Doc's Parks and Rec Sunday School
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30-09-2015, 02:16 PM
RE: Doc's atopic Sunday School (allergic to ignorance since 2013)
(29-09-2015 07:07 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Hmm. The Hadith turned out to be more entertaining than I thought. Here's another interesting tidbit about the prophet Mohammad (peanut butter upon him):

Narrated by Abu Huraira:

"I followed the Prophet while he was going out to answer the call of nature. He used not to look this way or that. So, when I approached near him he said to me, "Fetch for me some stones for cleaning the private parts and do not bring a bone or a piece of dung." So I brought the stones in the corner of my garment and placed them by his side and I then went away from him. When he finished (from answering the call of nature), he used them."

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 4, Number 157

Any man who can clean his private parts with stones is clearly not one to be messed with.

Doc

Truly, this was absolutely necessary to record for posterity.

... this is my signature!
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30-09-2015, 02:57 PM
RE: Doc's atopic Sunday School (allergic to ignorance since 2013)
(30-09-2015 02:16 PM)cjlr Wrote:  
(29-09-2015 07:07 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  ...
When he finished (from answering the call of nature), he used them."

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 4, Number 157

Any man who can clean his private parts with stones is clearly not one to be messed with.

Doc

Truly, this was absolutely necessary to record for posterity.

A posterior log?

Blush

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30-09-2015, 03:02 PM
RE: Doc's atopic Sunday School (allergic to ignorance since 2013)
(30-09-2015 02:57 PM)DLJ Wrote:  
(30-09-2015 02:16 PM)cjlr Wrote:  Truly, this was absolutely necessary to record for posterity.

A posterior log?

Blush

Could be. Here's a mysterious Hadith:

Whenever Allah's Apostle went to answer the call of nature, I along with another boy used to carry a tumbler full of water (for cleaning the private parts) and an 'Anza (spear-headed stuck).

Sahih Bukhari
Volume 1, Book 4, Number 154 :
Narrated by Anas bin Malik
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30-09-2015, 03:06 PM
RE: Doc's atopic Sunday School (allergic to ignorance since 2013)
(30-09-2015 03:02 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  ...
(spear-headed stuck).
...

The 'Anza was just in case something got stuck?

Undecided

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30-09-2015, 04:51 PM
RE: Doc's atopic Sunday School (allergic to ignorance since 2013)
(30-09-2015 03:06 PM)DLJ Wrote:  
(30-09-2015 03:02 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  ...
(spear-headed stuck).
...

The 'Anza was just in case something got stuck?

Undecided

Very possibly. The name of the writer, Anas bin Malik is highly suggestive.

Doc
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30-09-2015, 08:43 PM
RE: Doc's prophetic Sunday School (I can see clearly now, the brain is gone)
(30-09-2015 02:08 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  You know, I've been wondering. Would this whole Middle East turmoil thingy have turned out differently if only the prophet Mohammad (cheese be upon him) had access to good quality, double-ply, quilted toilet paper?

Doc

Perhaps, or if there had been more ladies around closer to the age of Mohammed (pedophiles be up here).

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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01-10-2015, 10:36 AM
RE: Doc's prophetic Sunday School (I can see clearly now, the brain is gone)
(30-09-2015 03:06 PM)DLJ Wrote:  
(30-09-2015 03:02 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  ...
(spear-headed stuck).
...

The 'Anza was just in case something got stuck?

Undecided

By dint of much research*, I have concluded that DLJ is correct. The 'Anza was indeed a Fecal Disimpactor and was named after the shrill, piercing cry uttered by the prophet (bees pee upon him) when he delivered himself of a mighty log. The word is linguistically connected to the French "merde" and etymologically similar in derivation to the Japanese "banzai".

*- research here means random unsupported assertions pulled from my bottom.

Doc
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01-10-2015, 10:49 AM
RE: Doc's prophetic Sunday School (I can see clearly now, the brain is gone)
(29-09-2015 07:07 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Hmm. The Hadith turned out to be more entertaining than I thought. Here's another interesting tidbit about the prophet Mohammad (peanut butter upon him):

Narrated by Abu Huraira:

"I followed the Prophet while he was going out to answer the call of nature. He used not to look this way or that. So, when I approached near him he said to me, "Fetch for me some stones for cleaning the private parts and do not bring a bone or a piece of dung." So I brought the stones in the corner of my garment and placed them by his side and I then went away from him. When he finished (from answering the call of nature), he used them."

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 4, Number 157

Any man who can clean his private parts with stones is clearly not one to be messed with.

Doc

This got me thinking Doc. Do the size or shape of the stones matter? I know that the prophet (barnacles pack upin him) laid out the size and shape of stones for things, like, oh lets say, stoning a woman. So do you think that the shape and size also matter when duty calls? Afterall, you would not want a man or woman using a stone that looked like this:

[Image: SAM_1572.JPG]

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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07-10-2015, 07:35 AM
RE: Doc's patriotic Sunday School (God, America, mom and falafel)
I admit, I skimmed through most of this.
My question is, did you resolve the falafel question?
I came for the falafel.
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07-10-2015, 07:42 AM
RE: Doc's patriotic Sunday School (God, America, mom and falafel)
"bees pee upon him" Laughat

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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