Do you think a funeral/ceremony/burial for the dead is important?
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22-05-2014, 03:13 PM
Do you think a funeral/ceremony/burial for the dead is important?
I'm asking because my cousin recently passed away, and left behind no insurance and her kids are deadbeats and can't afford anything. Her parents have also died and so did her husband. She basically has nobody to take care of her last bills.

I was not close with this cousin at all. I liked her and wanted to be close to her, but she basically rejected everyone in the family unless you did stuff for her. She was a user and it was always about her.

But now we are faced with a bill and we don't know what to do - should we go the cheap route and cremate her or give her a proper service/burial/funeral?

I feel tormented by it and I'm wondering why. As an atheist I know that she is dead and she is not anywhere, she's just non-existence now and the only thing left is her body. But she was still a human being and I feel like she should have a proper send off. But is the send off for her or is it for us to feel better? Does it matter?

I feel gross asking this question - but for the first time ever I find myself wondering about it.
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22-05-2014, 04:42 PM
RE: Do you think a funeral/ceremony/burial for the dead is important?
(22-05-2014 03:13 PM)dani23 Wrote:  I'm asking because my cousin recently passed away, and left behind no insurance and her kids are deadbeats and can't afford anything. Her parents have also died and so did her husband. She basically has nobody to take care of her last bills.

I was not close with this cousin at all. I liked her and wanted to be close to her, but she basically rejected everyone in the family unless you did stuff for her. She was a user and it was always about her.

But now we are faced with a bill and we don't know what to do - should we go the cheap route and cremate her or give her a proper service/burial/funeral?

I feel tormented by it and I'm wondering why. As an atheist I know that she is dead and she is not anywhere, she's just non-existence now and the only thing left is her body. But she was still a human being and I feel like she should have a proper send off. But is the send off for her or is it for us to feel better? Does it matter?

I feel gross asking this question - but for the first time ever I find myself wondering about it.

Did she leave a will and name you executor? The burden falls on the next of kin -- which by law is her children.

Now, if you do care I would go with cremation and scattering the ashes. Many funeral directors or Neptune society handles it all. No one has to be there for it -- they handle the scattering. No service needed.

Welcome to the forums. Smile


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And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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22-05-2014, 04:50 PM
RE: Do you think a funeral/ceremony/burial for the dead is important?
I don't think a burrial or any kind of ritual is important. You can do a cremation,wich is cheaper,or donate the body to science,wich is free methinks

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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22-05-2014, 05:22 PM
RE: Do you think a funeral/ceremony/burial for the dead is important?
Doesn't matter to her. The ceremony's for you and can be helpful if you were close and feel like you need some kind of closure, it seems as though this is not the case.

Are you taking on responsibility for her offspring? Would it help them to cope?

"While religions tell us next to nothing useful or true about the universe, they do tell us an enormous amount - perhaps an embarrassing amount - about ourselves, about what we value, fear and lust after." Iain M Banks
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22-05-2014, 05:25 PM
RE: Do you think a funeral/ceremony/burial for the dead is important?
Ritual is important to help the people that still live find closure and start to move on.

However it doesnt have to follow a standard. Do what you can do. If its anything at all.
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22-05-2014, 05:35 PM
RE: Do you think a funeral/ceremony/burial for the dead is important?
It means more to those who cared about her, but I would follow her will and last wishes if it can be afforded. If anyone tried to throw me a christian funeral I think I would hire some hitmen, before my death, to do them in for going against my will. If there isn't a will or money, then people just have to do their best with what they know about her and what they can afford.

Good luck and sorry for your loss.

A wise person makes their own decisions; an ignorant one follows public opinion.
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22-05-2014, 05:43 PM
RE: Do you think a funeral/ceremony/burial for the dead is important?
Depends on the person. I mean when I die I want my body to be buried by a river so hopefully I can become a fossil for science. If the person in question asked to be buried before they died, then bury them. Also welcome have a seal.

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22-05-2014, 06:06 PM
RE: Do you think a funeral/ceremony/burial for the dead is important?
After I'm dead, I won't mind being buried, cremated, put in the rubbish, fed to the pigs or being used in some ingenious way. In fact, if I can be useful after my death, that sounds better than being uselessly buried or cremated.

I am afraid I cannot give you advice on your situation because only you really know your feelings towards your cousin, but I thank you for posting your problem because I hadn't thought of that. Now I can go to my cousins and let them know that I'd prefer being put in black rubbish bag rather than a fancy coffin.

I'm sorry for your loss.
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22-05-2014, 06:20 PM
RE: Do you think a funeral/ceremony/burial for the dead is important?
(22-05-2014 03:13 PM)dani23 Wrote:  But now we are faced with a bill and we don't know what to do - should we go the cheap route and cremate her or give her a proper service/burial/funeral?

What would disappoint me, not that I'd be capable of being disappointed anymore, is if ManlyGirl and our 4 Fucktards didn't try to dispose of my sorry ass for as cheap as possible. Hell if it was legal they oughtta sell my organs. (The liver and kidnies are world class resilient.)

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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22-05-2014, 06:48 PM
Do you think a funeral/ceremony/burial for the dead is important?
Funerals are for the living, Not the dead.
Do whatever you feel you need to do for you to be at peace with it. You're the one paying for it.
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