Dialing for Jesus while drunk- best to have your wallet open
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28-08-2016, 07:26 AM
Dialing for Jesus while drunk- best to have your wallet open
So my nephew and I got pretty soused last night and I was surfing religious channels while we were both inebriated.

After making fun of the idiot preachers on the Salsa channel my nephew decides to call their 1-800 help line. So the call connects and of course a human doesn't answer, it goes to an automated robo-preacher who starts robo-praying for you.

So we stay on the line for 28 minutes and a human finally picks up, my nephew tells them how long he's waited and how that's terrible for someone that might call and really needs help. The tool on the other end says something about god has his own time or something like that and then my nephew hangs up.

So I thought about it and said you know, I bet we wouldn't be on hold for 28 minutes if we called and chose the donation option on the menu. So my nephew calls back and chooses the donation option, he immediately gets through to a human on the other end, zero wait time. Facepalm

Ok, this was rather revealing, so we decided to call again just to make sure, we call back, choose the donation option - we get directly to a human on the other end, no wait!

Oh, and BTW, this was around 12 in the morning, so the lines shouldn't be very busy at that time, the 28 minute wait was in off-peak hours.

So praise Jeebus and get results fast when your wallet is open. We get a glimpse of the money-making machine that is the TBN organization, not too surprised by how it's set up, but to actually get evidence of their priorities was amusing to say the least.

Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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28-08-2016, 07:29 AM
RE: Dialing for Jesus while drunk- best to have your wallet open
(28-08-2016 07:26 AM)TheInquisition Wrote:  So my nephew and I got pretty soused last night and I was surfing religious channels while we were both inebriated.

After making fun of the idiot preachers on the Salsa channel my nephew decides to call their 1-800 help line. So the call connects and of course a human doesn't answer, it goes to an automated robo-preacher who starts robo-praying for you.

So we stay on the line for 28 minutes and a human finally picks up, my nephew tells them how long he's waited and how that's terrible for someone that might call and really needs help. The tool on the other end says something about god has his own time or something like that and then my nephew hangs up.

So I thought about it and said you know, I bet we wouldn't be on hold for 28 minutes if we called and chose the donation option on the menu. So my nephew calls back and chooses the donation option, he immediately gets through to a human on the other end, zero wait time. Facepalm

Ok, this was rather revealing, so we decided to call again just to make sure, we call back, choose the donation option - we get directly to a human on the other end, no wait!

Oh, and BTW, this was around 12 in the morning, so the lines shouldn't be very busy at that time, the 28 minute wait was in off-peak hours.

So praise Jeebus and get results fast when your wallet is open. We get a glimpse of the money-making machine that is the TBN organization, not too surprised by how it's set up, but to actually get evidence of their priorities was amusing to say the least.

Bowing

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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28-08-2016, 07:44 PM
RE: Dialing for Jesus while drunk- best to have your wallet open



Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
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29-08-2016, 02:49 PM
RE: Dialing for Jesus while drunk- best to have your wallet open
Shock and Awe! Who would ever have thought the church was trying to get our money!? Big Grin That's pretty good, too bad y'all weren't sober enough to record that as a video and post it on youtube. Be curious to see if it stayed up...Rolleyes
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30-08-2016, 03:19 AM
RE: Dialing for Jesus while drunk- best to have your wallet open
[img][Image: 28855712026_ec86287ba2_z.jpg]

The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike
Excreta Tauri Sapientam Fulgeat (The excrement of the bull causes wisdom to flee)
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