Do Theists Believe God Has a Schlong?
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28-07-2012, 01:34 PM
RE: Does God Have A Penis?
(27-07-2012 06:21 PM)LadyJane Wrote:  So God created a vagina without even knowing what it's like to have one? Or I guess he does know, cuz he's all knowing. Imagine, knowing both. (I seriously never thought about that).


That would explain why it's such a nightmare down there. Like an abandoned subway tunnel covered by meat curtains that occasionally shoots blood. I think God tried to make an inverse penis and failed miserably.

As to the original question, Aquinas would argue that there are "better" and "worse" dongs. There exists a scale of dong quality and so there must be a "perfect dong" by which all other dongs are compared to, which we call God.....'s Dong.



Sidenote: Jesus was born into a Jewish family, and so was circumcised. And various religious (respected ones) organizations claimed to be in possession of the Holy Foreskin. According to the stories, the foreskin causes miracles to happen.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_Prepuce

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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28-07-2012, 03:26 PM
RE: Do Theists Believe God Has a Schlong?
I've asked this question before on my blog, and the theist reply is that we are made in God's image "spiritually" rather than "physically". Of course, this doesn't make a lot of sense, either. We have emotions that even Jesus isn't said to have felt, such as embarrassment and shame, guilt and cognitive dissonance, envy and lust. God doesn't worship or "feel the presence of God", yet he made us to do that. God doesn't sin and yet we do. In what way are we even like him "spiritually"? It's ludicrous no matter how you try to make sense of it.

My girlfriend is mad at me. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried cooking a stick in her non-stick pan.
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28-07-2012, 11:49 PM
RE: Does God Have A Penis?
(27-07-2012 06:21 PM)LadyJane Wrote:  So God created a vagina without even knowing what it's like to have one? Or I guess he does know, cuz he's all knowing. Imagine, knowing both. (I seriously never thought about that).

Kind of lends a pragmatic degree of accuracy to telling God to go fuck himself, huh? Wink

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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