Poll: "We accept the love we think we deserve."
Bullshit
Totes true
Fuck if I know, I ain't figured out shit.
[Show Results]
 
Deserving of Love
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
22-12-2015, 02:11 PM
RE: Deserving of Love
Meh. Take "deserve" out of the equation. Love you deserve makes it conditional, and I don't know about you, but I don't want someone who will love me only under specific conditions. So...this is your fourth NYE alone...this will be about my tenth, I think, because #1...I still have the emotions of a 12 year old boy who will forever be awkward with women, and #2...I won't settle for someone who won't give me the best of themselves because I aim to give the best of myself. But that's not about "deserving", it's about giving your all and expecting the same in return. Anything less than that is just casual fun and not meant to be a serious relationship, IMO.

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Erxomai's post
22-12-2015, 02:17 PM (This post was last modified: 22-12-2015 02:26 PM by Adrianime.)
RE: Deserving of Love
(22-12-2015 02:11 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  Meh. Take "deserve" out of the equation. Love you deserve makes it conditional, and I don't know about you, but I don't want someone who will love me only under specific conditions.
I don't believe in unconditional love (of any type: family, friends, lovers..) Tongue, but I guess that's a separate topic.

Edit: Found this article and gave it a quick read and agree much with the authorThe #1 Relationship Myth Keeping You From Lasting Love

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Adrianime's post
22-12-2015, 02:20 PM
RE: Deserving of Love
(22-12-2015 02:17 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  
(22-12-2015 02:11 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  Meh. Take "deserve" out of the equation. Love you deserve makes it conditional, and I don't know about you, but I don't want someone who will love me only under specific conditions.
I don't believe in unconditional love (of any type: family, friends, lovers..) Tongue, but I guess that's a separate topic.

I would unconditionally love my children (if I had any). But, other than that, an adult who treats me like shit--no I would not unconditionally love someone like that.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like jennybee's post
22-12-2015, 02:27 PM
RE: Deserving of Love
(22-12-2015 02:20 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(22-12-2015 02:17 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  I don't believe in unconditional love (of any type: family, friends, lovers..) Tongue, but I guess that's a separate topic.

I would unconditionally love my children (if I had any). But, other than that, an adult who treats me like shit--no I would not unconditionally love someone like that.
If your child was Jeff Dahmer?

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-12-2015, 02:33 PM
RE: Deserving of Love
(22-12-2015 02:27 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  
(22-12-2015 02:20 PM)jennybee Wrote:  I would unconditionally love my children (if I had any). But, other than that, an adult who treats me like shit--no I would not unconditionally love someone like that.
If your child was Jeff Dahmer?

I would love him as a mother loves a child, but hate and be disgusted by what he did.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes jennybee's post
22-12-2015, 02:35 PM
RE: Deserving of Love
(22-12-2015 02:33 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(22-12-2015 02:27 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  If your child was Jeff Dahmer?

I would love him as a mother loves a child, but hate and be disgusted by what he did.
Interesting. Consider

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-12-2015, 03:57 PM
RE: Deserving of Love
(21-12-2015 09:20 PM)Nurse Wrote:  [Image: 7000-sam-why-do-i-and-everyone-i-love-pi..._width.png]

I'm not sure about this. If I'm being short sighted. Is it just clever phrasing or is there some truth behind this? "We accept the love we think we deserve."


*I put this in the P&I section so no one will come along and be a trolling dick on a sensitive topic, but I'd love a discussion.


Why this topic is on my mind and why it is sensitive:
I'm not being treated well, like I'm someone. Like I'm valuable. I just have so little and so few people in my life right now it's better than absolutely nothing. At least I think it's better than nothing. And I keep getting my hopes up thinking things are going to change.

I'm not crazy, I'm not terribly eccentric, I'm not ugly, I like to have a good time and have a wide variety of interests, I'm intelligent, I'm kind to everyone I meet until they're an asshole first. So what the fuck gives? Why is it that I'm spending my fourth New Year's in a row alone? Well, I say alone, I may be crashing my parents' NYE they've done with my aunt and uncle every year for the past 27 years.

Personally, I think the quote is bullshit. I asked for a divorce because he treated me poorly (that he was able to jump into a "serious" relationship with a girl he "started" dating a week after he moved out speaks volumes). A quote that does have merit - "nice guys finish last." But then why am I putting up with my current scenario? Do I really think nothing of myself? Until this, I was convinced I was self absorbed.

Part of me wants to say I don't "deserve" shit, it is what it is and it's how the chips fall.

This'll be my fifth new year's alone unless something happens that I'm not expecting, and the one before that my gf at the time, my first "serious" relationship, spent new year's at her ex-bf's house because "that's what she'd always done for the past four years" and we weren't doing great at the moment. Laugh out loadLaughatWeepingFacepalm

Anyway, I think I agree with Jenny and Adrian, that there's a little truth to the quote. You didn't accept the love (or lack thereof) your ex was giving you because you thought/knew you deserved better and ended it.

But fuck if I know, I ain't figured out shit.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-12-2015, 04:23 PM
RE: Deserving of Love
(22-12-2015 12:37 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  
(22-12-2015 12:30 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  I think that quote is drivel. In some way there might be truth to it, but I can't help to think that the woman who's husband starts abusing her and or her children doesn't deserve that.

Or the woman who's beaten her husband down emotionally for years...I don't see how deserves it either.

I've seen too many relationships, some people do make mistakes others see a mile away. But do they do because they think they deserve it...

I don't know.
Of course they don't "deserve" that. But the quote is talking about what people *think* they deserve, not what they actually deserve.

I understand that. But I've known quite a few women who did feel (probably because of already low self worth) they couldn't do any better. They stayed with abuser because they felt it would be worse to leave and might end up with someone worse.

So, to that end it is exactly what they "think they deserve" often because they might not know anything different or better.

In any event, it's one of those bullshit like and share things Facebook is rife with. At first glance, it sounds fine and dandy but when you really think about it, beyond the initial feels, it begins to reek of crap.

Or maybe I'm just to jaded and cynical to see the good in things anymore? Consider


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Momsurroundedbyboys's post
22-12-2015, 05:05 PM
RE: Deserving of Love
(22-12-2015 04:23 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  
(22-12-2015 12:37 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  Of course they don't "deserve" that. But the quote is talking about what people *think* they deserve, not what they actually deserve.

I understand that. But I've known quite a few women who did feel (probably because of already low self worth) they couldn't do any better. They stayed with abuser because they felt it would be worse to leave and might end up with someone worse.

So, to that end it is exactly what they "think they deserve" often because they might not know anything different or better.


In any event, it's one of those bullshit like and share things Facebook is rife with. At first glance, it sounds fine and dandy but when you really think about it, beyond the initial feels, it begins to reek of crap.

Or maybe I'm just to jaded and cynical to see the good in things anymore? Consider
Sounds like you agree with the quote Tongue. Yeah it is one of those FBesque type of things for sure.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-12-2015, 05:17 PM
RE: Deserving of Love
(22-12-2015 02:33 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(22-12-2015 02:27 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  If your child was Jeff Dahmer?

I would love him as a mother loves a child, but hate and be disgusted by what he did.

I could still love the children they were, if they turned out horrible but I couldn't unconditionally love them as adults if they chose to be cruel or horrible people.

I don't believe in unconditional love. I think all love is conditional. Not everyone has the same conditions but if your child abused, tortured and started killing you or someone else, a baby, an elderly person, no matter how much you once loved them, could you still? I couldn't.

I could think of several horrible scenarios where their actions would kill my love for them.

[Image: dnw9krH.jpg?4]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Heatheness's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: