Do you Believe that Jesus will Come back?
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14-09-2012, 07:07 AM
RE: Do you Believe that Jesus will Come back?
Is the OP still responding?

Anything I say is just as true as anything in the bible. And I can prove that is true because I just said it was true and the bible says that it is true so 2 truths can only mean truth^2 which makes anything I say super-true.

Having said that, Jesus is the chocolate bunny that graces so many young kids mouths every Easter. He has risen many times only to be consumed innumerable times by greedy little kids looking for a sugar rush. The Rapture is real but not in the bible, but also not as you describe. The Rapture will occur in 2015 with the release of Madden 2016 for the Xbox 1080-IQ. In it will be a code that once input into the former years Madden 2015 will cause a rip in space-time. This will not have a devastating effect, instead, it will cause our universe to merge with the My Little Pony Universe and all life in our Universe will live out the rest of eternity there, along with the Care Bears.

I have spoken

There will also be Lord Gwyneth Paltrow presiding over our new world.

“Science is simply common sense at its best, that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic.”
—Thomas Henry Huxley
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14-09-2012, 07:11 AM
RE: Do you Believe that Jesus will Come back?
(14-09-2012 07:07 AM)TheBeardedDude Wrote:  Is the OP still responding?

Anything I say is just as true as anything in the bible. And I can prove that is true because I just said it was true and the bible says that it is true so 2 truths can only mean truth^2 which makes anything I say super-true.

Having said that, Jesus is the chocolate bunny that graces so many young kids mouths every Easter. He has risen many times only to be consumed innumerable times by greedy little kids looking for a sugar rush. The Rapture is real but not in the bible, but also not as you describe. The Rapture will occur in 2015 with the release of Madden 2016 for the Xbox 1080-IQ. In it will be a code that once input into the former years Madden 2015 will cause a rip in space-time. This will not have a devastating effect, instead, it will cause our universe to merge with the My Little Pony Universe and all life in our Universe will live out the rest of eternity there, along with the Care Bears.

I have spoken

There will also be Lord Gwyneth Paltrow presiding over our new world.

I am giving up all my worldly possessions and forsaking my family to follow you.Bowing

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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14-09-2012, 07:15 AM
RE: Do you Believe that Jesus will Come back?
You must give them up to me though. Except your forks, they are of the devil and must be destroyed in a volcano. I HAVE SPOKEN!!!

“Science is simply common sense at its best, that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic.”
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14-09-2012, 08:40 AM
RE: Do you Believe that Jesus will Come back?
(14-09-2012 07:15 AM)TheBeardedDude Wrote:  You must give them up to me though. Except your forks, they are of the devil and must be destroyed in a volcano. I HAVE SPOKEN!!!

Render unto Beard that which is Beard's and unto the volcano that which is of the devil.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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14-09-2012, 08:44 AM
RE: Do you Believe that Jesus will Come back?
All hail the Beard.

“Science is simply common sense at its best, that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic.”
—Thomas Henry Huxley
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14-09-2012, 08:47 AM
RE: Do you Believe that Jesus will Come back?
Fork you Beard Boy. I will not fork over my life savings. You're a charlatan. The reason you want people to get rid of their forks is so that they can't fork up your little scheme, but I'm onto you. Skeptics will always be free!
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14-09-2012, 08:49 AM
RE: Do you Believe that Jesus will Come back?
(14-09-2012 08:47 AM)morondog Wrote:  Fork you Beard Boy. I will not fork over my life savings. You're a charlatan. The reason you want people to get rid of their forks is so that they can't fork up your little scheme, but I'm onto you. Skeptics will always be free!

Heretic! Fork the heretic! Into the volcano with them!Hobo

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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14-09-2012, 08:51 AM
RE: Do you Believe that Jesus will Come back?
Forget Jesus....Is the OP coming back?

I'll hail the Beard only if I get a cut of the loot, maybe my own sect to lead about and fleece....you know the real stuff religion has to offer. Smile

" Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."
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14-09-2012, 08:52 AM
RE: Do you Believe that Jesus will Come back?
Mine is a following of peace. I wish no harm upon the blasphemer. That is why we should end your suffering by slitting your wrists with the forks you hold so dear. A nice peaceful end to your heretical life. May you suffer an eternity in the Walker Texas Ranger universe.

“Science is simply common sense at its best, that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic.”
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14-09-2012, 08:55 AM
RE: Do you Believe that Jesus will Come back?
(14-09-2012 08:49 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(14-09-2012 08:47 AM)morondog Wrote:  Fork you Beard Boy. I will not fork over my life savings. You're a charlatan. The reason you want people to get rid of their forks is so that they can't fork up your little scheme, but I'm onto you. Skeptics will always be free!

Heretic! Fork the heretic! Into the volcano with them!Hobo

I never will understand you religious types. Don't you realise that by outlawing forking you're denying yourselves one of the greatest pleasures that there is? And anyway, *everyone* forks. You'll just make yourselves feel guilty and somehow dirty if you make it a crime, forking late at night when no one can see you. You should rather celebrate it.
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