Divorce
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09-03-2014, 06:02 PM
Divorce
I'm going through a divorce, it's not a hotly contested or messy divorce in a legal sense, but it's one that's the result of circumstances I got blindsided by and am still struggling to cope with. Found an online support group and it's helpful at times, but a lot of "try going to church this Sunday" advice that while well intentioned isn't helpful. Pretty early on in this whole thing but it feels like it's left a pretty big gaping wound, God isn't going to fill that for me and a lot of folks just don't seem to grasp that.
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09-03-2014, 06:10 PM
RE: Divorce
(09-03-2014 06:02 PM)The Dude Wrote:  I'm going through a divorce, it's not a hotly contested or messy divorce in a legal sense, but it's one that's the result of circumstances I got blindsided by and am still struggling to cope with. Found an online support group and it's helpful at times, but a lot of "try going to church this Sunday" advice that while well intentioned isn't helpful. Pretty early on in this whole thing but it feels like it's left a pretty big gaping wound, God isn't going to fill that for me and a lot of folks just don't seem to grasp that.

Just let her go and stop making such a big deal out of it.
Change your perspective and you will feel much better I promise.
There are gazillion of other women and things to do out there.
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09-03-2014, 06:13 PM
RE: Divorce
(09-03-2014 06:02 PM)The Dude Wrote:  I'm going through a divorce, it's not a hotly contested or messy divorce in a legal sense, but it's one that's the result of circumstances I got blindsided by and am still struggling to cope with. Found an online support group and it's helpful at times, but a lot of "try going to church this Sunday" advice that while well intentioned isn't helpful. Pretty early on in this whole thing but it feels like it's left a pretty big gaping wound, God isn't going to fill that for me and a lot of folks just don't seem to grasp that.

Sorry to hear that man. It sort of scares me to even date a girl if i fear she will leave me. But you are a strong person and will recover. This song usually picks me up. You may not like it but it comes from a special place from the mind.


[Image: Guilmon-41189.gif] ♪僕は恐怖の一定した状態に住んで、不幸、逃すもう?僕は、それはもう痛いときも気づかないと
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09-03-2014, 06:14 PM
RE: Divorce
That sucks, I'm sorry. Even a non-messy divorce can be heartbreaking. It's such a huge life change, and a lot to deal with. If you want to post more details to get some more specific advice, there are TONS of wonderful people here who would love to help.

Without more details, all I can say is make it a clean break (if there aren't kids involved), and take it one day at a time. Hug

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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09-03-2014, 06:19 PM
RE: Divorce
Depending on the circumstances, that void will probably always be there to some extent. You just have to figure out what is next for you life. The worst thing to do is look for a replacement, things are still too new. You won't be worth much in a relationship until you figure out who you are out of a relationship.

If you were married a long time, there are habits and expectations that just takes time. Even if you are the injured party in a divorce there is a grieving process to go through and there isn't a way around it.

We are here to listen, offer a shoulder to cry on, and someone to rant at.

Sorry to hear about the troubles.

And welcome.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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09-03-2014, 06:24 PM
RE: Divorce
It always amazes me when men claim they were blindsided. This is usually not the case. Men often aren't very good at picking up on what's going on and will complain of her nagging when she's trying to hold a conversation about what she's unhappy with. On the other hand a lot of women will beat around the bush instead of making a direct statement, whether it's I'm feeling unloved, or I need you help with housework. This has a domino effect that starts that slippery road to divorce.
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10-03-2014, 06:08 AM
RE: Divorce
It will take time to heal and move on. A significant part of your life has ended do not expect to be ready to move on right away. Spend the next bit of time focused on you to get your head back on straight. Find things to keep you busy so you do not have time to dwel on the situation. Also keep in mind you are an individual so how long it take you to move on will be different than others.
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