Doc's Ebonic Sunday skoo, foo'
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06-06-2013, 11:16 AM (This post was last modified: 06-06-2013 01:05 PM by docskeptic.)
RE: DOC'S CANNIBALISITC SUNDAY SCHOOL (FEASTING ON GOD'S WORD)
Doc: Alright, class, time to resume our studies on heroes of the Bible. We will go back to Abraham. You will remember that he was called a friend of God for his godly behavior.

Bucky Ball: This is the same Abraham that slept with his wife's Egyptian slave Hagar, is it? In Genesis 16:2, we read that "(Sarai) said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.”

Doc, gulping: Ah, yes. God must have meant for that to happen because he told Abraham that Hagar's son, Ishmael would become a great prince of men.

Bucky: Hmm. In the same chapter, in verse 4b-6, we read the following,"When (Hagar) knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress. Then Sarai said to Abram, “You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my slave in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the Lord judge between you and me.” “Your slave is in your hands,” Abram said. “Do with her whatever you think best.” Then Sarai mistreated Hagar; so she fled from her." Does this sound like the action of a hero?

Doc, sweating: But God meant for that to happen too. He met Hagar in the wilderness and promised her that Ishmael would have many descendants. So Hagar returned to Sarai.

Bucky: Just 14 years later, Isaac was born to Sarai, now named Sarah. One day, when Isaac was 2 or 3 years old, Ishmael made fun of him. For this heinous offence, Sarah said to Abraham, "Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac.” Therefore, in Gen. 21:14 we read that Abraham "took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy. She went on her way and wandered in the Desert of Beersheba."

This man sent off a woman and his first born teenaged son into the desert with a little bit of food and water knowing that they would almost certainly die, because his wife commanded him to. Can a cowardly, hen-pecked husband be a hero of the Bible?

Doc: Why not? Hosea was.
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07-06-2013, 11:45 AM
RE: DOC'S HEURISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE'RE NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS)
Bucky: Doc, remember we were talking about Abraham impregnating Hagar at the behest of his wife? Did Hagar have any say in the matter?

Doc: Well, seeing as she was Sarah’s slave, I would say not.

Bucky: Nowadays, we call that rape. And consider the case of Jacob, Abraham’s grandson. He was tricked into marrying Leah although he really wanted to marry Leah’s sister Rachel. He had to serve his father-in-law Laban for seven years after marrying Leah to be able to marry Rachel.

Doc: Gosh. He must have really loved Rachel.

Bucky: Apparently. Anyway, when Leah saw that she was despised by Jacob, she was distressed. However, she bore him three sons and thought that Jacob would love her for her children’s sake. When that did not work and seeing that she had stopped conceiving, she gave her maid Zilpah as a wife to Jacob and had him impregnate her (Genesis 30). Nothing daunted, Rachel, unable to conceive herself, gave her maid Bilhah as a wife to Jacob and he impregnated her as well. Eventually, even Rachel conceived and bore Jacob two sons. My question is, how can one woman give another to a man “as his wife”? In these cases, did the maids have any choice in the matter or were they raped as well?

Doc: Oh, I don’t know if I would phrase it as strongly as that!

Bucky: I always call a spade a spade.
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07-06-2013, 11:54 AM
RE: DOC'S HEURISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE'RE NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS)
Bucky: I always call a spade a spade.

The problem with "heuristic", is that I STILL have not been miraculously cured of my lithp. And you're NOT helping.

Actually, I need to look at that whole "who's having who's baby", and why and who gets passed around, and which tradition it came from (J or E). No doubt it will all come down to the Northern kingdom hating the Southern kingdom ... but I need ta figgure it out.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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07-06-2013, 12:08 PM
RE: DOC'S HEURISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE'RE NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS)
(07-06-2013 11:54 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  The problem with "heuristic", is that I STILL have not been miraculously cured of my lithp. And you're NOT helping.

Bucky,
You don't have enough faith. A large contribution to my "collection plate" would go a long way to correct that deficit and move you up the healing list.

"Guru" Doc
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07-06-2013, 12:11 PM
RE: DOC'S HEURISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE'RE NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS)
(07-06-2013 12:08 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(07-06-2013 11:54 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  The problem with "heuristic", is that I STILL have not been miraculously cured of my lithp. And you're NOT helping.

Bucky,
You don't have enough faith. A large contribution to my "collection plate" would go a long way to correct that deficit and move you up the healing list.

"Guru" Doc

Yeah, that's another thing. What's god doing with all the money? Consider

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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07-06-2013, 12:18 PM
RE: DOC'S HEURISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE'RE NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS)
(07-06-2013 12:11 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(07-06-2013 12:08 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  Bucky,
You don't have enough faith. A large contribution to my "collection plate" would go a long way to correct that deficit and move you up the healing list.

"Guru" Doc

Yeah, that's another thing. What's god doing with all the money? Consider

He works in mysterious ways, much like the tax accounting of a wall street investment broker.

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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07-06-2013, 12:21 PM
RE: DOC'S HEURISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE'RE NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS)
(07-06-2013 12:18 PM)Revenant77x Wrote:  
(07-06-2013 12:11 PM)Chas Wrote:  Yeah, that's another thing. What's god doing with all the money? Consider

He works in mysterious ways, much like the tax accounting of a wall street investment broker.

Yeah, but we know what they do with the money - booze, coke, and whores. What's god do?

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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07-06-2013, 12:57 PM (This post was last modified: 07-06-2013 01:08 PM by docskeptic.)
RE: DOC'S HEURISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE'RE NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS)
(07-06-2013 12:21 PM)Chas Wrote:  Yeah, but we know what they do with the money - booze, coke, and whores. What's god do?

Chas, Chas, Chas. It takes a lot of money to run the universe. God can't be everywhere at all times, so he needs helpers and they don't come cheap. 3-piece suits, fancy cars and expensive watches are de rigueur for his crew.

Even Jesus who did not have a place to lay his own head could not escape the need for money. He didn't do so shabbily either. He took in enough collections to need
a money bag and a treasurer in the person of Judas Iscariot. And John 12:6 implies that the collections were so good that Judas could steal from the money bag and not have the loss detected!

Doc
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07-06-2013, 01:17 PM
RE: DOC'S HEURISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE'RE NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS)
(07-06-2013 12:57 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(07-06-2013 12:21 PM)Chas Wrote:  Yeah, but we know what they do with the money - booze, coke, and whores. What's god do?

Chas, Chas, Chas. It takes a lot of money to run the universe. God can't be everywhere at all times, so he needs helpers and they don't come cheap. 3-piece suits, fancy cars and expensive watches are de rigueur for his crew.

Even Jesus who did not have a place to lay his own head could not escape the need for money. He didn't do so shabbily either. He took in enough collections to need
a money bag and a treasurer in the person of Judas Iscariot. And John 12:6 implies that the collections were so good that Judas could steal from the money bag and not have the loss detected!

Doc

I'm glad you clarified that, I feel much better now. Drinking Beverage

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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07-06-2013, 01:59 PM
RE: DOC'S HEURISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE'RE NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS)
(07-06-2013 12:08 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(07-06-2013 11:54 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  The problem with "heuristic", is that I STILL have not been miraculously cured of my lithp. And you're NOT helping.

Bucky,
You don't have enough faith. A large contribution to my "collection plate" would go a long way to correct that deficit and move you up the healing list.

"Guru" Doc

Calling out from the stoner row because there was a moment of lucidity: But Doc, you're not lithening. Bucky ith trying to thave faith becauthe of hith lithp.

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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