Doc's bishopric Sunday School (Noun or adjective? One word or two?)
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04-07-2015, 07:13 PM
RE: Doc's archaic funday fchool
(04-07-2015 05:41 PM)unfogged Wrote:  
(04-07-2015 08:20 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  6. In Exodus 14:9 we read that the “Egyptians pursued after (the fleeing Israelites with) all the horses and chariots of Pharaoh, and his horsemen.” Keeping no. 3 and no. 4 in mind, write a 500 word essay on why horses are not beasts.

Trick question; we should be keeping 4 and 5 in mind, not 3 and 4.
Cool

Oopsies! My bad. You are correct, unfogged and for detecting the error you are exempt from future quizzes,

By the way, happy Independence Day to my fellow 'Muricans.

Doc
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04-07-2015, 08:38 PM
RE: Doc's archaic funday fchool
At first I thought Doc was having an orchiectic funday fchool.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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05-07-2015, 07:39 AM
RE: Doc's archaic funday fchool
(04-07-2015 07:13 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(04-07-2015 05:41 PM)unfogged Wrote:  Trick question; we should be keeping 4 and 5 in mind, not 3 and 4.
Cool

Oopsies! My bad. You are correct, unfogged and for detecting the error you are exempt from future quizzes,

I've been reading the bible; detecting inconsistencies and contradictions is becoming second nature.

Atheism: it's not just for communists any more!
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05-07-2015, 09:06 AM
RE: Doc's archaic funday fchool
(05-07-2015 07:39 AM)unfogged Wrote:  
(04-07-2015 07:13 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  Oopsies! My bad. You are correct, unfogged and for detecting the error you are exempt from future quizzes,

I've been reading the bible; detecting inconsistencies and contradictions is becoming second nature.

Suckup.

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The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
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13-07-2015, 01:41 PM
RE: Doc's climactic Sunday School (Jesus is coming...again)
(04-07-2015 08:20 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Doc: That’s quite enough of the divine derriere. From now on, the only Holy Ass I want to hear about is the one Jesus rode into Jerusalem on. Now, its time for a pop quiz. Bucky, put down the straw and spitball and pay attention. Here are the questions:

1. Who killed Goliath the giant?
a. David, in the Valley of Elah, with a sling and a stone (1 Sam. 17:41-51)
b. Elhanan, at Gob, with a (possibly) sword (2 Sam. 21:19)
c. Colonel Mustard, in the library, with a lead pipe

So, here's an interesting conundrum. How many Christians know that in 2 Samuel it was Elhanan that slew Goliath the giant, not David? Not one of my Christian relatives was even aware of this contradiction.

So, how do the cognoscenti get past this verse? Simple. By changing the verse.

Here's the literal translation (ERV):
"And there was again war with the Philistines at Gob; and Elhanan the son of Jaare, a weaver, the Bethlehemite slew Goliath the Gittite, the staff of whose spear was like a weaver's beam."

Here's the NIV (along with most modern translations):
"In another battle with the Philistines at Gob, Elhanan son of Jair the Bethlehemite killed the brother of Goliath the Gittite, who had a spear with a shaft like a weaver's rod."

Voila! Problem solved. Now when a Christian reads the Bible, there is no discrepancy. Ingenious, no?

Doc
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14-07-2015, 09:20 AM
RE: Doc's climactic Sunday School (Jesus is coming...again)
Speaking of Goliath, here's something else for your consideration. Goliath was the son of Rapha (2 Samuel 21:22). Rapha was a descendant of the Anakim who in turn were descended from the Nephilim.

Now, the Nephilim were a race of giants, a sort of half-breed created by the union of the "sons of God" and women (Gen. 6:4). This mating occurred before the Flood.

Here's the funny thing. In Numbers 13:33, the spies sent out by Moses to scope out the Promised Land returned saying, "We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."

Now, if the Flood destroyed every living thing except the 8 humans and the animals on board on the Ark, how did the Nephilim descendants survive? I doubt that Noah took aboard a pair of Nephilim two by two on board the Arky, Arky.

Doc
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14-07-2015, 10:01 AM
RE: Doc's climactic Sunday School (Jesus is coming...again)
(14-07-2015 09:20 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Now, if the Flood destroyed every living thing except the 8 humans and the animals on board on the Ark, how did the Nephilim descendants survive? I doubt that Noah took aboard a pair of Nephilim two by two on board the Arky, Arky.

Obviously Noah had some Nephilim blood in him
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14-07-2015, 12:15 PM
RE: Doc's climactic Sunday School (Jesus is coming...again)
(14-07-2015 09:20 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Speaking of Goliath, here's something else for your consideration. Goliath was the son of Rapha (2 Samuel 21:22). Rapha was a descendant of the Anakim who in turn were descended from the Nephilim.

Now, the Nephilim were a race of giants, a sort of half-breed created by the union of the "sons of God" and women (Gen. 6:4). This mating occurred before the Flood.

Here's the funny thing. In Numbers 13:33, the spies sent out by Moses to scope out the Promised Land returned saying, "We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."

Now, if the Flood destroyed every living thing except the 8 humans and the animals on board on the Ark, how did the Nephilim descendants survive? I doubt that Noah took aboard a pair of Nephilim two by two on board the Arky, Arky.

Doc

There only had to be one Nephilim, they probably shagged every woman on the ark while they slept and then hid behind the T-Rex's and were never discovered by Noah.

Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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14-07-2015, 12:28 PM
RE: Doc's climactic Sunday School (Jesus is coming...again)
(14-07-2015 09:20 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Now, if the Flood destroyed every living thing except the 8 humans and the animals on board on the Ark, how did the Nephilim descendants survive? I doubt that Noah took aboard a pair of Nephilim two by two on board the Arky, Arky.

The water wasn't deep enough. It was just a spa day for them.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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14-07-2015, 02:39 PM
RE: Doc's climactic Sunday School (Jesus is coming...again)
Sorry, unfogged and Girly. TheInquisition wins the prize on this one. There is a Jewish legend (or fairy tale, if you like), that a son of Anak stowed away on the Ark and repopulated the earth with giants after the flood.

But don't worry. Heres another chance to exercise your ingenuity:
The Cainites (Kenites) were descendants of Cain, the son of Adam and in 1 Samuel 15:6 we read that King Saul said to them, ""Go away, leave the Amalekites so that I do not destroy you along with them; for you showed kindness to all the Israelites when they came up out of Egypt." So the Kenites moved away from the Amalekites."

How did the Kenites survive the Flood?

Doc
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