Do you fear death?
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02-01-2015, 11:00 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
(02-01-2015 10:40 AM)Free Wrote:  
(01-01-2015 09:49 PM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  Does anyone else deal with this fear? What do you do?

We all fear death, because it is a natural violation of self preservation.

^^^this is very much at play and I think it explains much of what Stark, Vosur and others have said in the beginning. Its an instinctual response, our body, physiologically speaking, doesnt want to die any more than what we have all stated in the thread. I think a body will fight and rush all the aldrenaline and such that it can in those final moments to stop it. Those with the NDE's have experienced their body going thru it. Its really is a fight or flight response and the very reason we all hope for it to be swift so we arent aware, even if its just a few moments.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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02-01-2015, 11:01 AM
RE: Do you fear death?
One of the things that bugs me about dying, but I have no intention of doing anything about, is how everybody is socially required to be sad around a pending or completed death, and view the event as a tragedy etc.

The dying person is probably already feeling like a victim, and then everybody gathers around and in one way or another communicates...

"You are a victim, you are a victim, you are a victim, this is so tragic, so bad for you, so sorry this sucks so much" and so on.

I never get in the way of any of this, and in every event I've been involved in I always melt in to the background and cede control to anybody who wants it.

But it still quietly bugs me.

What if none of these assumptions about death are true? What if the person is poised to go upon the most glorious adventure they've ever known? Why do we feel compelled to shove our negative fantasy knowings in their face, at their moment of greatest weakness?

Sickness is a bummer. But dying? Who the fuck knows?
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02-01-2015, 11:01 AM
Re: Do you fear death?
I'm typing this on my phone, so it will be an incomplete thought.

Not afraid of death itself, since as an organic being, I have to. I've been close to death and technically dead many times. The first time was at 15 months old. I dread the dying part, not death itself.

I have a living will and discussed it with family. In many cases, I'm DNR. My mother worked at a hospital for decades. She told me about the time she was on a code for an elderly lady whose family refused DNR. As my mother did compressions she could feel her ribs and sternum break.

When my father died, we don't know if he was conscious. What we did know were his wishes so there was no agonizing over turning the machines off. I fear going out like him and knowing what's going on.

No. Just no.

I don't have kids, so I don't worry about how they feel.
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02-01-2015, 12:05 PM
RE: Do you fear death?
(02-01-2015 11:01 AM)Baba Bozo Wrote:  One of the things that bugs me about dying, but I have no intention of doing anything about, is how everybody is socially required to be sad around a pending or completed death, and view the event as a tragedy etc.

The dying person is probably already feeling like a victim, and then everybody gathers around and in one way or another communicates...

"You are a victim, you are a victim, you are a victim, this is so tragic, so bad for you, so sorry this sucks so much" and so on.

I never get in the way of any of this, and in every event I've been involved in I always melt in to the background and cede control to anybody who wants it.

But it still quietly bugs me.


This I have to agree with. People make the dying miserable. My husband specifically asked not to have relatives there for that reason. It alienated some of his relatives, but heck, he had a right to spend the rest of his short life any way he wanted. And he didn't want sobbing and platitudes. He wanted peace.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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02-01-2015, 03:02 PM (This post was last modified: 02-01-2015 03:05 PM by yakherder.)
RE: Do you fear death?
Philosophically, I don't fear death. In other words, the idea of dying, even painfully, doesn't bother me. That said, any time I've been in a situation where death is a possible result, fear, as an unavoidable physiological response to a perceived threat, happens. The adrenaline rush immediately preceding the beginning of a situation where you know you might die is unlike any other experience. Even activities typically loved by the stereotypical adrenaline junkie don't compare, because deep down your mind knows the difference.

Ironically, people who I've seen die (assuming they saw it coming), didn't end up being afraid of death in and of itself. At the moment of reckoning, so to speak, people tend to stop being afraid and are more worried about friends, family, ending the pain, making sure the cat is fed, clearing the porno off their phone before their loved ones go through it, etc. The things people worry about prior to death is almost comical sometimes, in a dark humor sort of way.

'Murican Canadian
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02-01-2015, 04:10 PM
RE: Do you fear death?
Being dead doesn't scare me, how I get dead does a little.
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02-01-2015, 04:13 PM
RE: Do you fear death?
(02-01-2015 09:51 AM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  I feel the same way! I like existing too, lol. That's why part of me hopes I become a ghost when I die. Not like a scary ghost. Like the ghosts off of Harry Potter. Wink


Just promise me we get to scare someone once in a while if we meet as ghosts. Big Grin

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Life is a flash of light between two eternities of darkness.
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02-01-2015, 05:10 PM
RE: Do you fear death?
I use to fear death a lot when I was a young christian and thought about it so much. Since becoming an atheist one thing that has stood out to me on death specifically afterlife is that I wouldn't want that anyway. Just going on forever and ever? I'd rather have an end to my life at some point. I meant that's what makes life so valuable for me. Knowing that eventually it is going to end and that I should actually live my life instead of in constant fear of where my "soul" will end up for an eternity. So to answer the question no I do not fear death and when it comes I will embrace it.
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02-01-2015, 09:01 PM
RE: Do you fear death?
(02-01-2015 08:31 AM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  
(02-01-2015 07:56 AM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  I posted the song of this a while back...

Hm, I don't remember seeing that. What thread is it in? I'd like to hear that.

I don't remember where (or maybe I didn't and I'm just crazy). I do know I send this video to people that are having a hard time with loss.




Atir aissom atir imon
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02-01-2015, 09:03 PM
RE: Do you fear death?
(02-01-2015 09:28 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(02-01-2015 06:53 AM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  A poem I read not too long ago that I thought was beautiful:

Do not stand at my grave and weep
by Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep:
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starshine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry:
I am not there; I did not die.




Just realized you beat me to it. Oops.

Atir aissom atir imon
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