Doc's bishopric Sunday School (Noun or adjective? One word or two?)
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03-08-2015, 10:48 AM
RE: Doc's Sunday School
Quote:Fuck, at least he wasn't pierced in his bottom otherwise they might have been big endians.

No. They were the True Buttians.

Doc, I didn't realize they had fake nails that early.

And BTW, if we don't get clever Sunday School names, I'mma gonna quit and go to Saturday School.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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03-08-2015, 01:00 PM
RE: Doc's Sunday School
(03-08-2015 10:48 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  And BTW, if we don't get clever Sunday School names, I'mma gonna quit and go to Saturday School.

Damn straight. Doc's Sunday School? What the fuck is that shit?

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If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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03-08-2015, 02:08 PM
RE: Doc's apologetic Sunday School (where we're really, really sorry)
(03-08-2015 10:48 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  Doc, I didn't realize they had fake nails that early.

Doc: Who said anything about them being fake? They were real alright and there had to be four of them. The empress Helena cast 2 of them into the sea to calm a raging storm as she made her crossing from the Holy Land back to Rome and she gave the remaining two to her son. He made a horse bridle-bit out of one and incorporated the other into his crown, which can still be seen in Milan and is called the Iron Crown of Lombardy. The miracles prove that the nails were authentic.

Bucky: Umm... I always thought you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts.

Doc: What's so unbelievable? There had to be 4 nails, so the Triclavianists were wrong. We know this because all the stigmatists. like St. Francis, for example, had five wounds on their body. One in each palm, one in each foot and one on the side. That means four nails were used, one for each limb.

Bucky: Umm, doc... you have a Window open on your laptop.

Doc: Yes, I'm partial to PC myself. Its how I research these topics. Besides, all the earliest depictions of the crucifixion (with rare exceptions) show Christ nailed to the cross with four nails, not three.

Bucky (urgently): Doc, I can see the gun of Navaronne.

Doc: Yeah, I saw that movie too. But what does that have to do with anything? The final nail (hah!) in the coffin of the Triclavianists is that Pope Innocent III has ruled in favor of four nails, not three and any opinion to the contrary is heresy.

Bucky: You idiot. Your fly is open!
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03-08-2015, 02:25 PM
RE: Doc's apologetic Sunday School (where we're really, really sorry)
Are there any verifiable popey fallibilities? I mean stuff like where someone ruled infallibly that e.g. the Sun goes round the Earth or something daft like that?

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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03-08-2015, 05:56 PM
RE: Doc's apologetic Sunday School (where we're really, really sorry)
(01-08-2015 08:05 AM)DLJ Wrote:  Please sir, please sir?

Should we burning magicians at the stake as heretics?

Aren't conjurors blaspheming blasphemously when they perform their vanishing lady trick?

Now you see it, now you don't.
Ta-raah!
Behold the risien lord (lady)!

[Image: vlcsnap-17889.png?w=300]

Wait, that would mean that we'd have to burn the Joker for that disappearing pencil trick. Bruce Wayne Batman is going to be pissed.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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03-08-2015, 05:58 PM
RE: Doc's apologetic Sunday School (where we're really, really sorry)
(03-08-2015 02:08 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  Bucky (urgently): Doc, I can see the gun of Navaronne.

Doc: Yeah, I saw that movie too. But what does that have to do with anything? The final nail (hah!) in the coffin of the Triclavianists is that Pope Innocent III has ruled in favor of four nails, not three and any opinion to the contrary is heresy.

Bucky: You idiot. Your fly is open!

It's ok. At Doc's age, the gun of Navaronne can't get any elevation off the gun cradle. Big Grin

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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04-08-2015, 11:24 AM
RE: Doc's apologetic Sunday School (where we're really, really sorry)
Hey Doc,

A friend on Facebook was going on about sodom and gomorrah, gay marriage is just awful and all that.

So I asked about the end of story....what happened to Lot after....

They didn't know. So, I might have mumbled something about incest, they assured me that wasn't part of the story.

So later they came back and basically said it didn't count as "real incest" because Lot was 'really drunk at the time.'


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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04-08-2015, 11:32 AM
RE: Doc's apologetic Sunday School (where we're really, really sorry)
(04-08-2015 11:24 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Hey Doc,

A friend on Facebook was going on about sodom and gomorrah, gay marriage is just awful and all that.

So I asked about the end of story....what happened to Lot after....

They didn't know. So, I might have mumbled something about incest, they assured me that wasn't part of the story.

So later they came back and basically said it didn't count as "real incest" because Lot was 'really drunk at the time.'

Wait - so sex doesn't count if you're drunk?! Sweet!

Maybe I'm not such a ho after all - that means I've only fornicated with...a few people... Unsure

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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04-08-2015, 01:57 PM
RE: Doc's apologetic Sunday School (where we're really, really sorry)
(03-08-2015 02:25 PM)morondog Wrote:  Are there any verifiable popey fallibilities? I mean stuff like where someone ruled infallibly that e.g. the Sun goes round the Earth or something daft like that?

MD,

At first I thought that your question would be easy to answer, but popes (and Catholic theology) are more devious than we think. In order to be considered infallible, a pope’s announcements must be:

a. Made while he is pope

b. Made “ex cathedra” i.e. while discharging his official duties as pope and not, say, while talking to his bookie.

c. On matters of faith and morals, and not something important, say, science.

With those features in mind, it becomes rather difficult to pin anything on any particular pope re: fallibility, but I was still able to dig up a few instances. I'm sure there are others and other members may chime in with a few.

1. Pope Clement VIII sentenced Giordano Bruno to death by burning at the stake for holding to the heliocentric view (among other heresies) rather than the geocentric view, which was the church's position. Incidentally, the pope also nearly banned coffee in Europe at the instigation of his advisers, but became so addicted to it that he baptized it to sanctify it for daily consumption by the masses.

2. Pope Paul V condemned Galileo Galilei for holding to the heliocentric view and threatened him with torture unless he recanted.

3. Pope Sixtus V published the worst Latin translation of the Bible ever, full of errors and declared that it was necessary for salvation for the masses to follow his own translation. The edition was so bad that after his death, all copies were recalled by the church and burnt.

4. Pope Gregory the Great condemned sex within marriage if not undertaken for the express purpose of conception or if “immoderate or excessive.” To quote the good pope, “...if any pleasure is 'mixed' with the act of intercourse, the married couple have transgressed the law of marriage; they have 'befouled' their intercourse by 'their Pleasures."'

Doc
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05-08-2015, 12:01 AM
RE: Doc's apologetic Sunday School (where we're really, really sorry)
(04-08-2015 01:57 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  In order to be considered infallible, a pope’s announcements must be:

a. Made while he is pope

b. Made “ex cathedra” i.e. while discharging his official duties as pope and not, say, while talking to his bookie.

c. On matters of faith and morals, and not something important, say, science.

So in part c it seems to me that they are in essence admitting that Popes don't know shit about stuff that's important, e.g. science? So if some past pope had forgotten himself enough to rule ex cathedra that light bulbs are powered by fairies they can just invoke part c and weasel out of it. It's still gotta be a bit embarrassing though...

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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