Doc's bishopric Sunday School (Noun or adjective? One word or two?)
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20-07-2015, 11:03 AM
RE: Doc's best exotic marigold Sunday School
(20-07-2015 01:56 AM)DLJ Wrote:  
(16-07-2015 11:34 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  ...
Totaling up the ages given (167+188+600) gives us 955 years, which was how old Methuselah was when the Flood happened. Here's the problem. The Bible specifically says that Methuselah was 969 years old when he died, which means that he outlived the Flood by 14 years!

That's the last straw. 1 Peter 3:20 specifically says that only 8 people survived the Flood - Noah, his wife, their 3 sons and 3 daughters-in-law. How did grandpa Methuselah survive?
...

Easy.

He took 14 years to drown.

Thumbsup

Ah! Sort of like tumbling into a Sarlacc, then.

Doc
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20-07-2015, 11:26 AM
RE: Doc's best exotic marigold Sunday School
(20-07-2015 11:03 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  ...
Ah! Sort of like tumbling into a Sarlacc, then.

Doc

Yes. Very much not like that, I would suspect.

Undecided

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20-07-2015, 06:58 PM
RE: Doc's best exotic marigold Sunday School
(20-07-2015 11:03 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(20-07-2015 01:56 AM)DLJ Wrote:  Easy.

He took 14 years to drown.

Thumbsup

Ah! Sort of like tumbling into a Sarlacc, then.

Doc

Wait. So are you saying that the Sarlacc isn't real either? And that would mean that Han and Chewie were also made up???? Man, I need a hug......... No Sadcryface Sadcryface2

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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27-07-2015, 09:32 AM (This post was last modified: 27-07-2015 10:38 AM by docskeptic.)
RE: Doc's Hasidic Sunday School (messhugeh goyim free since 2013)
unfogged: Doc, why did you become a Christian in the first place?

Doc: Well, unlike other prophets and holy men, Jesus proved that he was the real deal by rising up from the dead.

unfogged: How do you know that?

Doc: Well, duh! His tomb is empty, innit?

unfogged: Which tomb?

Doc: Umm... the one in Jerusalem?

unfogged: You mean the church of the Holy Sepulcher? Or the garden tomb?

Doc: There's more than one?

unfogged: Oh, yes! These are the two most popular. The church of the Holy Sepulcher is revered by the Greek Orthodox and the Catholics and the garden tomb by most Protestant sects. There are others, like the newly discovered Talpiot tomb and the one in Kashmir, India and the one in Japan. They can't all be the right one.

Doc: Kashmir?

unfogged: What if none of them is the right one? There could still be a tomb with Jesus' body in it. Moreover, even a real empty tomb does not prove that it became empty by means of a resurrection. What if Jesus was never buried? Or if his body rotted away? Or if it was stolen away?

Doc: Japan??
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27-07-2015, 09:59 AM
RE: Doc's Hasidic Sunday School (messhugeh goyim free since 2013)
Ahh so. Oy vey.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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27-07-2015, 11:17 AM
RE: Doc's Hasidic Sunday School (messhugeh goyim free since 2013)
(27-07-2015 09:32 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  unfogged: What if none of them is the right one? There could still be a tomb with Jesus' body in it. Moreover, even a real empty tomb does not prove that it became empty by means of a resurrection. What if Jesus was never buried? Or if his body rotted away? Or if it was stolen away?

I'm honored... I think... OK, I'm more confused...
Consider

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27-07-2015, 01:09 PM
RE: Doc's Hasidic Sunday School (messhugeh goyim free since 2013)
(27-07-2015 11:17 AM)unfogged Wrote:  
(27-07-2015 09:32 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  unfogged: What if none of them is the right one? There could still be a tomb with Jesus' body in it. Moreover, even a real empty tomb does not prove that it became empty by means of a resurrection. What if Jesus was never buried? Or if his body rotted away? Or if it was stolen away?

I'm honored... I think... OK, I'm more confused...
Consider

s'OK. Join the club. One of the chief arguing points for Christianity is the resurrection of Jesus and Christians often talk or sing about the empty tomb. I once asked a Christian if he could show me the empty tomb and for the life of him he could not even remember where the tomb was! He took it on faith that there was an empty tomb somewhere. And how do we know that it was Jesus's? I dunno. Maybe by the inscription on the plaque fixed outside?

Doc
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27-07-2015, 01:16 PM
RE: Doc's Hasidic Sunday School (messhugeh goyim free since 2013)
I know, I know! (Waves hand frantically) The Gospels all say there was an empty tomb. And there couldn't possibly be anything in the Gospels that isn't "Gospel truth". QED.

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27-07-2015, 01:29 PM
RE: Doc's Hasidic Sunday School (messhugeh goyim free since 2013)
(27-07-2015 01:09 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(27-07-2015 11:17 AM)unfogged Wrote:  I'm honored... I think... OK, I'm more confused...
Consider

s'OK. Join the club. One of the chief arguing points for Christianity is the resurrection of Jesus and Christians often talk or sing about the empty tomb. I once asked a Christian if he could show me the empty tomb and for the life of him he could not even remember where the tomb was! He took it on faith that there was an empty tomb somewhere. And how do we know that it was Jesus's? I dunno. Maybe by the inscription on the plaque fixed outside?

Doc

Ah well my favorite part is how there is the story of the people who went to the tomb, saw there was no Jesus but then saw the resurrected Jesus... and then told No one of this event... then this event by someone else was written down with their details involved... but they told no one. It all adds up so well.

"Allow there to be a spectrum in all that you see" - Neil Degrasse Tyson
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27-07-2015, 01:37 PM
RE: Doc's Hasidic Sunday School (messhugeh goyim free since 2013)
(27-07-2015 01:09 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(27-07-2015 11:17 AM)unfogged Wrote:  I'm honored... I think... OK, I'm more confused...
Consider

s'OK. Join the club. One of the chief arguing points for Christianity is the resurrection of Jesus and Christians often talk or sing about the empty tomb. I once asked a Christian if he could show me the empty tomb and for the life of him he could not even remember where the tomb was! He took it on faith that there was an empty tomb somewhere. And how do we know that it was Jesus's? I dunno. Maybe by the inscription on the plaque fixed outside?

Doc

No, no ,no! It's the one where you can get the nice rosary beads outside of it.

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Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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