Do you think a funeral/ceremony/burial for the dead is important?
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23-05-2014, 07:43 AM
RE: Do you think a funeral/ceremony/burial for the dead is important?
As others have posted, funerals are for the living rather than the dead. It would be nice to think that what you are doing is in line with the deceased last wishes, but certainly where I live cremation is considered very much a normal and expected option. It's not a cheap option - burial is a kind of weird rich person option. It depends on the social and religious context you are working with as to whether that will be the view of your own community. Traditionally Catholic-influenced areas I think have been fairly big on burial while protestant-influenced areas have been more inclined toward cremation[1]. Now at least officially I think Catholics allow the practice[2] though it may be more frowned on in catholic-influenced communities. Other religions and their related communities may have different standards and ideals here.

[1] http://www.religioustolerance.org/crematio.htm
[2] http://www.americancatholic.org/newslett...ac1097.asp

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23-05-2014, 07:45 AM
RE: Do you think a funeral/ceremony/burial for the dead is important?
The catholic church does allow cremations, but lots of catholics do not know that. The church also allows for scattering of the ashes, they do not need to be entombed, catholics do not know that either.
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23-05-2014, 08:44 AM
RE: Do you think a funeral/ceremony/burial for the dead is important?
I wonder how much your relationship, or potential relationship with her children is playing on your mind? Cremation is valid, my family have done it for generations. My mother hated the idea of having a gravestone, it depressed her. She thought it would cause guilt and anxiety in the living once it inevitably fell in to dilapidation. ... Anyway, do what you feel is right, deadbeats or not, it might be a nice gesture in the name of family for you to help out. If not, they may not appreciate it and you can walk with a clear conscience.

Whatever you decide, good luck and welcome to the forum! Smile

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23-05-2014, 08:57 AM
RE: Do you think a funeral/ceremony/burial for the dead is important?
Basically whatever you do is for yourself. If you feel like doing something for her kids, it's for them, if they even want it.

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23-05-2014, 09:43 AM
RE: Do you think a funeral/ceremony/burial for the dead is important?
(22-05-2014 03:13 PM)dani23 Wrote:  should we go the cheap route and cremate her or give her a proper service/burial/funeral?

Cremation and having a memorial service aren't mutually exclusive options. Also a memorial service doesn't have to be expensive. You could have a private memorial where her relatives and friends simply get together and share their memories of her. You don't need to spend a lot of money on a preacher or a funeral home.

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23-05-2014, 10:46 AM
RE: Do you think a funeral/ceremony/burial for the dead is important?
(22-05-2014 03:13 PM)dani23 Wrote:  I'm asking because my cousin recently passed away, and left behind no insurance and her kids are deadbeats and can't afford anything. Her parents have also died and so did her husband. She basically has nobody to take care of her last bills.

What Moms said about an executer ... yes, they need to take care of all bills and funeral. If no one like that has been designated and it really does fall to you, find out with each creditor if there was a death clause in the arrangement. (my credit card(s) will be paid if I die)

Funeral homes can help arrange the least costliest - which I think would be cremation, but it can still run into the thousands. Also, the funeral home can order death certificates and get you a deal... getting one later is a bitch, FYI. You will need a certificate for each creditor, bank, hospital, etc.,. .. have them order a dozen up front - it makes things go easier.

You may think there is no insurance... but you might be surprised to find something in a few months. (My Dad failed to mention quite a few things) If possible, dig through her papers and personal shit... you never know what might turn up.

Also, depending on what state you live in, probate might want to take their cut. If no will was ever previously filed... finding one in her personal papers will then have to go through probate... it could take a long while for you to be reimbursed for any funeral expenses you might lay out.

If her kids are deadbeats then maybe they need to do something for once in their lives.

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23-05-2014, 02:25 PM
RE: Do you think a funeral/ceremony/burial for the dead is important?
I don't really agree with burials. It just gives more money to the religious institutions and is way more expensive than it needs to be.

If I cannot be saved through technology. I want my ashes shot into outer space heading towards a black hole or another galaxy where I can be scattered among the stars or turned into a singularity.


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26-05-2014, 07:45 PM
RE: Do you think a funeral/ceremony/burial for the dead is important?
Why have you taken on this financial responsibility when it isn't your's. She may have left life insurance for her children or even had insurance to cover her burial/cremation. I don't imagine her children will let on if she did.
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