoyed looking at his pictures, and when he would set up his telescope. Now where I live I can't see much because of light pollution and don't know enough about the constellations to find anything other than the very, very basic constellations (big dipper, orion, a few planets) And kids, sigh, make it hard to find the time to invest in it.

I see so many beautiful photo's of the milky way, would love to go camping and see that with my own eyes some day, as well as the aurora's.

do you go to any astronomy clubs. I just found one that does a monthly star party about an hour from here in the NC mountains that I would like to attend.


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21-12-2013, 03:08 PM
RE: Depression report, December.
Not enough Diablo III, methinks. Consider

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21-12-2013, 03:48 PM
RE: Depression report, December.
(21-12-2013 03:08 PM)Vosur Wrote:  Not enough Diablo III, methinks. Consider

Ya, man me and Vosur have been having a blast on Diablo 3 and chatting on Skype. You should join us! Vosur needs someone to help resurrect me when I inevitably die!

Onward, my faithful steed!
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21-12-2013, 04:47 PM
RE: Depression report, December.
Log,
You have so much good stuff in your life. I suggest trying an anti-depressant. Really.

I recently had a chat with one of my brothers about not having a circle of good friends. We both have a couple of close ones and the others. We've both had many friendships that didn't last forever for all kinds of reasons. Of course, I have my three brothers as well as my friends.

You haven't messaged me recently - please do.


And I'd have more sympathy if you didn't own a freakin' Lamborghini.

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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21-12-2013, 06:29 PM
RE: Depression report, December.
(21-12-2013 02:21 PM)Logisch Wrote:  Well. It's that time of year. I sometimes don't feel like getting out of bed, or going to work and generally just hate people.

I have attempted to get outside of my comfort zone and socialize with people. However, my attempts were very much ignored. I posted up on FB to invite local "friends" to come over, shoot the shit, have some scotch, relax and maybe have a few cigars. I got no responses that were serious. That morning on the way to work I had a really hard time getting out of bed. I just didn't want to do anything. I felt super down, super sad and was damn near in tears on my way to work just really aching to go do ANYTHING because I haven't done anything in WEEKS. Just fucking fed the fuck up with everything. Just an empty, angry, sad day. When I got no responses, I was so fucking mad and I just hated everyone. I remember thinking, "FUCK these people. How can anyone call themselves a friend and not try and support someone who goes through these swings? The fuck? Maybe people just want to use me? Well, fuck people."

I tried again a day later for another attempt, still no serious responses. I texted a few local friends and even called up a few to try and socialize with SOMEONE. Everyone made up excuses. This leads me to a question:

Is there something about me that people don't enjoy being around? Am I somehow difficult to be around? Am I not fun to hang out with? What's up?
I don't know you at all, but what you have written so far does not
sound like much fun. Are you friends into scotch or cigars? Maybe you
could suggest something (more?) fun, like watch a movie.

On the other hand, if you really feel you need to talk to someone
you could tell them that. It may not be clear to them that you need
their help.
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