Doc's Parks and Rec Sunday School
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02-11-2015, 11:03 AM
RE: Doc Vader's imperialistic Sunday School (profoundly disturbed by your lack of faith)
(02-11-2015 10:58 AM)DLJ Wrote:  
(02-11-2015 10:38 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  No, but I might be very hard on you for the next test.

Doc

Sir, sir, please sir ... I made you this in metalwork class ... cos I know you're a true believer ...

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I look forward to the day I get to move up to the advanced dildo section.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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02-11-2015, 11:09 AM
RE: Doc Vader's imperialistic Sunday School (profoundly disturbed by your lack of faith)
(31-10-2015 10:22 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Speaking o' which, didn't the Holy Spirit know that feeding the infant Jesus curds and homey put him at risk for infant botulism? Could his strange beliefs have been caused by brain damage from muscle weakness and hypoxia from respiratory failure? Do we owe the current status of our civilization to the effects of C. botulinum on an infant 2000 years ago? Does anyone even care?

Doc

This reminds me of asking a believer whether Jesus ever took a really smelly shit and why then did he change the subject when the Pharisees pointed out that he didn't wash his hands before eating? (Mark 7, Luke 11, Matthew 15) I just got a blank stare back.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
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05-11-2015, 01:20 PM
RE: Doc Vader's imperialistic Sunday School (disturbed by your lack of faith)
Dom: Doc, you've been harping on and on about Isaiah 7. Question, what does verse 20 of Isaiah 7 mean?

Doc: Verse 20? Let me see. Let me see. Oh yes, it's part of the "virgin" prophecy. It says in the NKJV, "In the same day shall the Lord shave with a razor that is hired, namely, by them beyond the river, by the king of Assyria, the head, and the hair of the feet: and it shall also consume the beard." It means that just as a barber shaves clean, the king of Assyria would carry captive clean out of the land of Judea the king, the princes, the nobles, and the common people.

Dom: That's not what the original Hebrew says. It uses a euphemism for private parts. The NET Bible translates it more correctly, "At that time the sovereign master will use a razor hired from the banks of the Euphrates River, the king of Assyria, to shave the head and the pubic hair; it will also shave off the beard."

Doc, gasping: What did you say?

Dom: Pubic hair.

Doc: Did God actually say that?

Dom: Yup.

Doc, giggling, then chuckling, then laughing uproariously: Pubic hair. Pubic hair. Ha, ha ha! Stop! Stop! My sides are hurting.

Dom, slapping Doc: Snap out of it, man.

Doc, weakly: Thanks, I needed that.
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05-11-2015, 01:34 PM
RE: Doc Vader's imperialistic Sunday School (profoundly disturbed by your lack of faith)
Doc Vader's imperialistic Sunday School

May the horse be with you. Oh wait. Breeders Cup was last week.
Shit.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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05-11-2015, 04:36 PM
RE: Doc Vader's imperialistic Sunday School (profoundly disturbed by your lack of faith)
(05-11-2015 01:20 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  Dom: Doc, you've been harping on and on about Isaiah 7. Question, what does verse 20 of Isaiah 7 mean?

Doc: Verse 20? Let me see. Let me see. Oh yes, it's part of the "virgin" prophecy. It says in the NKJV, "In the same day shall the Lord shave with a razor that is hired, namely, by them beyond the river, by the king of Assyria, the head, and the hair of the feet: and it shall also consume the beard." It means that just as a barber shaves clean, the king of Assyria would carry captive clean out of the land of Judea the king, the princes, the nobles, and the common people.

Dom: That's not what the original Hebrew says. It uses a euphemism for private parts. The NET Bible translates it more correctly, "At that time the sovereign master will use a razor hired from the banks of the Euphrates River, the king of Assyria, to shave the head and the pubic hair; it will also shave off the beard."

Doc, gasping: What did you say?

Dom: Pubic hair.

Doc: Did God actually say that?

Dom: Yup.

Doc, giggling, then chuckling, then laughing uproariously: Pubic hair. Pubic hair. Ha, ha ha! Stop! Stop! My sides are hurting.

Dom, slapping Doc: Snap out of it, man.

Doc, weakly: Thanks, I needed that.

Yes you did! Big Grin

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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13-11-2015, 02:14 PM
RE: Doc's gonadotropic Sunday School (helping believers mature since 2013)
(14-07-2015 09:20 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Speaking of Goliath, here's something else for your consideration. Goliath was the son of Rapha (2 Samuel 21:22). Rapha was a descendant of the Anakim who in turn were descended from the Nephilim.

Now, the Nephilim were a race of giants, a sort of half-breed created by the union of the "sons of God" and women (Gen. 6:4). This mating occurred before the Flood.

Here's the funny thing. In Numbers 13:33, the spies sent out by Moses to scope out the Promised Land returned saying, "We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."

Now, if the Flood destroyed every living thing except the 8 humans and the animals on board on the Ark, how did the Nephilim descendants survive? I doubt that Noah took aboard a pair of Nephilim two by two on board the Arky, Arky.

Doc

OK. Slight complication here. Seems as if the Nephilim were not the only giants that had to be accounted for. There were at least four more species of giants wandering around Canaan at the time of the Hebrews' exodus from Egypt.

Deut, 2: 10-11, "The Emims dwelt therein (Ar in Moab) in times past, a people great, and many, and tall, as the Anakims; Which also were accounted giants, as the Anakims; but the Moabites call them Emims."

Deut. 2: 20-22, "That (the land of Ammon) also was accounted a land of giants: giants dwelt therein in old time; and the Ammonites call them Zamzummims; A people great, and many, and tall, as the Anakims; but the LORD destroyed them before them; and they succeeded them, and dwelt in their stead: As he did to the children of Esau, which dwelt in Seir, when he destroyed the Horims from before them; and they succeeded them, and dwelt in their stead even unto this day: And the Avims which dwelt in Hazerim, even unto Azzah, the Caphtorims, which came forth out of Caphtor, destroyed them, and dwelt in their stead.)

So, at last count, the Hebrews had the Nephilims, Raphaims, Anakims, Emims, Zamzummims, Horims and the Avims to deal with.

How to account for the survival of these giants after the Flood? And did they speciate before the Flood or after?

Doc
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16-11-2015, 03:36 PM
RE: Doc's static Sunday School (plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose)
More trouble with giants. The more I read the Bible, the more giants I see popping up all over the place. And not just in Israel either. 1 Chron 11: 23 says, "(Abshai, the cousin of David) killed an Egyptian, a man of great stature five cubits tall. Now in the Egyptian‘s hand was a spear like a weaver‘s beam, but [Abshai] went up to him with a club and snatched the spear from the Egyptian‘s hand and killed him with his own spear."

Where are all these giants now? In the NBA?

Doc
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16-11-2015, 03:45 PM
RE: Doc's static Sunday School (plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose)
I dunno how you have such patience to read your bible doc. It's killer for me.

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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16-11-2015, 03:57 PM
RE: Doc's static Sunday School (plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose)
(16-11-2015 03:36 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  More trouble with giants. The more I read the Bible, the more giants I see popping up all over the place. And not just in Israel either. 1 Chron 11: 23 says, "(Abshai, the cousin of David) killed an Egyptian, a man of great stature five cubits tall. Now in the Egyptian‘s hand was a spear like a weaver‘s beam, but [Abshai] went up to him with a club and snatched the spear from the Egyptian‘s hand and killed him with his own spear."

Where are all these giants now? In the NBA?

Doc

7'6" is tall, but giant? Consider

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16-11-2015, 05:35 PM
RE: Doc's static Sunday School (plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose)
(13-11-2015 02:14 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(14-07-2015 09:20 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Speaking of Goliath, here's something else for your consideration. Goliath was the son of Rapha (2 Samuel 21:22). Rapha was a descendant of the Anakim who in turn were descended from the Nephilim.

Now, the Nephilim were a race of giants, a sort of half-breed created by the union of the "sons of God" and women (Gen. 6:4). This mating occurred before the Flood.

Here's the funny thing. In Numbers 13:33, the spies sent out by Moses to scope out the Promised Land returned saying, "We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."

Now, if the Flood destroyed every living thing except the 8 humans and the animals on board on the Ark, how did the Nephilim descendants survive? I doubt that Noah took aboard a pair of Nephilim two by two on board the Arky, Arky.

Doc

OK. Slight complication here. Seems as if the Nephilim were not the only giants that had to be accounted for. There were at least four more species of giants wandering around Canaan at the time of the Hebrews' exodus from Egypt.

Deut, 2: 10-11, "The Emims dwelt therein (Ar in Moab) in times past, a people great, and many, and tall, as the Anakims; Which also were accounted giants, as the Anakims; but the Moabites call them Emims."

Deut. 2: 20-22, "That (the land of Ammon) also was accounted a land of giants: giants dwelt therein in old time; and the Ammonites call them Zamzummims; A people great, and many, and tall, as the Anakims; but the LORD destroyed them before them; and they succeeded them, and dwelt in their stead: As he did to the children of Esau, which dwelt in Seir, when he destroyed the Horims from before them; and they succeeded them, and dwelt in their stead even unto this day: And the Avims which dwelt in Hazerim, even unto Azzah, the Caphtorims, which came forth out of Caphtor, destroyed them, and dwelt in their stead.)

So, at last count, the Hebrews had the Nephilims, Raphaims, Anakims, Emims, Zamzummims, Horims and the Avims to deal with.

How to account for the survival of these giants after the Flood? And did they speciate before the Flood or after?

Doc

I don't know if you're not overlooking a simpler explanation, there, doc...

What if the ancient Hebrews were pygmies?

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