Do you fear death?
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01-01-2015, 09:49 PM
Do you fear death?
Hello my beautiful bunch of lovely loves! (Sorry, I'm drinking a margarita at the moment)

Ok, this is actually a serious topic for me, so put your serious faces on! So I have stopped fearing hell for a while now, but recently I've been fearing death. I've just been realizing how inevitable death is. I'm afraid of my life going by too fast or dying too young. I just love living and I can't imagine ever being ready to die!

Does anyone else deal with this fear? What do you do?

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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01-01-2015, 09:55 PM
RE: Do you fear death?
I don't fear death itself.

i fear that it might arrive earlier than I want, or in a painful, or traumatic way, or in an agonizing suffering way. Hopefully it will be quick and I won't know what hit me or I get a say in the matter or I lose my mind and don't know the difference.


And I worry about the impact my death will have on my children. I hope its when they are adukts and able to care for themselves and have families of their own and arent still "in need" of their mother, kwim?


but the actual death part...nah...


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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01-01-2015, 10:14 PM
RE: Do you fear death?
(01-01-2015 09:55 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  I don't fear death itself.
i fear that it might arrive earlier than I want, or in a painful, or traumatic way, or in an agonizing suffering way. Hopefully it will be quick and I won't know what hit me or I get a say in the matter or I lose my mind and don't know the difference.
And I worry about the impact my death will have on my children. I hope its when they are adukts and able to care for themselves and have families of their own and arent still "in need" of their mother, kwim?
but the actual death part...nah...

Yeah, I see your point. I'm worried about how my loved ones will grieve. I'm just afraid of not having life anymore. I'm afraid of not having a consciousness. As a Christian, I had anxiety and was scared of dying, but it was different. Now it's more like reality sinking in. It's just weird.

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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01-01-2015, 10:23 PM
RE: Do you fear death?
many people think about it in a way that seems easier to me.

where were you a 100 years before you were born? Were you aware? You were just nothing. Thats how many think death is like. you are nothing. and you won't be aware of it.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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01-01-2015, 10:33 PM
RE: Do you fear death?
I fear dying a slow, painful death. I've watched a lot of people die. Literally in the hundreds. I don't remember all of them. Last one was a few nights ago, he was in his thirties. It took weeks. I went into "his" empty room a few nights ago, it was the hit spot (if a rapid response/stat is called on specific floors they come to that bed), and I needed a pillow for my patient. It's sad meeting the wife, children, family....

The one before that was kinda fun - I like codes. That's the morbid part of my personality. In the end, everyone in the room agreed we did everything we could and that if we were to get her back, it wouldn't be conducive to a positive long term prognosis. So we stopped. She had been alert and talking right before she coded. That was a week ago (first code since I left the ED where I worked them daily... I was excited).

I had a post arrest a few weeks ago was a hypothermia alert - completely intact neurologically. He is expected to make a full recovery - in fact, he's probably sitting at home with his family right now after trying to die on Christmas.

Mercy is dying quickly. Those near instant deaths... I would hope to die an old woman of a massive stroke or heart attack or in a car accident where I never saw it coming.

What I do to people, prolong the inevitable, it kills a part of me... Long, slow, drawn out, just fucking smother me with a pillow.

I'm not worried about after I'm dead, anymore. I'm not gonna care when I'm gone, cause I'm not gonna exist.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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01-01-2015, 10:34 PM
RE: Do you fear death?
I'm very afraid of death. I tasted it, and it's a scary place to go. The truth is, most people die in pain, alone, or otherwise afraid and suffering. Not many of us get to go quietly in our sleep.

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01-01-2015, 10:35 PM
RE: Do you fear death?
(01-01-2015 10:33 PM)Nurse Wrote:  I fear dying a slow, painful death. I've watched a lot of people die. Literally in the hundreds. I don't remember all of them. Last one was a few nights ago, he was in his thirties. It took weeks. I went into "his" empty room a few nights ago, it was the hit spot (if a rapid response/stat is called on specific floors they come to that bed), and I needed a pillow for my patient. It's sad meeting the wife, children, family....

The one before that was kinda fun - I like codes. That's the morbid part of my personality. In the end, everyone in the room agreed we did everything we could and that if we were to get her back, it wouldn't be conducive to a positive long term prognosis. So we stopped. She had been alert and talking right before she coded. That was a week ago (first code since I left the ED where I worked them daily... I was excited).

I had a post arrest a few weeks ago who was a hypothermia alert - completely intact neurologically. He is expected to make a full recovery - in fact, he's probably sitting at home with his family right now after trying to die on Christmas. I use cases like that to stay positive about the work I do.

Mercy is dying quickly. Those near instant deaths... I would hope to die an old woman of a massive stroke or heart attack or in a car accident where I never saw it coming.

What I do to people, prolong the inevitable, it kills a part of me... Long, slow, drawn out, just fucking smother me with a pillow.

I'm not worried about after I'm dead, anymore. I'm not gonna care when I'm gone, cause I'm not gonna exist.

Dammit. Tried to edit my post to make it more readable. Instead edited and quoted. Ahh well.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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01-01-2015, 10:40 PM
RE: Do you fear death?
I am deathly afraid of death. It's because I love my family and life so much I don't want it to end.

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01-01-2015, 10:41 PM
RE: Do you fear death?
(01-01-2015 10:33 PM)Nurse Wrote:  I fear dying a slow, painful death. I've watched a lot of people die. Literally in the hundreds. I don't remember all of them. Last one was a few nights ago, he was in his thirties. It took weeks. I went into "his" empty room a few nights ago, it was the hit spot (if a rapid response/stat is called on specific floors they come to that bed), and I needed a pillow for my patient. It's sad meeting the wife, children, family....

The one before that was kinda fun - I like codes. That's the morbid part of my personality. In the end, everyone in the room agreed we did everything we could and that if we were to get her back, it wouldn't be conducive to a positive long term prognosis. So we stopped. She had been alert and talking right before she coded. That was a week ago (first code since I left the ED where I worked them daily... I was excited).

I had a post arrest a few weeks ago was a hypothermia alert - completely intact neurologically. He is expected to make a full recovery - in fact, he's probably sitting at home with his family right now after trying to die on Christmas.

Mercy is dying quickly. Those near instant deaths... I would hope to die an old woman of a massive stroke or heart attack or in a car accident where I never saw it coming.

What I do to people, prolong the inevitable, it kills a part of me... Long, slow, drawn out, just fucking smother me with a pillow.

I'm not worried about after I'm dead, anymore. I'm not gonna care when I'm gone, cause I'm not gonna exist.

It feels morbid to like this post, but you know what I mean.

My recent (wow, it's been two years this March) brush with death involved three "exciting hospital moments", one of which I was sort of conscious for. Most of what I remember is thinking "fuck why won't they leave me alone so I can die?" and just being terrified.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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01-01-2015, 10:45 PM
RE: Do you fear death?
(01-01-2015 10:34 PM)Stark Raving Wrote:  I'm very afraid of death. I tasted it, and it's a scary place to go. The truth is, most people die in pain, alone, or otherwise afraid and suffering. Not many of us get to go quietly in our sleep.

You had a NDE? Would you mind telling me what happened?

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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