Do I tell my depressed mom I'm an atheist?
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29-06-2013, 02:13 PM
RE: Do I tell my depressed mom I'm an atheist?
Four years, your mother should have begun starting a new life but it appears she's become a chronic complainer instead. As long as someone will listen to her tales of woe, she will wallow in them, maybe forever. It's time to stop listening to it by promptly changing the subject to something you find bright, a silly thing a child did or said, a loving comment from someone. It will take time but she will stop it if she's cut off at the pass every time. I don't see why you feel the need to tell her of your atheism. You are her child and should honor her by being tolerant of her beliefs as long as it doesn't involve woeful complaining.
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30-06-2013, 06:18 PM
RE: Do I tell my depressed mom I'm an atheist?
(29-06-2013 02:13 PM)Takelababy Wrote:  Four years, your mother should have begun starting a new life but it appears she's become a chronic complainer instead. As long as someone will listen to her tales of woe, she will wallow in them, maybe forever. It's time to stop listening to it by promptly changing the subject to something you find bright, a silly thing a child did or said, a loving comment from someone. It will take time but she will stop it if she's cut off at the pass every time. I don't see why you feel the need to tell her of your atheism. You are her child and should honor her by being tolerant of her beliefs as long as it doesn't involve woeful complaining.

I completely agree with you, she did become a chronic complainer. And you’ve got no clue how many books and websites I read on how to deal with this. I tried a lot of techniques with her; it’s getting a bit better. Very slowly thoughSad
I considered telling her about my atheism as a possible solution. I have to tip toe around her about everything. Just in case mommy will to be upset. I do feel dishonest, when I’m not telling her that I don’t believe in any of it. Theoretically, it would be good to come out and be honest, don’t they say just be yourself and tell how you really feel, but she just won’t understand it and it’ll make our relationships even worse than they already are.
I know I have to honour my parents, don’t worry, it was drilled into me since I was a kid. But her religiousness kinda gets ridiculous sometime.
A good example: yesterday I told mom, that my husband and I decided to stop drinking for a month or so to see how much money we save and I want to see how much weight I might lose. We are not alcoholics or anything, but we do enjoy our drinks with food and friendsSmile Mom really liked the idea and her suggestion to me is to pray when I feel tempted. I didn’t really say anything, changing a subject to something else, but she won’t let it go and demands of me why I don’t want to talk about it. I said, mom, look I don’t think I need god’s help not to drink for a couple of weeks. I’m a grown up person, who is responsible for her own actions; I’m sure I can do it on my own. The whole point is to test myself. And there we go again. Why do I not trust god, god is here to help and he takes pleasure in looking after us. And all that stuff I heard a billion times. I mean yeah, I can ignore a lot of what she says, but do we have a proper relationship when I'm constantly lying to her? Sometimes I just run out of patience to be honest, when even the most random discussion turns to god, it’s all god god god.
Oh and she walks around giving bibles to people who piss her off...
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