Do you fear death?
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02-01-2015, 05:07 AM (This post was last modified: 02-01-2015 05:11 AM by GenericBox.)
RE: Do you fear death?
I don't think anyone is really afraid of the state of death -- but I'm afraid of death in that I'm not living.

People have said to me the logic posted earlier in this thread: "you weren't alive before you were born and you didn't fear it" -- yeah, but before I was born I hadn't experienced LIFE yet. Now that I've experienced LIFE I don't want to stop experience it.

I'm 25 and I've died 7 times now -- and I don't really know how to deal with it -- to the point where I often have nightmares about it (the most recent I was a little kid in a toy store and one of the toy soldiers morphs into the giant grim reaper who chases me around the store) -- and even to the point where I don't like going to sleep because the feeling of going unconscious reminds me too much of the feeling of dying.

I have a heart condition that puts my heart into Cardiac Arrest spontaneously. The first time I was 20 and at a train station, and dropped dead at 9am in the morning. Luckily someone started CPR and the paramedics got there relatively easy -- but apparently the odds are 50% from the moment you drop dead, then it took over 45 minutes of CPR (and they broke 3 ribs! Sad ) so the odds drop to like 15%, then I needed to be put into a Coma for a week, odds to 5% -- and then even then it's only 1% that you'll wake up without brain damage.

So hi, I'm a 1%er.

The last time I dropped dead was about 6 weeks ago -- in my office, on my office chair.

These days I know the feeling well enough to have about 8 seconds warning -- and that's the worst part. Those 8 seconds are pretty shit -- you go hypoxic (obviously without a beat your blood is no longer pumping) -- the current blood you do have in your system rushes back to the heart to help out -- meaning your stomach churns and your legs go weak, you can't breathe, (sometimes) you get that feeling of going to sleep and ... BAM! *shock* ... I wake up ... hopefully.

I have an ICD implanted that gives me a defibillator shock if it goes into Cardiac Arrest -- but what I fear is that one day it isn't going to work.

I'm going to drop dead and it's not going to be able to shock me back. What do you do when you know you may only have 8 seconds to live.

Yep, I'm afraid of dying Big Grin
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02-01-2015, 05:20 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
(02-01-2015 05:07 AM)GenericBox Wrote:  I don't think anyone is really afraid of the state of death -- but I'm afraid of death in that I'm not living.

People have said to me the logic posted earlier in this thread: "you weren't alive before you were born and you didn't fear it" -- yeah, but before I was born I hadn't experienced LIFE yet. Now that I've experienced LIFE I don't want to stop experience it.

I'm 25 and I've died 7 times now -- and I don't really know how to deal with it -- to the point where I often have nightmares about it (the most recent I was a little kid in a toy store and one of the toy soldiers morphs into the giant grim reaper who chases me around the store) -- and even to the point where I don't like going to sleep because the feeling of going unconscious reminds me too much of the feeling of dying.

I have a heart condition that puts my heart into Cardiac Arrest spontaneously. The first time I was 20 and at a train station, and dropped dead at 9am in the morning. Luckily someone started CPR and the paramedics got there relatively easy -- but apparently the odds are 50% from the moment you drop dead, then it took over 45 minutes of CPR (and they broke 3 ribs! Sad ) so the odds drop to like 15%, then I needed to be put into a Coma for a week, odds to 5% -- and then even then it's only 1% that you'll wake up without brain damage.

So hi, I'm a 1%er.

The last time I dropped dead was about 6 weeks ago -- in my office, on my office chair.

These days I know the feeling well enough to have about 8 seconds warning -- and that's the worst part. Those 8 seconds are pretty shit -- you go hypoxic (obviously without a beat your blood is no longer pumping) -- the current blood you do have in your system rushes back to the heart to help out -- meaning your stomach churns and your legs go weak, you can't breathe, (sometimes) you get that feeling of going to sleep and ... BAM! *shock* ... I wake up ... hopefully.

I have an ICD implanted that gives me a defibillator shock if it goes into Cardiac Arrest -- but what I fear is that one day it isn't going to work.

I'm going to drop dead and it's not going to be able to shock me back. What do you do when you know you may only have 8 seconds to live.

Yep, I'm afraid of dying Big Grin

Hug you're why I do what I do... Why I work so hard, when so many times it seems futile... Thanks for the reminder, 1%

Seriously, those few people who survive insurmountable odds... it makes it worth it. I like being able to death to fuck off for a while..

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Do you take meds for anxiety? If not... let your doctor know about your fears. Are you on a transplant list?

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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02-01-2015, 05:26 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
I also disagree with those that say "It's like going to sleep, you're not afraid of going to sleep". Well, that's because I expect to wake up again the next morning. Dying is perpetual, at least as far as we know eheh, so I fail to see the analogy.

I hate the idea of dying and in my transition to become an atheist, discovering that my eternal life was gone was a bit of a shock. Not for heaven, but the idea that I might not "survive" my death and live as a spirit. I realized that I would just stop existing, and to be honest I don't want to.

Many atheist say they're happy that their existence stops, but I never managed to agree with that line of thought. If forced eternity is hell, then forced death is no better either.

Damn you existence, at least let me choose!

孤独 - The Out Crowd
Life is a flash of light between two eternities of darkness.
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02-01-2015, 05:28 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
(02-01-2015 05:20 AM)Nurse Wrote:  
(02-01-2015 05:07 AM)GenericBox Wrote:  I don't think anyone is really afraid of the state of death -- but I'm afraid of death in that I'm not living.

People have said to me the logic posted earlier in this thread: "you weren't alive before you were born and you didn't fear it" -- yeah, but before I was born I hadn't experienced LIFE yet. Now that I've experienced LIFE I don't want to stop experience it.

I'm 25 and I've died 7 times now -- and I don't really know how to deal with it -- to the point where I often have nightmares about it (the most recent I was a little kid in a toy store and one of the toy soldiers morphs into the giant grim reaper who chases me around the store) -- and even to the point where I don't like going to sleep because the feeling of going unconscious reminds me too much of the feeling of dying.

I have a heart condition that puts my heart into Cardiac Arrest spontaneously. The first time I was 20 and at a train station, and dropped dead at 9am in the morning. Luckily someone started CPR and the paramedics got there relatively easy -- but apparently the odds are 50% from the moment you drop dead, then it took over 45 minutes of CPR (and they broke 3 ribs! Sad ) so the odds drop to like 15%, then I needed to be put into a Coma for a week, odds to 5% -- and then even then it's only 1% that you'll wake up without brain damage.

So hi, I'm a 1%er.

The last time I dropped dead was about 6 weeks ago -- in my office, on my office chair.

These days I know the feeling well enough to have about 8 seconds warning -- and that's the worst part. Those 8 seconds are pretty shit -- you go hypoxic (obviously without a beat your blood is no longer pumping) -- the current blood you do have in your system rushes back to the heart to help out -- meaning your stomach churns and your legs go weak, you can't breathe, (sometimes) you get that feeling of going to sleep and ... BAM! *shock* ... I wake up ... hopefully.

I have an ICD implanted that gives me a defibillator shock if it goes into Cardiac Arrest -- but what I fear is that one day it isn't going to work.

I'm going to drop dead and it's not going to be able to shock me back. What do you do when you know you may only have 8 seconds to live.

Yep, I'm afraid of dying Big Grin

Hug you're why I do what I do... Why I work so hard, when so many times it seems futile... Thanks for the reminder, 1%

Seriously, those few people who survive insurmountable odds... it makes it worth it. I like being able to death to fuck off for a while..

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Do you take meds for anxiety? If not... let your doctor know about your fears. Are you on a transplant list?

I'm not really that anxious anymore -- it's happened enough times now that it's become a regular "eh, he just be dying again".

The problem I guess I have with taking anti-anxiety meds (and maybe why I've never been prescribed?) is because the symptoms of anxiety are *exactly* the same as the symptoms of going into a cardiac arrest.

I had a period where I died 4 times in 4 weeks, and after that it shook me up abit. So over the following weeks I called the medical hotline (over here there is a non-emergency number you can call for advice) a few times, and as soon as you say:

"heart condition, history of cardiac arrest, sweaty palms, pins and needles" all they do is tell me to hang up immediately and call paramedics lol Smile

So I guess I'm almost anxious to use anxiety medication -- I wouldn't want it to mask any real symptoms.
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02-01-2015, 05:36 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
(02-01-2015 05:20 AM)Nurse Wrote:  I'm sorry you have to go through this. Do you take meds for anxiety? If not... let your doctor know about your fears. Are you on a transplant list?

It was only only about 7 weeks ago ( a week before I died again lol ) -- that they mentioned transplant.

Not a fun meeting with your doctor, 9am on a Monday morning: "Hi, we think you will need a transplant"

She said my heart probably only has 5 years or so left, which was tough to hear. But I went and saw the transplant team here and they are confident I don't need one for at least 2 years. So I am going from there.

I am from Australia living in London, and it turns out -- I can't get an English heart.

So puts me in an odd situation.
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02-01-2015, 05:41 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
(02-01-2015 05:28 AM)GenericBox Wrote:  
(02-01-2015 05:20 AM)Nurse Wrote:  Hug you're why I do what I do... Why I work so hard, when so many times it seems futile... Thanks for the reminder, 1%

Seriously, those few people who survive insurmountable odds... it makes it worth it. I like being able to death to fuck off for a while..

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Do you take meds for anxiety? If not... let your doctor know about your fears. Are you on a transplant list?

I'm not really that anxious anymore -- it's happened enough times now that it's become a regular "eh, he just be dying again".

The problem I guess I have with taking anti-anxiety meds (and maybe why I've never been prescribed?) is because the symptoms of anxiety are *exactly* the same as the symptoms of going into a cardiac arrest.

I had a period where I died 4 times in 4 weeks, and after that it shook me up abit. So over the following weeks I called the medical hotline (over here there is a non-emergency number you can call for advice) a few times, and as soon as you say:

"heart condition, history of cardiac arrest, sweaty palms, pins and needles" all they do is tell me to hang up immediately and call paramedics lol Smile

So I guess I'm almost anxious to use anxiety medication -- I wouldn't want it to mask any real symptoms.

It wouldn't mask the sweating, the chest discomfort... Those symptoms of impending cardiac arrest with I'm assuming v tach would be there even if you took a Xanax. You'd be more likely to recognize it as cardiac because you'd be chill and *know* it wasn't anxiety. Just a thought for you, if it becomes hard to cope...

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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02-01-2015, 05:51 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
As others have commented, we should make a distinction between death and dying.

My mom died of Parkinson's, a nasty business which kills you one little bit at a time over a decade or more. It would be crazy not to be afraid of such a thing.

So that's my fear. Not that I'll have a heart attack, or even get a fatal diagnosis. But that something will happen that will suddenly strip away any control I have over what happens next, and then whatever happens next will go on for years. Torture me, bankrupt my wife, maybe kill our relationship before it kills me, ugggh.

We should be clear none of us have a clue what death is.

Sure, the theists think they know, and many atheists do too, and all of us have some theory or another. But all of that's just a pile of fantasy knowings, the incurable need of human beings to have some kind of answer.

Once we become clear that none of us know what death is, and that there is exactly zero chance we can avoid it, new insights in to theism may arise.

Suppose, please forgive this example, we had a five year old child that was dying in the hospital. Would we tell them that soon they'll be a rotting pile of flesh in the ground? Probably not! That wouldn't be kind, nor would it be rational. We'd tell them whatever kind of story made it easier for them.

In the face of death, all of us, all of humanity, is that five year old child. That child is still there inside us, buried underneath all the many poses adults have to take on to function. As serious illness and death come, all those poses are stripped away one by one, and the fearful five year old returns to the surface.

For thousands of years, in every corner of the world, thoughtful, mature, caring rational people have realized that this five year old needs a story to help them through the transition too. Human beings need stories all throughout our lives, it's who we are.

And then some bureaucratic types come along and hijack the kind story and turn it in to a money/power machine, and that does indeed suck big time.

But the original impulse, the underlying bottom line, is entirely rational. We don't know, we can't avoid it, we are suffering, and a story will help. Rational.

The challenge for atheists is that, having discarded stories tested over centuries, they will have to create their own kind stories about death, AND find a way to believe them.

And that belief, in whatever story is created, will have to be fundamentally emotional in nature. Because when we're lying on our death bed terrified out of our minds, we won't be in the mood for math equations.
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02-01-2015, 05:53 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
Oops, I forgot an important one. I'm afraid my wife will get really sick, and little old selfish me won't be able to man up and meet the challenge head on, as it slowly destroys me too. Illness doesn't just happen to the person who is in the hospital.
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02-01-2015, 05:59 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
(02-01-2015 05:53 AM)Baba Bozo Wrote:  Illness doesn't just happen to the person who is in the hospital.

So true.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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02-01-2015, 06:03 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
(01-01-2015 09:49 PM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  Hello my beautiful bunch of lovely loves! (Sorry, I'm drinking a margarita at the moment)

Ok, this is actually a serious topic for me, so put your serious faces on! So I have stopped fearing hell for a while now, but recently I've been fearing death. I've just been realizing how inevitable death is. I'm afraid of my life going by too fast or dying too young. I just love living and I can't imagine ever being ready to die!

Does anyone else deal with this fear? What do you do?

Evolution involves fight and flight. There is a certain amount of healthy fear that allows evolution to occur. If we did not have it we would not, for example, look both ways when crossing the street.

Having said that, you still cannot stop death, anymore than you can stop the seasons changing. You cant be so obsessed with it to the point of it causing you emotional distress or depression.

I fear missing my loved ones and fear possible pain from a terminal illness. But I cant fear a non existent afterlife anymore than one fears their non existence prior to being born.

I fear more losing my mom more than anything. She is always my biggest supporter and the times when she has had health problems is always terrifying for me. She's in her early 80s so even small health issues can seem really big when you love someone that much.

For me, I hope I go suddenly to the point I don't have time to think about it. Outside that I don't really spend time worrying about what I cant stop.

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