Do I tell my son?
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02-01-2015, 03:28 PM
RE: Do I tell my son?
(02-01-2015 01:04 PM)gofish! Wrote:  Sure, he complains he doesn't quite understand girls... Smile

I've worked with a brilliant 30 yo Asperger's Computer Engineer for the last 10 years when he was still in Uni who is the most productive engineer and programmer I've ever seen. Whenever he brings up a technical objection in a meeting he is invariably right but his delivery is often off. He used to make me sit next to him in meetings so I could kick him under the table when his point had already been made but he felt further reinforcement was required. He always said "I don't understand women." but since he found a girlfriend on match.com my intervention is no longer required. He never needed to understand women, all he needed was a woman who could understand him. At $116K/year as a Government employee with a shitload of benefits match.com responses weren't in short supply. ... wait was that sexist.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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02-01-2015, 03:35 PM
RE: Do I tell my son?
(02-01-2015 03:11 PM)gofish! Wrote:  No meds, no intervention last intervention was when he was 3-4), no therapy, so no reason to know. Plus we're real tight, he and I: he'd ask me (goodness knows, he's asked me about stuff that'd make anybody else blush!)

Why no meds?

(02-01-2015 12:36 PM)gofish! Wrote:  So why am I worried? Well, here's the kicker: my research into his condition, as well as a strange familiarity about some of his experiences is leading me to the conclusion that I may well be an undiagnosed Asperger case.

I worked with a guy who took his kid into the shrink because of ADD, ADHD, OCD, some sorta D and when the Doc was done diagnosing the kid the father said "That sounds exactly like me." They both left with a Ritalin script.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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02-01-2015, 03:38 PM
RE: Do I tell my son?
(02-01-2015 03:28 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(02-01-2015 01:04 PM)gofish! Wrote:  Sure, he complains he doesn't quite understand girls... Smile

I've worked with a brilliant 30 yo Asperger's Computer Engineer for the last 10 years when he was still in Uni who is the most productive engineer and programmer I've ever seen. Whenever he brings up a technical objection in a meeting he is invariably right but his delivery is often off. He used to make me sit next to him in meetings so I could kick him under the table when his point had already been made but he felt further reinforcement was required. He always said "I don't understand women." but since he found a girlfriend on match.com my intervention is no longer required. He never needed to understand women, all he needed was a woman who could understand him. At $116K/year as a Government employee with a shitload of benefits match.com responses weren't in short supply. ... wait was that sexist.

I know exactly what you mean. One of the best people I ever hired was like that. An autodidact, he taught himself Japanese and is a bit of a legend in the hacking community (White Hat, natch).

Interesting, Germany software company SAP recently went public with a campaign to positively discriminate for people on the spectrum, mainly because of their tendancy to be methodical completer-finishers.

I've long thought that certain human conditions, such as autism and even psychopathy, are not "disorders" at all but simply natural variations in the make up of the human mind. And from a natural-selection point of view, I'd not be surprised if someone was able to point to autistic-spectrum people giving humankind a survival edge.

But that's perhaps a bit off topic... Smile

"I don't mind being wrong...it's a time I get to learn something new..."
Me.
N.B: I routinely make edits to posts to correct grammar or spelling, or to restate a point more clearly. I only notify edits if they materially change meaning.
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02-01-2015, 03:41 PM
RE: Do I tell my son?
(02-01-2015 03:35 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(02-01-2015 03:11 PM)gofish! Wrote:  No meds, no intervention last intervention was when he was 3-4), no therapy, so no reason to know. Plus we're real tight, he and I: he'd ask me (goodness knows, he's asked me about stuff that'd make anybody else blush!)

Why no meds?

(02-01-2015 12:36 PM)gofish! Wrote:  So why am I worried? Well, here's the kicker: my research into his condition, as well as a strange familiarity about some of his experiences is leading me to the conclusion that I may well be an undiagnosed Asperger case.

I worked with a guy who took his kid into the shrink because of ADD, ADHD, OCD, some sorta D and when the Doc was done diagnosing the kid the father said "That sounds exactly like me." They both left with a Ritalin script.

Because he does not need them and meds do not treat Aspergers. And ADHD is not the same as autism.

"I don't mind being wrong...it's a time I get to learn something new..."
Me.
N.B: I routinely make edits to posts to correct grammar or spelling, or to restate a point more clearly. I only notify edits if they materially change meaning.
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02-01-2015, 03:48 PM
RE: Do I tell my son?
(02-01-2015 03:28 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  He always said "I don't understand women."
So he is a completely normal guy then!
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02-01-2015, 03:50 PM (This post was last modified: 02-01-2015 04:03 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Do I tell my son?
(02-01-2015 03:41 PM)gofish! Wrote:  
(02-01-2015 03:35 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Why no meds?


I worked with a guy who took his kid into the shrink because of ADD, ADHD, OCD, some sorta D and when the Doc was done diagnosing the kid the father said "That sounds exactly like me." They both left with a Ritalin script.

Because he does not need them and meds do not treat Aspergers. And ADHD is not the same as autism.

Asperger man I work with was on Ritalin for years back in the day but yeah I don't know shit what I'm talking about. Was back in the day so shamans may not have figured the potion yet. But when it comes to depression, pull up a chair and take notes. I ain't a witchdoctor I just go to them for the drugs - seroquel, trazodone, escitalopram, paroxetine, buproion, and testosterone been berry berry good to me. Dammit Jim, I'm a technologist not a Doctor.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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02-01-2015, 03:51 PM
RE: Do I tell my son?
(02-01-2015 03:38 PM)gofish! Wrote:  I've long thought that certain human conditions, such as autism and even psychopathy, are not "disorders" at all but simply natural variations in the make up of the human mind. And from a natural-selection point of view, I'd not be surprised if someone was able to point to autistic-spectrum people giving humankind a survival edge.

But that's perhaps a bit off topic... Smile

That’s a very interesting idea. I wonder where on the spectrum people like Newton, Einstein, Galileo, Mozart would have fallen?

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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02-01-2015, 03:53 PM
RE: Do I tell my son?
Sounds like he's a really smart kid. So I say tell him, as it will be a revelation, and a relief, to himself why's he's different. My little brother was diagnosed with Autism, pretty early, and has done amazingly well. Better than anyone ever thought. He knows he's different, and it's almost a non-issue now. In the same way it's a relief to you, it can be (but probably on a different level) to him. He can read about it, see where he fits in, how and why he fits the mold, and (as always), he can say "Well I don't have that part, but I do have that part". He's old enough now he may discover it on his own, soon. You can offer to guide him with resources you know about, so he gets that there are some very positive aspects of it.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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02-01-2015, 03:55 PM
RE: Do I tell my son?
(02-01-2015 03:50 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(02-01-2015 03:41 PM)gofish! Wrote:  Because he does not need them and meds do not treat Aspergers. And ADHD is not the same as autism.

Asperger man I work with was on Ritalin for years back in the day but yeah I don't know shit what I'm talking about. Was back in the day so shamans may not have figured the potion yet. But when it comes to depression, pull up a chair and take notes. I ain't a witchdoctor I just go to them for the drugs - seroquel, trazodone, escitalopram, paroxetine, buproion, and testosterone been berry berry good to me. Dammit it Jim, I'm a technologist not a Doctor.

He he. Big Grin

I know, it's all a mystery when you're looking in from the outside, but when you've been living with it, you learn quickly. It is true from what I know that some AS people can also suffer from other things, especially anxiety. But everyone's different.

"I don't mind being wrong...it's a time I get to learn something new..."
Me.
N.B: I routinely make edits to posts to correct grammar or spelling, or to restate a point more clearly. I only notify edits if they materially change meaning.
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02-01-2015, 04:07 PM
RE: Do I tell my son?
(02-01-2015 03:55 PM)gofish! Wrote:  
(02-01-2015 03:50 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Asperger man I work with was on Ritalin for years back in the day but yeah I don't know shit what I'm talking about. Was back in the day so shamans may not have figured the potion yet. But when it comes to depression, pull up a chair and take notes. I ain't a witchdoctor I just go to them for the drugs - seroquel, trazodone, escitalopram, paroxetine, buproion, and testosterone been berry berry good to me. Dammit it Jim, I'm a technologist not a Doctor.

He he. Big Grin

I know, it's all a mystery when you're looking in from the outside, but when you've been living with it, you learn quickly. It is true from what I know that some AS people can also suffer from other things, especially anxiety. But everyone's different.

I wonder where on the scale you have to fall to be immune to depression. At some point you don't even know what it means to be depressed. Somebody should bottle that shit.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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