Dirty water
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06-07-2015, 09:55 AM
Dirty water
I had to laugh. I heard on the news that the new UK princess, Charlotte, was baptised with water from the River Jordan specially flown in for the baptism. Ick. Yucky poo. Blah!

[Image: ss-150409-twip-07-nbcnews-ux-1360-900.jpg]

Yeah, lets take that water and put it on this baby.

[Image: kate-middleton-princess-charlotte-royal-...ening1.jpg]

I'm assuming they cleaned all the pee, shit and slime out of it.......or......some lackey aide just went down to the local supermarket and bought some bottled water. Told them...."yeah, it's from the River Jordan....Really it is!"

So, not being raised in a religious environment, I don't understand what the hell baptism water is supposed to do. Is the water supposed to enter into your body and make you pure. If it's symbolic why not just use anything. Perfumed toilette water, milk, wine or beer. I know Jesus was baptised in the River Jordan, according to myth, but what exactly was it supposed to do?

(PS. Kate has beautiful legs. )

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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06-07-2015, 10:41 AM
RE: Dirty water
(06-07-2015 09:55 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  So, not being raised in a religious environment, I don't understand what the hell baptism water is supposed to do. Is the water supposed to enter into your body and make you pure. If it's symbolic why not just use anything. Perfumed toilette water, milk, wine or beer. I know Jesus was baptised in the River Jordan, according to myth, but what exactly was it supposed to do?

The Joradn specifically, nothing that I know of, apart from cultural significance.

As far as baptism itself, it's basically a magical spell* that the Christians don't like calling magic that totally is required for getting you into heaven... or is not required. People have died over what this is supposed to mean, and no one can give you a biblically-based answer that can't be invalidated by someone else's biblically-based answer. Go figure.

*Yes totally. The magician priest/pastor says a specific set of magic words, does some specific gestures, and uses special reagents to bring about a specific, supernatural effect. The stated position of most Christians about Baptism is that it will have a very real effect on the person's fate in the afterlife.
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06-07-2015, 11:39 AM
RE: Dirty water
Baptism is pretty weird, but imagine if the Christians had latched onto a different pagan practice instead, like the taurobolium purification ritual of sitting underneath a slaughtered bull and letting its blood drip into your mouth Laugh out load

If we came from dust, then why is there still dust?
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06-07-2015, 02:10 PM
RE: Dirty water
Only very slightly off subject.

I was baptised, (it was the expected thing in 1958) and my middle name was nearly "Bugger".
An explanation is in order.

I was born with all 4 front teeth. I bit the vicar. I drew blood. He swore.

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06-07-2015, 02:21 PM
RE: Dirty water


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08-07-2015, 01:12 PM
RE: Dirty water
(06-07-2015 10:41 AM)RobbyPants Wrote:  
(06-07-2015 09:55 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  So, not being raised in a religious environment, I don't understand what the hell baptism water is supposed to do. Is the water supposed to enter into your body and make you pure. If it's symbolic why not just use anything. Perfumed toilette water, milk, wine or beer. I know Jesus was baptised in the River Jordan, according to myth, but what exactly was it supposed to do?

The Joradn specifically, nothing that I know of, apart from cultural significance.

As far as baptism itself, it's basically a magical spell* that the Christians don't like calling magic that totally is required for getting you into heaven... or is not required. People have died over what this is supposed to mean, and no one can give you a biblically-based answer that can't be invalidated by someone else's biblically-based answer. Go figure.

*Yes totally. The magician priest/pastor says a specific set of magic words, does some specific gestures, and uses special reagents to bring about a specific, supernatural effect. The stated position of most Christians about Baptism is that it will have a very real effect on the person's fate in the afterlife.

.....

I'm sorry, give me a moment.

....

Nope, another moment.

....

Okay, I might have an easier time of this if you didn't say "real effect" and "afterlife" in the same sentence.

"If I ignore the alternatives, the only option is God; I ignore them; therefore God." -- The Syllogism of Fail
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08-07-2015, 01:19 PM
RE: Dirty water
Well the Queen is the head of the church of England. As a result the royal family must hold to these traditions as it is their only claim on legitimacy. They rule by "God given right", nothing more.

Royalty is an outdated concept if ever there was one. And I see the Queen on the back of every coin that passes through my hands. It makes me sick!

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09-07-2015, 07:50 AM
RE: Dirty water
(06-07-2015 10:41 AM)RobbyPants Wrote:  *Yes totally. The magician priest/pastor says a specific set of magic words, does some specific gestures, and uses special reagents to bring about a specific, supernatural effect. The stated position of most Christians about Baptism is that it will have a very real effect on the person's fate in the afterlife.

Actually, it doesn't even require a magical priest/pastor or even holy water or fecal-contaminated Jordan river water. Anyone can do a baptism with tap water, no special powers required. That is why Edgardo Mortara was taken from his Jewish parents after he was baptized by the christian girl taking care of him.
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