Do you fear death?
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 5 Votes - 4.2 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
02-01-2015, 10:02 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
Like others here I do not fear being dead.

I do fear a long, lingering, death and being incapable of terminating my life.

I have a the proper will and hopefully the proper people assigned to make the call if I cannot.

Should I get forewarning, I will take care of it myself before the suffering gets too bad.

" Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."
David Hume
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 5 users Like KidCharlemagne1962's post
02-01-2015, 10:11 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
(02-01-2015 09:37 AM)Sam Wrote:  I'm not afraid of death itself, or being dead, but I am afraid of losing my life... If that makes sense. I love living, being conscious, experiencing the universe.

The idea that it can all just be taken from you in an instant is scary... But, it is irrational, because the dead don't know they are dead, and its not as if they will miss life. I don't know whether I would prefer to know I was dying months in advance, or just be struck down without warning. I suppose an argument can be made for each.

Its easy to try and imagine how you would react to the diagnosis of a terminal disease, but very often people react in completely unexpected ways... Many people have reported feeling euphoric after receiving the news. Not because the want to die, but because it forces them to live in the moment, and to savor every second of existence.

That absolutely makes sense. I totally get it. Smile
I've thought about how I'd like to react to a terminal illness, but there's really no telling how I'd react. In my weird morbid fantasies, I refuse chemo and radiation, and I bravely stick with herbal remedies even at the risk of death. And then I recover and other people with diseases follow the same herbal remedies and they get better too. Then it changes the world and I'm pretty much a hero.

And I get rich.

And I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. That's all. LOL Blush

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like LadyWallFlower's post
02-01-2015, 10:22 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
(02-01-2015 09:56 AM)Dom Wrote:  At no time will I allow myself to be at the mercy of strangers, lying in some hospital bed, being kept alive for more and more suffering. WTF is that? Who is going to benefit if you linger on a few more days? The hospital, that's who. Not you, and not your relatives, even though they are likely clinging to straws and waiting for miracles...

I understand that. I think it would be hard for me to not be emotional about that though. My husband says he would rather die than risk brain damage, suffer, or be dependent on me or anyone else. I totally understand and agree. However, I feel like if I let him die, I'd always wonder "what if..." What if he would've made a good recovery? I know that's selfish, but I've grieved for someone close to me and I've been through the "what if" stage. It's awful.

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
02-01-2015, 10:27 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
(02-01-2015 09:06 AM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  
(02-01-2015 08:36 AM)gofish! Wrote:  So getting back to the OP I am wondering if any of this is helping? I am conscious that my posts may not have made things better. Sad

Actually, they did help. The thing you posted about the best thing I can hope for is having someone to hold my hand when I'm dying was actually comforting. Because there is a pretty decent chance I won't be alone when I die.

Also, reading about the people who have been close to death and how scary it actually feels, gives more explanation (as if there weren't enough already) to why people make up pleasant stories about what happens after we die.

I am not usually hugely impressed with most mainstream cinema beyond simple entertainment, but I am put in mind of that scene in the movie "The Grey", when Liam Neeson's character guides a dying man through his passing after the plane crash, telling him exactly what's happening to him.

That's what I'd want.

"I don't mind being wrong...it's a time I get to learn something new..."
Me.
N.B: I routinely make edits to posts to correct grammar or spelling, or to restate a point more clearly. I only notify edits if they materially change meaning.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes gofish!'s post
02-01-2015, 10:28 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
(02-01-2015 10:11 AM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  
(02-01-2015 09:37 AM)Sam Wrote:  I'm not afraid of death itself, or being dead, but I am afraid of losing my life... If that makes sense. I love living, being conscious, experiencing the universe.

The idea that it can all just be taken from you in an instant is scary... But, it is irrational, because the dead don't know they are dead, and its not as if they will miss life. I don't know whether I would prefer to know I was dying months in advance, or just be struck down without warning. I suppose an argument can be made for each.

Its easy to try and imagine how you would react to the diagnosis of a terminal disease, but very often people react in completely unexpected ways... Many people have reported feeling euphoric after receiving the news. Not because the want to die, but because it forces them to live in the moment, and to savor every second of existence.

That absolutely makes sense. I totally get it. Smile
I've thought about how I'd like to react to a terminal illness, but there's really no telling how I'd react. In my weird morbid fantasies, I refuse chemo and radiation, and I bravely stick with herbal remedies even at the risk of death. And then I recover and other people with diseases follow the same herbal remedies and they get better too. Then it changes the world and I'm pretty much a hero.

And I get rich.

And I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. That's all. LOL Blush

Have a read about the guitarist Wilko Johnson from the band Dr Feelgood (he plays Ilyn Payne in Game of Thrones)... Two years ago he received a terminal diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. He had a euphoric reaction to it and spent months on a massive high. He should have been dead by the spring of last year, but it was found that his cancer was a very rare, slow growing type, and that it was operable after all. So they took it out, along with his entire pancreas, spleen, part if his stomach, liver, lung and intestine. He's now cancer free and planning a comeback tour.

[img]

via GIPHY

[/img]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Sam's post
02-01-2015, 10:35 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
I have to admit that in the early days of my atheism I did fear death. The idea of an afterlife in Heaven being replaced by an afterlife of nothing was disturbing to me. I took and take great comfort in Twain.
Quote:Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born—a hundred million years—and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together. There was a peace, a serenity, an absence of all sense of responsibility, an absence of worry, an absence of care, grief, perplexity; and the presence of a deep content and unbroken satisfaction in that hundred million years of holiday which I look back upon with a tender longing and with a grateful desire to resume, when the opportunity comes.

... as for the dying, however, I don't look forward to it. As for the leaving loved ones behind without me, all I can do is prepare them as best I can before I go.

Give me your argument in the form of a published paper, and then we can start to talk.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Hafnof's post
02-01-2015, 10:37 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
(02-01-2015 10:27 AM)gofish! Wrote:  I am not usually hugely impressed with most mainstream cinema beyond simple entertainment, but I am put in mind of that scene in the movie "The Grey", when Liam Neeson's character guides a dying man through his passing after the plane crash, telling him exactly what's happening to him.

That's what I'd want.

That was an awesome movie and an awesome scene.

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
02-01-2015, 10:40 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
(02-01-2015 10:22 AM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  
(02-01-2015 09:56 AM)Dom Wrote:  At no time will I allow myself to be at the mercy of strangers, lying in some hospital bed, being kept alive for more and more suffering. WTF is that? Who is going to benefit if you linger on a few more days? The hospital, that's who. Not you, and not your relatives, even though they are likely clinging to straws and waiting for miracles...

I understand that. I think it would be hard for me to not be emotional about that though. My husband says he would rather die than risk brain damage, suffer, or be dependent on me or anyone else. I totally understand and agree. However, I feel like if I let him die, I'd always wonder "what if..." What if he would've made a good recovery? I know that's selfish, but I've grieved for someone close to me and I've been through the "what if" stage. It's awful.

Dealing with someone else's death is a whole different ball game. It is not the same as dealing with your own death.

I have been in the situation you describe three times. First, a dear friend who appointed me to be the one to pull the plug for him. Thankfully, he was very clear about what he wanted and when, and the situation was very clear. I was in my early 30s then, and it did rock my world, but I was sure about having done the right thing - the thing HE wanted.

Second was my mom - I was a decade older and - hell - she was my mom! It was very traumatic because the hospital would not honor her wish to stop treatment. For some convoluted legal reasons she had to appoint me as guardian and have me state this as her wish. Again - a shock in my life, but, again,... I knew I had done the right thing. How could I possibly force my own mom to suffer against her will?

The third was my husband of 30 years - hardest thing I ever did. He had fought cancer and won - just to have a different type of cancer a bit later. He did insist on checking into the local hospital to have all conceivable tests done. The results were such that he decided to forgo treatment. The fight now was to get him out of the damn hospital and home where he could die in peace, without strangers poking at him at all hours. He wanted to be home, in his own bed, with me and his dog and no one else. After getting the run-around for days, he finally raised such a loud ruckus that they thought it better to let him go. And I won't get into details, it's a long story, but he did end up having a very peaceful death here, at home, in his bed, just like he wanted.

Other people's death is not about you. Yes, you are the one left behind and grieving. But, to me, making a loved one suffer against their will is a horrible thing to do. Especially if it's going to be the last of life they can taste.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 6 users Like Dom's post
02-01-2015, 10:40 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
(01-01-2015 09:49 PM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  Hello my beautiful bunch of lovely loves! (Sorry, I'm drinking a margarita at the moment)

Ok, this is actually a serious topic for me, so put your serious faces on! So I have stopped fearing hell for a while now, but recently I've been fearing death. I've just been realizing how inevitable death is. I'm afraid of my life going by too fast or dying too young. I just love living and I can't imagine ever being ready to die!

Does anyone else deal with this fear? What do you do?

We all fear death, because it is a natural violation of self preservation.

How can anyone become an atheist when we are all born with no beliefs in the first place? We are atheists because we were born this way.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Free's post
02-01-2015, 10:45 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
(02-01-2015 10:40 AM)Dom Wrote:  Other people's death is not about you. Yes, you are the one left behind and grieving. But, to me, making a loved one suffer against their will is a horrible thing to do. Especially if it's going to be the last of life they can taste.

Wow, that's very strong and selfless of you. To help my loved ones in that way when it's their time to go would be rewarding. Heart

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: