Doc's bishopric Sunday School (Noun or adjective? One word or two?)
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03-04-2013, 09:10 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
Hey, Doc...

You're gonna run into the problem of, "we're all tired of it, fiction is fiction, yada-yada..."

Just sayin'. Angel

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03-04-2013, 09:57 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(03-04-2013 09:10 AM)houseofcantor Wrote:  Hey, Doc...

You're gonna run into the problem of, "we're all tired of it, fiction is fiction, yada-yada..."

Just sayin'. Angel

Until that happens, I'm going to have a heck of a ride. Drivel such as the Bible can be entertaining if approached the right way!
Doc
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03-04-2013, 12:06 PM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(02-04-2013 02:30 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  I am your new teacher and my name is Docskeptic.

Not a good way to start out your post when it's addressed to everyone and we have Biblical scholars here.

On the other hand, welcome to the forum.

I am not accountable to any God. I am accountable to myself - and not because I think I am God as some theists would try to assert - but because, no matter what actions I take, thoughts I think, or words I utter, I have to be able to live with myself.
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03-04-2013, 12:14 PM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(03-04-2013 12:06 PM)Impulse Wrote:  
(02-04-2013 02:30 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  I am your new teacher and my name is Docskeptic.

Not a good way to start out your post when it's addressed to everyone and we have Biblical scholars here.

On the other hand, welcome to the forum.

You probably got a few peoples backs up with that intro (my guess would be DocX takes it as a challenge) and to be compltely honest with you we have a whole work up of biblical contradictions on the main page of this website so unless you have something to add to that this thread is going to disolve into a million tangents (as it is already begining to do.

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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03-04-2013, 12:31 PM (This post was last modified: 03-04-2013 12:44 PM by docskeptic.)
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(03-04-2013 12:14 PM)Revenant77x Wrote:  
(03-04-2013 12:06 PM)Impulse Wrote:  Not a good way to start out your post when it's addressed to everyone and we have Biblical scholars here.

On the other hand, welcome to the forum.

You probably got a few peoples backs up with that intro (my guess would be DocX takes it as a challenge) and to be compltely honest with you we have a whole work up of biblical contradictions on the main page of this website so unless you have something to add to that this thread is going to disolve into a million tangents (as it is already begining to do.

The pop quiz that followed should have revealed the gag nature of my "teacher" status claim. Still, I think I can add some useful information. Consider the following:

The last question in the pop quiz about the woman anointing Jesus was a trick question. There was not just one woman, there were three. Here are the incidents:

1. Matthew 26:6-13, 2 days before the crucifixion, Jesus is in the home of Simon the Leper in Bethany (in Judea) when he is anointed by a sinful woman. The disciples protest against the waste.

2. Luke 7:36-50, an unspecified time (but certainly more than two days) before Jesus's death he is in an unnamed city in Galilee (not Judea) in the home of a certain Simon the Pharisee, when he is anointed by a sinful woman. Simon protests against the waste.

3. John 12:1-8, six days before his death, Jesus is in Bethany in Judea in the house of Lazarus, Martha, and Mary for dinner when Mary (who is never described as sinful) anoints him with a very expensive perfume. Judas Iscariot protests against the waste.

Isn't that wonderful? Jesus was anointed three separate times by three different women in three different locations!

But, some may say, could that not have been an example of a story getting garbled as it passed through the hands of the gospel writers? Or conversely, isn't that also an example of a conflation of events into a single event in the minds of the reader?

To which I say, Of course not! The gospel writers were inspired and would not have garbled a story so. And Bible readers never confuse narratives.

Doc
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03-04-2013, 01:27 PM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
I enjoy them..keep 'em coming. It's been 15 to 20 years since I really cracked open the book.
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03-04-2013, 02:11 PM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(03-04-2013 01:27 PM)Dirtnapper324 Wrote:  I enjoy them..keep 'em coming. It's been 15 to 20 years since I really cracked open the book.

Thanks! With your permission then and with apologies in advance, I present the following:

Dirtnapper: Doc, may I ask you a moral question?

Doc: Sure.

Dirtnapper: Leviticus 18:9, 12, 29 says, "Do not have sexual relations with your sister, either your father's daughter or your mother's daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere" and "Do not have sexual relations with your father's sister; she is your father's close relative" and "Everyone who does any of these detestable things-such persons must be cut off from their people"

Doc: Well, what of it? Incest is a heinous crime and these laws make perfect moral and medical sense, don't they? This proves that the Bible was far ahead of its time.

Dirtnapper: But that's just it. Some of the heroes of the Bible violated this law and lived to tell about it. For example, Abraham married his half-sister, Sarah, and Moses's father married his father's sister, Jochebed, Moses's great-aunt. Why were they "not cut off from their people"?

Doc (triumphantly): Hah! They committed these acts BEFORE the law was given to Moses and so were not guilty of transgressing the law.

Dirtnapper: I see. But God talked directly to Abraham several times. If his laws and thoughts are immutable through the ages, why did he not warn him against such a wicked action? And why did God allow his prophet to be born of an incestuous union which he later expressly forbade?

Doc (mouth agape): ....
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03-04-2013, 02:27 PM
DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(03-04-2013 02:11 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(03-04-2013 01:27 PM)Dirtnapper324 Wrote:  I enjoy them..keep 'em coming. It's been 15 to 20 years since I really cracked open the book.

Thanks! With your permission then and with apologies in advance, I present the following:

Dirtnapper: Doc, may I ask you a moral question?

Doc: Sure.

Dirtnapper: Leviticus 18:9, 12, 29 says, "Do not have sexual relations with your sister, either your father's daughter or your mother's daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere" and "Do not have sexual relations with your father's sister; she is your father's close relative" and "Everyone who does any of these detestable things-such persons must be cut off from their people"

Doc: Well, what of it? Incest is a heinous crime and these laws make perfect moral and medical sense, don't they? This proves that the Bible was far ahead of its time.

Dirtnapper: But that's just it. Some of the heroes of the Bible violated this law and lived to tell about it. For example, Abraham married his half-sister, Sarah, and Moses's father married his father's sister, Jochebed, Moses's great-aunt. Why were they "not cut off from their people"?

Doc (triumphantly): Hah! They committed these acts BEFORE the law was given to Moses and so were not guilty of transgressing the law.

Dirtnapper: I see. But God talked directly to Abraham several times. If his laws and thoughts are immutable through the ages, why did he not warn him against such a wicked action? And why did God allow his prophet to be born of an incestuous union which he later expressly forbade?

Doc (mouth agape): ....

Ummm....alternate universes? Superstates? Quantum Sex!
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03-04-2013, 03:57 PM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(03-04-2013 12:31 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  The pop quiz that followed should have revealed the gag nature of my "teacher" status claim.
Sorry, didn't realize it was in jest. Carry on. Thumbsup

I am not accountable to any God. I am accountable to myself - and not because I think I am God as some theists would try to assert - but because, no matter what actions I take, thoughts I think, or words I utter, I have to be able to live with myself.
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04-04-2013, 06:49 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(03-04-2013 03:57 PM)Impulse Wrote:  
(03-04-2013 12:31 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  The pop quiz that followed should have revealed the gag nature of my "teacher" status claim.
Sorry, didn't realize it was in jest. Carry on. Thumbsup

With your permission then, and with apologies in advance:

Impulse: Doc, can I ask you a medical question?

Doc: How apposite you should ask! Did you know that I hold a second job as a physician?

Impulse (yawning): How fascinating. Anyway, you know the epileptic boy in Mark 9:17-29? The one whose father brought to the disciples first to heal? Why did Jesus have to perform an exorcism to heal the boy? Isn't epilepsy caused by an organic or metabolic problem?

Doc (patronizingly): Well, modern doctors don't know everything, do they? The Bible says that many illnesses are caused by demon possession as was apparently the case in this poor lad.

Impulse: But how do we know that the boy stayed cured after Jesus had passed through? Aren't seizures intermittent? Don't patients live normal lives in between seizures? Who followed up on the lad to ensure that the cure was permanent? And why were the disciples not able to heal the boy?

Doc: Well, you see, that particular type of demon could not be cast out except through prayer and fasting.

Impulse: And had the disciples fasted and prayed?

Doc: No.

Impulse: Then why did Jesus publicly scold the disciples for having too little faith since the demon would have refused to budge even if they had the faith to move mountains, because they had not fasted and prayed first? How long would they have to fast for, anyway? One meal? One day? And was it a short prayer or a long, flowery one that would drive the demon away? What other conditions must be fulfilled for other types of demons to be cast out? Why do we not hear of these demons now?

Doc: Don't be impertinent! The Bible says it was so and that's that!
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