Doc's Ebonic Sunday skoo, foo'
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16-04-2013, 11:42 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
Full Circle: Hey Doc, what's with the authors of the bible and arithmetic? Was it 10 commandments or 613? 77 or 75 names ? 42 or 41 on the list? Fuggedabouit...let's go back to the virgins, do we get 72 or what?

Doc (beaming): I'm glad you asked, m'boy. What can we make of Matthew's obsession with the numbers 14 and 42 in his genealogy? When we look at the names in the second and third groups of 14 and compare them with the lists from the other sources, we see immediately that Matthew omitted some names to make the numbers fit, suggesting that there was something compelling about the numbers 14 and 42.

Conservative scholars have a very simple answer. Numerology. William Hendrickson, in his New Testament Commentary on this portion, cites the perfection of the numbers 3 and 4, which together make 7, twice which is 14, thrice which is 42, which in turn is 6 X 7, following which is the seventh 7, the fulfillment of all.

Full circle (mouth agape and drooling out the side of his mouth): Gah?
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16-04-2013, 12:32 PM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
Doc, what about all the numbers in revelations are they all magic. And doc I still want to be taught about Job. Like I said before all I can remember is god screwed him and he liked it.
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16-04-2013, 02:30 PM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(16-04-2013 12:32 PM)JAH Wrote:  Doc, what about all the numbers in revelations are they all magic. And doc I still want to be taught about Job. Like I said before all I can remember is god screwed him and he liked it.

Doc: Come to my arms! A student who asks to be taught! Without further ado, then, let's turn to In Job 1:6, where we read that Satan came to heaven one day to pay his respects to God. He was apparently on intimate enough terms with God to place a friendly wager as to the conduct of Job if God were to remove his protection from Job. With God's permission, Satan proceeds to destroy Job's life by killing all 10 of his children and by having all his (Job's) possessions stolen.

A few days later, Satan pays a SECOND visit to heaven and on having Job extolled to him by God, places a second wager with God as to Job's fidelity if his health was affected. With God's permission, Satan afflicts Job with sores. Through all his trials, Job refuses to repudiate God, thereby validating God's trust in his loyalty. Job is the model of patience we are all to follow today.

JAH: Speaking of Job, may I ask you a question? What was the point of the wager between God and Satan? If God is omniscient, wouldn't he already know that Job would be faithful regardless of the circumstances?

Doc: Maybe God was trying to show Satan what a faithful servant he had in Job?

JAH: To what purpose? Satan was not likely to do anything good or useful with that piece of knowledge, was he?

Doc: Maybe God was trying to teach Job a valuable life lesson?

JAH (in disbelief): By killing his children??

Doc: But it came out alright in the end, though. See, God gave Job 10 brand new children to make up for his loss!

JAH (sarcastically): No doubt that was a great consolation to Job and he soon forgot his original 10 children.

Doc (enthusiastically): Yes! Mr. Christopher Hutchins said it best, "Is not God great?", although, for some reason, his syntax was off and he forgot the question mark.
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17-04-2013, 06:14 AM (This post was last modified: 17-04-2013 08:01 AM by docskeptic.)
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
Doc: In all the excitement, I forgot to review the last question on our recent quiz. The question was "On what day of the week was Jesus crucified?"

Chas (tersely): What kind of question is that? Everyone knows that Jesus died on a Friday. That's why we celebrate Good Friday.

Doc: You are correct. Matthew 26:17-19, Mark 14:12-16, and Luke 22:7-16 are all explicit in mentioning that Jesus celebrated the Passover meal on the Day of Unleavened Bread, that is, some time after sundown on Thursday evening. The next day, that is, Friday, he was crucified.

Chas: But the question originally read, "According to John 18:28, on what day of the week was Jesus crucified?" You even hinted that the day did not begin with the letter "F".

Doc (embarrassed): Yes, well, you see, I neglected to proofread the questions after I set the test. And the answer is not "Viernes", looking disapprovingly at Cardinal Smurf. I looked that up. That is simply the Spanish word for "Friday".

Chas: I read that portion. John says that after Jesus was arrested, the Jews "did not enter the governor's headquarters, so that they would not be defiled, but could eat the Passover." Moreover, John 19:14 explicitly says that Pilate presented the scourged Jesus to the Jews at noon on "the day of Preparation of Passover Week" after which he was crucified. How could Jesus have eaten the Passover, but the Jews had not? Would this not mean that Jesus died on Thursday?

Doc: No, no, no, no, no! Scholars say that Jesus, like the Pharisees, celebrated Passover on Thursday, while the Sadducees (the "Jews" in John 18:28) celebrated it on Friday.

Chas: But there is no historical backing for such a statement. Isn't it more likely that John got confused about his dates? We should be celebrating Good Thursdays rather than Good Fridays and our weekends would be different.

Doc (sulkily): Yeah, well, TGIT does not have quite the same ring to it, does it?
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17-04-2013, 06:50 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(16-04-2013 02:30 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  Doc: But it came out alright in the end, though. See, God gave Job 10 brand new children to make up for his loss!

JAH (sarcastically): No doubt that was a great consolation to Job and he soon forgot his original 10 children.

I just want to make sure I understand this properly: In an allegorical story The Dude makes a bet with Lucifer that this one poor schmuck would stay true to The Dude no matter how much water boarding he had to endure? And the reward was more schtupping? Really Shocking

Really Drooling

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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17-04-2013, 12:05 PM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
OK, kids, time to take a break from learning and have some fun. I brought a puzzle along that I found in my 5 year old nephew's Sunday School workbook (for real!). The attached maze-type puzzle is based on 2 Kings 2:24, which tells the story of Elisha. He got mad at some children who called him a bald-head. He cursed them and God sent two she-bears who killed 42 of the children.

The moral of this story is that no criticism of God, his elected or his church will be tolerated, be it ever so innocent.

Have fun! And, houseofcantor, don't eat the crayons this time, please.

Doc


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17-04-2013, 01:17 PM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(17-04-2013 06:14 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Doc: In all the excitement, I forgot to review the last question on our recent quiz. The question was "On what day of the week was Jesus crucified?"

Chas (tersely): What kind of question is that? Everyone knows that Jesus died on a Friday. That's why we celebrate Good Friday.

Doc: You are correct. Matthew 26:17-19, Mark 14:12-16, and Luke 22:7-16 are all explicit in mentioning that Jesus celebrated the Passover meal on the Day of Unleavened Bread, that is, some time after sundown on Thursday evening. The next day, that is, Friday, he was crucified.

Chas: But the question originally read, "According to John 18:28, on what day of the week was Jesus crucified?" You even hinted that the day did not begin with the letter "F".

Doc (embarrassed): Yes, well, you see, I neglected to proofread the questions after I set the test. And the answer is not "Viernes", looking disapprovingly at Cardinal Smurf. I looked that up. That is simply the Spanish word for "Friday".

Chas: I read that portion. John says that after Jesus was arrested, the Jews "did not enter the governor's headquarters, so that they would not be defiled, but could eat the Passover." Moreover, John 19:14 explicitly says that Pilate presented the scourged Jesus to the Jews at noon on "the day of Preparation of Passover Week" after which he was crucified. How could Jesus have eaten the Passover, but the Jews had not? Would this not mean that Jesus died on Thursday?

Doc: No, no, no, no, no! Scholars say that Jesus, like the Pharisees, celebrated Passover on Thursday, while the Sadducees (the "Jews" in John 18:28) celebrated it on Friday.

Chas: But there is no historical backing for such a statement. Isn't it more likely that John got confused about his dates? We should be celebrating Good Thursdays rather than Good Fridays and our weekends would be different.

Doc (sulkily): Yeah, well, TGIT does not have quite the same ring to it, does it?


Meh, needs more terse.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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17-04-2013, 04:31 PM
DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(17-04-2013 12:05 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  OK, kids, time to take a break from learning and have some fun. I brought a puzzle along that I found in my 5 year old nephew's Sunday School workbook (for real!). The attached maze-type puzzle is based on 2 Kings 2:24, which tells the story of Elisha. He got mad at some children who called him a bald-head. He cursed them and God sent two she-bears who killed 42 of the children.

The moral of this story is that no criticism of God, his elected or his church will be tolerated, be it ever so innocent.

Have fun! And, houseofcantor, don't eat the crayons this time, please.

Doc

Those bears must have had their paws full. 21 kids each? Time to buy a couple extra garage freezers.
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17-04-2013, 04:45 PM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(17-04-2013 12:05 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  I brought a puzzle along that I found in my 5 year old nephew's Sunday School workbook (for real!).

I'm calling bullshit on this one. I understand Poe's law -- someone out there is so religious that they could make such a maze with all seriousness -- but I can't see a typical Sunday School teacher being cool with this. That story is a bit embarrassing for Christianity for a number of reasons, and no amount of cognitive dissonance will make people see the bear attack as a positive thing. When I was a Christian, stories of God's rampaging murder-rages were a necessary evil at best.

My girlfriend is mad at me. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried cooking a stick in her non-stick pan.
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17-04-2013, 04:56 PM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(17-04-2013 12:05 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  OK, kids, time to take a break from learning and have some fun. I brought a puzzle along that I found in my 5 year old nephew's Sunday School workbook (for real!). The attached maze-type puzzle is based on 2 Kings 2:24, which tells the story of Elisha. He got mad at some children who called him a bald-head. He cursed them and God sent two she-bears who killed 42 of the children.

The moral of this story is that no criticism of God, his elected or his church will be tolerated, be it ever so innocent.

Have fun! And, houseofcantor, don't eat the crayons this time, please.

Doc

Um Doc I'm at a bit of a quandary here. The killing of an entire village worth of children by use of the beasts of the earth seems much more like witchcraft than the holy spirit. Weren't women in medieval times who communed with wild animals nearly always burned as witches?

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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