Doc's Parks and Rec Sunday School
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23-01-2014, 11:32 AM
RE: DOC'S THERAPEUTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (BLOWING OFF STEAM SINCE 2013)
DLJ: Doc, I have a message from the head teacher...

Doc: Huh Huh? What?

DLJ: He wants to see you.

....

Head Teach: Doc, are you OK? I'm told that you've been displaying some symptoms of stress. Is there anything I can do?

Doc: Temporary relief?

Head Teach: Well... I ... erm... I haven't washed my hands but if you think it would help...

Doc: No! No! I meant a relief teacher!!!

Head Teach: Oh! Ehem! Blush I knew that. That isn't possible right now. Is there anything else we can do?

Doc: Well I have a this outstanding question about Lazarus... [repeats the concern]

Head Teach: That's an easy one. You are filtering the tale through modern analysis. We don't have resurrections nowadays but back then, they were commonplace. 10-a-penny. But having your feet wiped by a hot chick was exceedingly unusual as women were generally considered unclean... and hair!! My, my! Uncovered hair! That would be front page news.

Nowadays, women are quite often tolerated in our society and we permit them to show their hair if they behave themselves.

Does that satisfy your curiosity?

Doc: I see, I hadn't thought of it that way. Thanks boss.

Head Teach: OK, back to work, now. Off you go.

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23-01-2014, 11:39 AM
RE: DOC'S THERAPEUTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (BLOWING OFF STEAM SINCE 2013)
(23-01-2014 11:31 AM)cjlr Wrote:  
(23-01-2014 10:57 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Similarly, the raising of Lazarus from the dead should have topped any and all events that ever occurred in the life of Lazarus or his loved ones. After all, if the raising of Lazarus was notorious enough to cause Jesus to move away from Bethany for fear of the Jews, the report of Lazarus's raising should have persisted long enough in the populace's memory for them to remember the story (longer anyway than the story of a woman wiping Jesus's feet with her hair).

Eesh, doc.

Next you'll be telling me that the three-hour eclipse and the dead saints walking through Jerusalem during the crucifixion really ought to have been mentioned in more than one throwaway reference each.

I love nit-picking stuff to death. It's part of my abiding charm.

Doc
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23-01-2014, 11:50 AM
RE: DOC'S THERAPEUTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (BLOWING OFF STEAM SINCE 2013)
(23-01-2014 11:31 AM)cjlr Wrote:  Next you'll be telling me that the three-hour eclipse and the dead saints walking through Jerusalem during the crucifixion really ought to have been mentioned in more than one throwaway reference each.
You are mistaken; this story only appears in one of the gospels (Matthew 27:53, to be exact), not in each of them. Smartass

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23-01-2014, 11:58 AM
RE: DOC'S THERAPEUTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (BLOWING OFF STEAM SINCE 2013)
(23-01-2014 11:50 AM)Vosur Wrote:  
(23-01-2014 11:31 AM)cjlr Wrote:  Next you'll be telling me that the three-hour eclipse and the dead saints walking through Jerusalem during the crucifixion really ought to have been mentioned in more than one throwaway reference each.
You are mistaken; this story only appears in one of the gospels (Matthew 27:53, to be exact), not in each of them. Smartass

That's "one throwaway reference [to] each [incident]", Vosur. Grammar burn! Tongue

But yeah, it's from Matthew (Mark and Luke copied the eclipse but I guess the zombies were a bit much even for them).

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23-01-2014, 12:00 PM (This post was last modified: 23-01-2014 12:30 PM by docskeptic.)
RE: DOC'S THERAPEUTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (BLOWING OFF STEAM SINCE 2013)
(23-01-2014 11:32 AM)DLJ Wrote:  But having your feet wiped by a hot chick was exceedingly unusual as women were generally considered unclean... and hair!! My, my! Uncovered hair! That would be front page news.

But, DLJ, do we, in fact, know that Mary was "a hot chick"? Which Mary are we talking about? I discussed this conundrum in an earlier post. There were 3 different Marys who anointed Jesus in two different places (his head and his feet) with 3 different perfumes (in at least 2 different containers), costing 2 different amounts in 3 different geographical locations at 3 different times.

Do you wonder I have stress if I am expected to teach stuff like this?

Extremely relaxedly yours,

Doc
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23-01-2014, 12:13 PM
RE: DOC'S THERAPEUTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (BLOWING OFF STEAM SINCE 2013)
Message from Head Teach:

Doc, It's metaphor. They couldn't exactly come out with it and say that Mary gave Jesus a blowjob, can they?

So they made up an elaborate story which for those in the know, would have had that hidden meaning.

Get on with your job!

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23-01-2014, 12:16 PM
RE: DOC'S THERAPEUTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (BLOWING OFF STEAM SINCE 2013)
(23-01-2014 12:13 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Message from Head Teach:

Doc, It's metaphor. They couldn't exactly come out with it and say that Mary gave Jesus a blowjob, can they?

So they made up an elaborate story which for those in the know, would have had that hidden meaning.

Get on with your job!

Why not? Would make things a lot more interesting...

Kind of like the movie Jesus Christ: Vampire Slayer where all the vampires are hot lesbian atheists. Come on... that shit sells

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23-01-2014, 12:50 PM (This post was last modified: 23-01-2014 12:55 PM by Vosur.)
RE: DOC'S THERAPEUTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (BLOWING OFF STEAM SINCE 2013)
(23-01-2014 11:58 AM)cjlr Wrote:  That's "one throwaway reference [to] each [incident]", Vosur. Grammar burn! Tongue

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As evidenced by the quote below, you wrote your post with the knowledge that there are several references to the eclipse. It follows that your statement is wrong either way. Big Grin

(23-01-2014 11:58 AM)cjlr Wrote:  But yeah, it's from Matthew (Mark and Luke copied the eclipse but I guess the zombies were a bit much even for them).

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23-01-2014, 07:16 PM
DOC'S THERAPEUTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (BLOWING OFF STEAM SINCE 2013)
(23-01-2014 12:16 PM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  
(23-01-2014 12:13 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Message from Head Teach:

Doc, It's metaphor. They couldn't exactly come out with it and say that Mary gave Jesus a blowjob, can they?

So they made up an elaborate story which for those in the know, would have had that hidden meaning.

Get on with your job!

Why not? Would make things a lot more interesting...

Kind of like the movie Jesus Christ: Vampire Slayer where all the vampires are hot lesbian atheists. Come on... that shit sells

I would definitely pirate such a film! You may be on to something.

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! -Brian's mum
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23-01-2014, 07:32 PM
RE: DOC'S THERAPEUTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (BLOWING OFF STEAM SINCE 2013)
(23-01-2014 07:16 PM)Cardinal Smurf Wrote:  
(23-01-2014 12:16 PM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  Why not? Would make things a lot more interesting...

Kind of like the movie Jesus Christ: Vampire Slayer where all the vampires are hot lesbian atheists. Come on... that shit sells

I would definitely pirate such a film! You may be on to something.

I'm not joking sadly, it really is a film. Saw it on Netflix. Only bad thing is that there is musical numbers in it (not a full on musical). It ranks as bad as Thankskilling, Rubber (a killer car tire), and Leprechaun 3: In da Hood.
Don't judge me... my friend makes me watch this shit

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