Doc's Parks and Rec Sunday School
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07-05-2013, 03:56 PM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
Revenant77x: CheeseBurger med rare lettuce tomato mayo grilled onions. Oh and can we get a BBQ'd baby for the table?

Waiter (haughtily): I am sorry, m'sieu, we do not serve cheeseburgair. As for the barbecued baby, the last one was ordered by that venerable gentleman over there. His name is YHWH. No last name, I believe. He ordered one from the house of Jephthah. A most fine specimen. A young virgin it was. M'sieu can read about it in Judges 11. If only m'sieu came a few thousand years ago. Mr. YHWH ordered a baby from the house of Abraham, but changed his mind and ordered lamb instead.

Revenant77x: Ah, well. I'll have the chitlins instead.

Waiter departs with a pained look on his face.
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07-05-2013, 05:59 PM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
What is going on. I read Judges 11 (King James, my fathers bible) it was sick twisted and confusing. Doc, get me to those happy verses of the new testament that prove as others suggest that god is love. I do not want to kill my daughter (well it would be my granddaughter, she is a little cutie).
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08-05-2013, 01:08 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(07-05-2013 05:59 PM)JAH Wrote:  What is going on. I read Judges 11 (King James, my fathers bible) it was sick twisted and confusing. Doc, get me to those happy verses of the new testament that prove as others suggest that god is love. I do not want to kill my daughter (well it would be my granddaughter, she is a little cutie).

Look... Judges 11 is a beautiful story about how good it is to obey God.

T'was only a girl who got killed....noone important.
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08-05-2013, 01:13 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(08-05-2013 01:08 AM)Mark Fulton Wrote:  
(07-05-2013 05:59 PM)JAH Wrote:  What is going on. I read Judges 11 (King James, my fathers bible) it was sick twisted and confusing. Doc, get me to those happy verses of the new testament that prove as others suggest that god is love. I do not want to kill my daughter (well it would be my granddaughter, she is a little cutie).

Look... Judges 11 is a beautiful story about how good it is to obey God.

T'was only a girl who got killed....noone important.

Nothin like that good ol fashioned religion. Misogyny rape genocide ya know good family values.

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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08-05-2013, 11:02 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
JAH: Can we please return to the topic of Jesus's miracles and discuss the case described in John 9:1-7 where Jesus cures a man blind from birth? The disciples ask Jesus who sinned to cause the man's blindness, he or his parents. How could they even think of blaming the man since he was born blind and had not had time to sin first?

Doc : Well, we are all born under the curse of sin by virtue of Adam's original sin.

JAH: Then why was this man singled out for special affliction? And if God is responsible for fashioning our bodies in the womb, how does he choose what to inflict on whom? Is it a case of cosmic bad luck? Or does God go "eenie-meenie-minie-mo"?

Doc: No one sinned. Jesus says the man was born blind so that the works of God may be manifest in him.

JAH (flabbergasted): You mean the man was born blind for the sole purpose of being healed by Jesus?? He spent years in darkness! What if he had never stumbled across Jesus? What about those afflicted similarly but who never came across Jesus?

Doc now bitterly regrets declining his sainted mother's sage advice to join the marines or the coal mining industry.
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09-05-2013, 07:12 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
Mark Fulton: Since we earlier talked about Jesus using spit as a cure, may we discuss the case of the deaf-mute that Jesus healed in Mark 7:31-37? For the third and last time, Jesus uses spit. He spits into his hands and touches the man's (shudder) tongue after which the man could hear and speak. Why does Jesus use spit?

Doc: Some conservative scholars have likened it to a baptism (stop giggling!) while others see it as purely symbolic.

Mark Fulton: Why have the symbolic act at all then? Why not just say the word and be done? All the theatrics may been meditated by Jesus to increase the 'wow' factor. Maybe the man was shamming and Jesus recognized it. Or the man was a shill planted by Jesus. In both this and the blind man's case Jesus led the patient away from the crowd to effect the healing. Why? Perhaps they discussed a mutually beneficial plan where Jesus was glorified as the healer and the man became famous as the healed. As a natural solution, this should be much preferred over a miraculous one.

Also, Mark got all his information from Peter and hence was twice removed from the original act. This is pure hearsay and cannot pass for evidence. David Hume's principle of not accepting any miraculous claim unless the falsehood of that claim is more miraculous than the claim itself is a wise principle to keep in mind.

Doc: Are you seriously suggesting that Jesus may have collaborated with this man to delude the crowd and increase his own notoriety and enhance his collections?

Mark Fulton: If the boot fits...
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09-05-2013, 07:21 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
Doc, your incredible knowledge of scripture coupled with your medical background and hard-won skepticism is the perfect anti-venom needed in today's god-driven madness.

If you don't put all this stuff in a book I swear you're going to need a miracle to recover from the boom I'm going to lower on you!

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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09-05-2013, 10:13 AM
DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(09-05-2013 07:21 AM)Full Circle Wrote:  Doc, your incredible knowledge of scripture coupled with your medical background and hard-won skepticism is the perfect anti-venom needed in today's god-driven madness.

If you don't put all this stuff in a book I swear you're going to need a miracle to recover from the boom I'm going to lower on you!

No! Graphic Novel!
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09-05-2013, 10:24 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(09-05-2013 10:13 AM)Cardinal Smurf Wrote:  
(09-05-2013 07:21 AM)Full Circle Wrote:  Doc, your incredible knowledge of scripture coupled with your medical background and hard-won skepticism is the perfect anti-venom needed in today's god-driven madness.

If you don't put all this stuff in a book I swear you're going to need a miracle to recover from the boom I'm going to lower on you!

No! Graphic Novel!

High budget Bollywood blockbuster!

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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09-05-2013, 10:33 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(09-05-2013 10:24 AM)Revenant77x Wrote:  
(09-05-2013 10:13 AM)Cardinal Smurf Wrote:  No! Graphic Novel!

High budget Bollywood blockbuster!

Somehow, I can't quite picture Jesus chasing a woman wearing a wet sari, in the rain, singing about how much he loves her and how the spicy food she cooks lights a fire within him. Moreover, the gospels say nothing about his dancing abilities.

Doc
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