Disoriented ex Catholic - how to make moral decisions?
Post Reply
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
19-09-2016, 06:15 PM
RE: Disoriented ex Catholic - how to make moral decisions?
(19-09-2016 05:14 PM)ErinRH2342 Wrote:  One major thing I keep running into over and over is getting used to the fact that I don't have some objective standard to answer to.
Yes, I imagine it is quite the paradigm shift.
To go from the certainty of having rights and wrongs to the uncertainty of there not being any absolute rules to guide you.
(19-09-2016 05:14 PM)ErinRH2342 Wrote:  It's almost an instinct when I'm not sure about something to just go "Someone please tell me what to do" and wait patiently for the answer to be spoon fed to me and then accepted uncritically. It's weird I actually get to make up my own mind, if that makes sense.
My perception is that the religious organisations want to maintain control over you.
They have a product to sell, "Redemption", supported by some religious books as a basis.
They want you to want their product so they create a need. By telling you that you are flawed and are a sinner and need to be "saved". They use emotional appeals, "God loves you", "Jesus died for you", "God wants you to come to him".
Now since god conveniently doesn't speak or interact, they put themselves in the place of god's voice. With "god's voice" they then tell you what god wants from you. They tell you that you ought to be "Good" and tell you that in your flawed human sinner state that you cannot know what "good" is. You cannot trust in yourself, it would be arrogant of you to even presume to do so. "Well, heck" you might say "If I can't determine how to be good then how can I come to god? How can I do god's work, god's bidding? How can I become Christ-like and worthy? How can I give my life meaning?"
"Ahhh" they say, "We know what god wants, we know what god tells us is good, we know what god tells us is bad" We will guide you towards god.
Next minute you are in a dependant relationship. God is your shepherd (via the Church as proxy) and you are the sheep. He is the loving Father and you are the obedient children.

Well actually, in my view this is poor parenting.
I'm a father of two wonderful young girls.
I deem it as my job to prepare my girls to be themselves, to be independent, to have confidence in themselves and their ability to make choices. It is not my job to tell them what is right and wrong, that would be setting them up to rebel against me (probably when they hit their teenage years). If my girls are always looking for me to make their decisions for them, to guide them etc, then I have failed as a father IMHO.
So, going back to the religious thing. If God's will is for you to not trust in yourself and to have an everlasting dependency on the Church, then that would be "the god that failed" IMO.

What I'm trying to do with my girls is to let them know it is OK to make mistakes, it is OK to try things, it is OK to choose their own path. I actually lie to them on purpose at times, because I want them to challenge me, I want them to learn to employ critical thought and make their own decisions. It means I give up control of them, I must reward them using their own initiative and judgement even if it means I am unhappy. It is my place to support them and let them grow. To become independent and confident.

So my advice to you (for what it is worth) is somewhat similar. Don't be afraid to believe in yourself, don't be afraid to grow and learn and be assertive in choosing your paths through life. There is no right path, and what paths you choose today might be different to the paths you will choose tomorrow. It doesn't mean that you are wrong today, it doesn't mean that you need to regret your past decisions. Just accept that life comes with uncertainty, it comes with mistakes and challenges. Move forward and enjoy life. It's your life, your decisions, no-one is perfect. You don't need to be perfect.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Stevil's post
19-09-2016, 06:57 PM
RE: Disoriented ex Catholic - how to make moral decisions?
Try not to fuck the altar boys. If you can manage that you are way ahead of the fucking church to begin with.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Minimalist's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: