Do you fear death?
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01-01-2015, 11:57 PM
RE: Do you fear death?
(01-01-2015 11:50 PM)Nurse Wrote:  Living will. Make sure you have one.

Make sure your family knows your wishes. Cause even your living will means shit when the family says "No! Do everything you can!" I don't think people understand what that entails. We can place a VAD to bypass your heart, we can do ECMO to bypass your lungs, we can do CRRT to bypass your kidneys when you're too unstable for hemodialysis. So how the fuck are you supposed to die?!?!?


When I do chest compressions, and I break your ribs, and I break your sternum, and I puncture your lungs, and you have brain damage from the lack of oxygen to your brain..... Make sure your family knows what you want. Make sure they know it's ok to let you go... If it is ok....


Some things are worse than death.

Hah! Screw the DNR. One chest compression, and my family is under strict orders to enter the hospital with a shotgun and put me down themselves.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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02-01-2015, 12:01 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
(01-01-2015 11:16 PM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  
(01-01-2015 11:03 PM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  I have no fear of death, only of the very probable possibility of dying in agony.

I used to fear death, and before that hell. I guess it's just a natural progression. Ask yourself this: are you really afraid of death itself, or of losing your worldly possessions? Possessions as in material, relationship , etc...

I think it's the worldly possessions I'm scared of losing. I enjoy life. I love being able to experience life, love my family, have fun, have goals and a future, and simply be.

Then think of death as your next* experience?


*not literally next, but you know what I mean

Atir aissom atir imon
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02-01-2015, 12:35 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
It's something everyone experiences. It's natural to die. I've had a couple of times in my life when death would have been preferable because I was so damn sick.

I always think of dying as the horrid part of things. After you're dead you simply don't exist anymore. Both my parents don't exist anymore so I don't think of them as being dead, just not in existence. I didn't exist for zillions of years neither did anyone else on this forum. How bad was it?

You exist or you don't exist.

This is probably a good time to post this.


You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.
And at one point you'd hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.

And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.

And you'll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they'll be comforted to know your energy's still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you're just less orderly. Amen.

-Aaron Freeman.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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02-01-2015, 12:38 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
(01-01-2015 09:49 PM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  Hello my beautiful bunch of lovely loves! (Sorry, I'm drinking a margarita at the moment)

Ok, this is actually a serious topic for me, so put your serious faces on! So I have stopped fearing hell for a while now, but recently I've been fearing death. I've just been realizing how inevitable death is. I'm afraid of my life going by too fast or dying too young. I just love living and I can't imagine ever being ready to die!

Does anyone else deal with this fear? What do you do?

I do not fear death itself. I fear the journey towards it.

I fear dying alone.

[Image: 0013382F-E507-48AE-906B-53008666631C-757...cc3639.jpg]
Credit goes to UndercoverAtheist.
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02-01-2015, 01:13 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
Not so much anymore. I used to. In the last three years, I had two close brushes with my own mortality. I'm not in any hurry to die, but I figure after the first, every day I had left was a freebie, and that allowed me to face the second with a zen-like acceptance.
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02-01-2015, 01:28 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
(01-01-2015 11:19 PM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  Sorry if I'm bumming everyone out with this subject! I've just been dealing with this a lot lately and I wanted to seek support. Unsure
No, this is THE topic. After all, fear of the finality of death is something that all of us as atheists have had to confront in a way that is unfamiliar to our theists brethren, and that has universally burdened mankind far more than any phobia.

I've been spending a lot of time on it lately as well and exploring its visceral anguish, as well as searching for a strange beauty in what is the ultimate expression of devotion and endearment. I feel like I'm on to something, for my own understanding.

I'll have more to say later as I'm currently trying to sort it out. Saw an interesting title in the bookstore today on the history of death in different cultures.

Wonderful conversation!
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02-01-2015, 01:34 AM (This post was last modified: 02-01-2015 01:50 AM by freetoreason.)
RE: Do you fear death?
In the meantime, my favorite poem, which provides an illustration of the difficulty we have in accepting its finality. The little girl's devotion to her siblings is heart-rending. Wordsworth, "We are seven"

———A simple Child,
That lightly draws its breath,
And feels its life in every limb,
What should it know of death?

I met a little cottage Girl:
She was eight years old, she said;
Her hair was thick with many a curl
That clustered round her head.

She had a rustic, woodland air,
And she was wildly clad:
Her eyes were fair, and very fair;
—Her beauty made me glad.

“Sisters and brothers, little Maid,
How many may you be?”
“How many? Seven in all,” she said,
And wondering looked at me.

“And where are they? I pray you tell.”
She answered, “Seven are we;
And two of us at Conway dwell,
And two are gone to sea.

“Two of us in the church-yard lie,
My sister and my brother;
And, in the church-yard cottage, I
Dwell near them with my mother.”

“You say that two at Conway dwell,
And two are gone to sea,
Yet ye are seven! I pray you tell,
Sweet Maid, how this may be.”

Then did the little Maid reply,
“Seven boys and girls are we;
Two of us in the church-yard lie,
Beneath the church-yard tree.”

“You run about, my little Maid,
Your limbs they are alive;
If two are in the church-yard laid,
Then ye are only five.”

“Their graves are green, they may be seen,”
The little Maid replied,
“Twelve steps or more from my mother’s door,
And they are side by side.

“My stockings there I often knit,
My kerchief there I hem;
And there upon the ground I sit,
And sing a song to them.

“And often after sun-set, Sir,
When it is light and fair,
I take my little porringer,
And eat my supper there.

“The first that dies was sister Jane;
In bed she moaning lay,
Till God released her of her pain;
And then she went away.

“So in the church-yard she was laid;
And, when the grass was dry,
Together round her grave we played,
My brother John and I.

“And when the ground was white with snow,
And I could run and slide,
My brother John was forced to go,
And he lies by her side.”

“How many are you, then,” said I,
“If they two are in heaven?”
Quick was the little Maid’s reply,
“O Master! we are seven.”

“But they are dead; those two are dead!
Their spirits are in heaven!”
’Twas throwing words away; for still
The little Maid would have her will,
And said, “Nay, we are seven!”
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02-01-2015, 01:45 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
(01-01-2015 11:57 PM)Stark Raving Wrote:  
(01-01-2015 11:50 PM)Nurse Wrote:  Living will. Make sure you have one.

Make sure your family knows your wishes. Cause even your living will means shit when the family says "No! Do everything you can!" I don't think people understand what that entails. We can place a VAD to bypass your heart, we can do ECMO to bypass your lungs, we can do CRRT to bypass your kidneys when you're too unstable for hemodialysis. So how the fuck are you supposed to die?!?!?


When I do chest compressions, and I break your ribs, and I break your sternum, and I puncture your lungs, and you have brain damage from the lack of oxygen to your brain..... Make sure your family knows what you want. Make sure they know it's ok to let you go... If it is ok....


Some things are worse than death.

Hah! Screw the DNR. One chest compression, and my family is under strict orders to enter the hospital with a shotgun and put me down themselves.

I told my family I'd haunt them as a damn poltergeist. Also told them if they think I'm leaving them on life support for shits and giggles they are seriously mistaken. Ain't got a problem pulling the plug. My problem is not respecting when someone wants to die - let them fucking die already. Don't wait until their flesh decays and they die of infection months later.

My (almost ex) husband told me once most people don't have my outlook on death. Maybe it's because I lost so many people in my formative years. My dad, great grandparents, grandmother (that was worst), aunts, uncles, cousins... before 15. Death is a part of life. And the fortunate few have their loved ones hold their hand when they last exhale. I've had to be that loved one for strangers a few times. The American system is so out of touch. Nursing homes sending DNRs to the ED so that the state won't investigate the death... Terminal cancer patients on hospice, family freaks when they are actively dying, call 911... Now they die in the cold artificial light of an emergency department. Arrgghhh.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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02-01-2015, 02:16 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
My quick answer is yes: I am shit scared.

I was close once and even without pain, the fear was like nothing I had experienced before. The nearest I can come is feeling that I was at the edge of a vast precipice where I could not see the bottom and know that I would have no choice but to jump. Nah, that's not even close.

I've always been intellectually unafraid of death but that fear was something primal and uncontrollable. I think the best you can hope for is to have someone holding your hand.

I was with my mother (a JW) as she died and that's what I did: talked to her, held her hand. She was scared too. I hope I helped her through.

"I don't mind being wrong...it's a time I get to learn something new..."
Me.
N.B: I routinely make edits to posts to correct grammar or spelling, or to restate a point more clearly. I only notify edits if they materially change meaning.
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02-01-2015, 03:10 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
I fear pain or suffering, not exactly death. or the afterlingers of death

"Allow there to be a spectrum in all that you see" - Neil Degrasse Tyson
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