Doc's acrobatic Sunday School (performing mental gymnastics since 2013)
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02-02-2015, 12:04 PM
RE: Doc's syphilitic Sunday School (transmitting the Gospel since 2013)
(02-02-2015 11:49 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  ... but I may have it backwards.

:rolls eyes:

Where ya been? That was last week's homework.


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02-02-2015, 03:28 PM (This post was last modified: 02-02-2015 03:36 PM by Mark Fulton.)
RE: Doc's syphilitic Sunday School (transmitting the Gospel since 2013)
(28-01-2015 09:45 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(26-01-2015 08:48 AM)morondog Wrote:  Alright doc, obvious question, why's it in the Catholic bible and not the good ol' KJV? It *can't* be because it was ruled "too preposterous", so what gives?

OK, there's a long answer and a short answer. I'm too lazy to type up the long one, so here goes. Short answer: Catholics are more gullible than Protestants.

While Protestants "only" have to believe that there is a God and that Jesus is his son, Catholics also have to believe that a man in a pointy hat, a shepherd's crook and kidney stones is also God's representative on earth and that "that it is altogether necessary to salvation for every human creature to be subject to the Roman Pontiff." (Pope Boniface VIII, Unam Sanctam)

Not surprisingly, if you believe in this obvious folderol, believing that Daniel was fed by an angel delivering soup while holding the delivery boy by the hair is mere child's play.


Mmmmm...folderol....I like that word.... thank you for teaching it to me doc
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03-02-2015, 08:19 AM (This post was last modified: 03-02-2015 10:23 AM by docskeptic.)
RE: Doc's syphilitic Sunday School (transmitting the Gospel since 2013)
(02-02-2015 10:45 AM)DLJ Wrote:  Hosea just wanted good sex.

Drinking Beverage

And how! So much so, that in Hosea 3 he claims that God told him to marry another prostitute. Look at Hosea 3: 1-2 (KJV), "Then said the Lord unto me, Go yet, love a woman beloved of her friend, yet an adulteress, according to the love of the Lord toward the children of Israel, who look to other gods, and love flagons of wine.
So I bought her to me for fifteen pieces of silver, and for an homer of barley, and an half homer of barley."

Seems that Hosea could justify his actions by claiming that God told him to do it. Sounds suspiciously similar to the actions of another prophet, whose name rhymes with Mohammed, who claimed that God told him to commit pedophilia.

Incidentally, Bible scholars think that that's how Hosea got his name, from his penchant for approaching women and saying, "I wanna hose ya".

Recognizing the moral dilemma posed by Hosea marrying two prostitiutes, the NIV changes the portion to read as follows, "The Lord said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress" implying that Hosea was simply forgiving and reconciling with his first wife.

Also, what does it mean that Hosea bought the woman for 15 pieces of silver and some barley. Barley? They didn't have flower shops then? In any case, the fact that the woman was bought shows that Hosea meant to use her as a sex slave.

So, in just one portion we have the Bible promoting infidelity, sex slavery and bigamy and we have an excellent example of bowdlerization to avoid offending modern sensibilities. Talk about efficiency!

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