Do you ever miss it?
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06-08-2015, 11:21 PM
RE: Do you ever miss it?
I've been thinking about this since I posted, and I have some insights (introspection is so fun!)

One of the issues I had, and one of the reason several clergy in town think I'm nutts, is that I would go to a Church for a few months, and then switch. These were Churches that were opposed to eachother, doctrinally. I even tried the Synagogue and Buddhist center. I finally figured out that the reason I couldn't commit to one was that I didn't actually believe. I've been a nonbeliever all along. I remember sitting in my pew as the priest talked nonsense and thinking "do these people really believe this?" I didn't allow myself to explore this feeling, though, as I was told that my lack of belief (or, rather, my highly efficient bullshit meter) was a sinful fault that I had to work on curbing.

All of my religious life, I was chasing a feeling. That's it. I never was logically or intellectually convinced of anything, and that's why I couldn't stay. As an atheist, I am logically and intellectually convinced that god is not real and religion is nonsense. I am building on my knowledge of reality by studying biology, and reading books about philosophy and science.

I've finally found my "credo" - objective truth is real. We arrive at objective truth by applying the scientific method. Objective truth cannot exist within religion, because then it wouldn't require "faith" - the purposeful suspension of critical thinking to accept something not only ineffable, but impossible.

It's been nice coming to that discovery. My therapist (also an atheist) was really proud of me this week about it, too. Smile
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06-08-2015, 11:38 PM
RE: Do you ever miss it?
I do in a way miss the old Southern Baptist church I ministered in. I regret the lies I told to children there, though at the time I believed them myself. I think if I were ever back in that area I would want to attend the church and not tell anyone there that I am an Atheist now. Or maybe I would tell them but attend anyway and not participate in any prayers and such. I don't miss anything about believing a lie though. What would be ideal would be for that old church to become secular and promote goodness of people over religious lies. The pastor Richard Fox was a great person, a very loving man, and a friend while I was there. I would still want to be friends with him today. I think we would be able to be friends despite the religious differences.

Did I mention it was a Southern Baptist church? One of the most fundamental of fundamental churches? That may be how Southern Baptist churches normally are but it wasn't how ours was. I'd been to enough to know that the view we would normally have of Southern Baptist churches are truly the norm and this one was an exception.
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