Doc's bishopric Sunday School (Noun or adjective? One word or two?)
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13-01-2017, 05:13 PM
RE: Doc's paresthetic Sunday School (tingling with excitement since 2013)
Mohammad's Believe It Or Else Comics

http://islamcomicbook.com/

A laugh riot.

When I shake my ignore file, I can hear them buzzing!

Cheerful Charlie
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13-01-2017, 06:16 PM
RE: Doc's paresthetic Sunday School (tingling with excitement since 2013)
(13-01-2017 02:39 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  And whoever wakes up from his sleep should wash his hands before putting them in the water for ablution, because nobody knows where his hands were during sleep."
(Narrated by Abu Huraira. Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 4, Number 162)

For some reason, when I read this, that scene from Planes, Trains, and Automobiles where Steve Martin and John Candy wake up in the hotel room popped on my head.....

Why are you holding my hand?
Where's your other hand?
Between two pillows.
THOSE AREN'T PILLOWS!!!!!!

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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13-01-2017, 07:08 PM
RE: Doc's paresthetic Sunday School (tingling with excitement since 2013)
(13-01-2017 05:10 PM)Dom Wrote:  Maybe they meant sand? I have seen people wash hands with sand, and clothes. I can't imagine washing private parts with it though, of either sex.

Ingenious, but incorrect. See Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 4, Number 158, narrated by 'Abdullah:

The Prophet went out to answer the call of nature and asked me to bring three stones. I found two stones and searched for the third but could not find it. So (I) took a dried piece of dung and brought it to him. He took the two stones and threw away the dung and said, "This is a filthy thing."

This proves two things:
1. It has to be an odd number of stones
2. Dung (and presumably, sand) is unacceptable.

Incidentally, wiping your bum with dung is the Arab equivalent of carrying coals to Newcastle.

Doc
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13-01-2017, 09:30 PM
RE: Doc's paresthetic Sunday School (tingling with excitement since 2013)
I would like to apply for a substitute teaching position at Sunday School.
I can only teach once. We will cover 1/4 the truth.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quadrantanopia
Quadrantanopic Sunday School.
Tongue
And of course throw spitballs.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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14-01-2017, 11:01 AM
RE: Doc's paresthetic Sunday School (tingling with excitement since 2013)
Continuing with the informative and edifying information contained in the Hadith, we read the following as narrated by 'Abdullah bin 'Umar, "Once I went up the roof of our house and I saw Allah's Apostle answering the call of nature while sitting on two bricks facing Bait-ul-Maqdis (Jerusalem)". Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 4, Number 147

This, of course, is only right and proper. One should not face away from Jerusalem while answering the call of nature. That would be impious and disrespectful.

Fun fact: Mecca is 920 miles due south of Jerusalem.

Doc
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14-01-2017, 11:27 AM
RE: Doc's polyuric Sunday School (dribbling out knowledge since 2013)
(14-01-2017 11:01 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Continuing with the informative and edifying information contained in the Hadith, we read the following as narrated by 'Abdullah bin 'Umar, "Once I went up the roof of our house and I saw Allah's Apostle answering the call of nature while sitting on two bricks facing Bait-ul-Maqdis (Jerusalem)". Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 4, Number 147

This, of course, is only right and proper. One should not face away from Jerusalem while answering the call of nature. That would be impious and disrespectful.

Fun fact: Mecca is 920 miles due south of Jerusalem.

Doc

One answers the call of nature on top of a roof? Or was he up there peeking down at the apostle?

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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14-01-2017, 01:04 PM
RE: Doc's polyuric Sunday School (dribbling out knowledge since 2013)
(14-01-2017 11:27 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(14-01-2017 11:01 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Continuing with the informative and edifying information contained in the Hadith, we read the following as narrated by 'Abdullah bin 'Umar, "Once I went up the roof of our house and I saw Allah's Apostle answering the call of nature while sitting on two bricks facing Bait-ul-Maqdis (Jerusalem)". Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 4, Number 147

This, of course, is only right and proper. One should not face away from Jerusalem while answering the call of nature. That would be impious and disrespectful.

Fun fact: Mecca is 920 miles due south of Jerusalem.

Doc

One answers the call of nature on top of a roof? Or was he up there peeking down at the apostle?

Fun fact #2: That old joke about an 800 lb gorilla was invented by an anonymous Arab writer and went like this: "Where does Allah's Apostle answer the call of nature?"

Fun fact #3: This joke, was, in fact, only told once and the punchline was followed by an awkward silence and the thud of a scimitar striking wood.

Doc
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14-01-2017, 10:31 PM
RE: Doc's polyuric Sunday School (dribbling out knowledge since 2013)
(14-01-2017 11:27 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(14-01-2017 11:01 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Continuing with the informative and edifying information contained in the Hadith, we read the following as narrated by 'Abdullah bin 'Umar, "Once I went up the roof of our house and I saw Allah's Apostle answering the call of nature while sitting on two bricks facing Bait-ul-Maqdis (Jerusalem)". Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 4, Number 147

This, of course, is only right and proper. One should not face away from Jerusalem while answering the call of nature. That would be impious and disrespectful.

Fun fact: Mecca is 920 miles due south of Jerusalem.

Doc

One answers the call of nature on top of a roof? Or was he up there peeking down at the apostle?

Maybe giving a Caliphate steamer? Or a hot Omar?

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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14-01-2017, 11:06 PM
RE: Doc's polyuric Sunday School (dribbling out knowledge since 2013)
(14-01-2017 10:31 PM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  
(14-01-2017 11:27 AM)Dom Wrote:  One answers the call of nature on top of a roof? Or was he up there peeking down at the apostle?

Maybe giving a Caliphate steamer? Or a hot Omar?

A Rusty Scimitar™?

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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15-01-2017, 08:44 AM
RE: Doc's polyuric Sunday School (dribbling out knowledge since 2013)
(14-01-2017 11:06 PM)RocketSurgeon76 Wrote:  
(14-01-2017 10:31 PM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  Maybe giving a Caliphate steamer? Or a hot Omar?

A Rusty Scimitar™?

Yanbu muddy river?

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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