Doc's bishopric Sunday School (Noun or adjective? One word or two?)
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 9 Votes - 4.22 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
16-05-2013, 08:36 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(16-05-2013 08:27 AM)Full Circle Wrote:  
(16-05-2013 07:01 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Revenant77x: Hey Doc I remember hearing about a gospel of Jesus as a kid. They said he was like Dennis the menace. What's up with that?

Doc, pleased to be discussing something other than Jesus’s genes: Ah, yes! You are no doubt talking about the infancy gospels such as the Infancy Gospel of Thomas, the Arabic Infancy Gospel and the Protoevangelium of James. But I fail to see the connection with this Dennis the Menace character that you mentioned. Jesus is a little willful maybe but never naughty or destructive.

Revenant77x: Doc, have you actually read the documents? Thomas makes the child Jesus out to be an enfant terrible. Just look at some examples:
A. Jesus makes clay sparrows come to life and has them fly away to destroy the evidence that he was working on the Sabbath.
B. Bringing a dead, salted fish back to life.
C. Withering a playmate for disturbing some pools of water and then relenting and restoring the boy back to life, except for “a small member” which remained withered (Doc winces).
D. Cursing his own father Joseph, for pulling his (Jesus's) ear.
E. Killing a child for bumping into his (Jesus's) shoulder.
F. Putting his teacher into a coma for knocking his (Jesus's) head.
G. A friend of his named Zeno, falls from the roof and dies. Being suspected of the foul deed, Jesus reanimates the corpse and has it proclaim that he (Jesus) was innocent.
H. Being proclaimed “king” by his friends, they forced passersby to come and “worship the king, that you may have a prosperous journey”. Perhaps he even collected protection money from the travelers, but it does not specifically say so.
I. Turning three of his friends into goat kids for hiding in an oven during a game of hide-and-seek.
J. Blinding some Jews for accusing him of breaking the Sabbath.

Doc (sweating): Mere childish pranks. Nothing more.

Revenant77x: If outlandish stories such as these could pass for gospel (no matter how briefly) and given credit by the church fathers, how do we know that the four accepted gospels are not more of the same? You think Rod Serling read Thomas's gospel before he made “It’s a Good Life”?

You're kidding right Doc..er Rev? You made this stuff up, it can't possibly be in the Holy Scriptures...is it? I need a toke.

Nope. Dead serious. Let me know if you need chapter and verse.
Doc
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
16-05-2013, 09:25 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(16-05-2013 08:36 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(16-05-2013 08:27 AM)Full Circle Wrote:  You're kidding right Doc..er Rev? You made this stuff up, it can't possibly be in the Holy Scriptures...is it? I need a toke.

Nope. Dead serious. Let me know if you need chapter and verse.
Doc

Sure, why not. I can always use more ammo when talking to my mother-in-law. Yes

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
16-05-2013, 10:15 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(16-05-2013 09:25 AM)Full Circle Wrote:  
(16-05-2013 08:36 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Nope. Dead serious. Let me know if you need chapter and verse.
Doc

Sure, why not. I can always use more ammo when talking to my mother-in-law. Yes

Here you go. Enjoy!

Some of the infancy gospels such as the Infancy Gospel of Thomas have both Greek and Latin versions. They are not identical with some stories being included or excluded in one version or the other.

A. Jesus makes clay sparrows come to life and has them fly away to destroy the evidence that he was working on the Sabbath. Gospel of Thomas, v.2 (Greek)
B. Bringing a dead, salted fish back to life. Gospel of Thomas 1:1 (Latin)
C. Withering a playmate for disturbing some pools of water and then relenting and restoring the boy back to life, except for “a small member” which remained withered (Doc winces). Gospel of Thomas 3: 2, 3 (Greek and Latin. The “small member” comment is only in a single Greek manuscript)
D. Cursing his own father Joseph, for pulling his (Jesus's) ear. Gospel of Thomas 5:2, 3 (Greek)
E. Killing a child for bumping into his (Jesus's) shoulder (some versions say that the child threw a stone at Jesus’s shoulder). Gospel of Thomas 4:1 (Greek and Latin)
F. Putting his teacher into a coma for knocking his (Jesus's) head. Gospel of Thomas 6:1, 2 (some versions have the teacher outwitted by Jesus and giving up his teaching position).
G. A friend of his named Zeno, falls from the roof and dies. Being suspected of the foul deed, Jesus reanimates the corpse and has it proclaim that he (Jesus) was innocent. Gospel of Thomas 9:1-3 (Greek and Latin)
H. Being proclaimed “king” by his friends, they forced passersby to come and “worship the king, that you may have a prosperous journey”. Perhaps he even collected protection money from the travelers, but it does not specifically say so. Arabic Infancy Gospel 1:41
I. Turning three of his friends into goat kids for hiding in an oven during a game of hide-and-seek. Arabic Infancy Gospel 1:40

Since there are so many translations in print and online, depending on what you read, the exact verses I named may not correspond to the numbers but the content should be the same.

Doc
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes docskeptic's post
16-05-2013, 10:52 AM
RE: DOC'S HOLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TEACH THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(16-05-2013 10:15 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(16-05-2013 09:25 AM)Full Circle Wrote:  Sure, why not. I can always use more ammo when talking to my mother-in-law. Yes

Here you go. Enjoy!

Some of the infancy gospels such as the Infancy Gospel of Thomas have both Greek and Latin versions. They are not identical with some stories being included or excluded in one version or the other.

A. Jesus makes clay sparrows come to life and has them fly away to destroy the evidence that he was working on the Sabbath. Gospel of Thomas, v.2 (Greek)
B. Bringing a dead, salted fish back to life. Gospel of Thomas 1:1 (Latin)
C. Withering a playmate for disturbing some pools of water and then relenting and restoring the boy back to life, except for “a small member” which remained withered (Doc winces). Gospel of Thomas 3: 2, 3 (Greek and Latin. The “small member” comment is only in a single Greek manuscript)
D. Cursing his own father Joseph, for pulling his (Jesus's) ear. Gospel of Thomas 5:2, 3 (Greek)
E. Killing a child for bumping into his (Jesus's) shoulder (some versions say that the child threw a stone at Jesus’s shoulder). Gospel of Thomas 4:1 (Greek and Latin)
F. Putting his teacher into a coma for knocking his (Jesus's) head. Gospel of Thomas 6:1, 2 (some versions have the teacher outwitted by Jesus and giving up his teaching position).
G. A friend of his named Zeno, falls from the roof and dies. Being suspected of the foul deed, Jesus reanimates the corpse and has it proclaim that he (Jesus) was innocent. Gospel of Thomas 9:1-3 (Greek and Latin)
H. Being proclaimed “king” by his friends, they forced passersby to come and “worship the king, that you may have a prosperous journey”. Perhaps he even collected protection money from the travelers, but it does not specifically say so. Arabic Infancy Gospel 1:41
I. Turning three of his friends into goat kids for hiding in an oven during a game of hide-and-seek. Arabic Infancy Gospel 1:40

Since there are so many translations in print and online, depending on what you read, the exact verses I named may not correspond to the numbers but the content should be the same.

Doc

Thanks Doc, I had heard of them in passing (damn I'm good remembering book and verse after only a brief exposure Smile ) and had heard a few of the stories but this is the stuff everyone should know. Shows just how crazy the death cult really was, and to a certain extent still is.

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Revenant77x's post
16-05-2013, 01:17 PM
RE: DAWG'S ECLECTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL
when digging around there does seem to be some strong resistance by many to disavow these stories of young jesus.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
17-05-2013, 07:15 AM (This post was last modified: 17-05-2013 07:19 AM by docskeptic.)
RE: DAWG'S ECLECTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL
(16-05-2013 01:17 PM)devilsadvoc8 Wrote:  when digging around there does seem to be some strong resistance by many to disavow these stories of young jesus.

Doc: Aw, shucks! That ain't nuthin'. The miracles that the child Jesus did were as nothng compared to some of the miracles that Jesus and his disciples did as adults and as documented in some of the pseudo-gospels.

Remember, in John 14:12 Jesus did promise that his disciples would not only perform similar miracles, but even greater ones. For example, John Calvin, the famous theologian, relates in his Treatise on Relics the following story, "St Vincent Ferrerius, celebrated for the great number of his miracles, was one day walking along a street in Barcelona, a mason, falling from a high roof, called for his assistance. The saint answered that he could not perform a miracle without the permission of his superior, but that he would go and ask for it. The mason remained, therefore, suspended in the air until St Vincent, returning with the permission, got him safely down on the ground." Isn't that amazing?

Devilsadvoc8: Oookay.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like docskeptic's post
17-05-2013, 12:24 PM
RE: DAWG'S ECLECTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL
(17-05-2013 07:15 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  The mason remained, therefore, suspended in the air until St Vincent, returning with the permission, got him safely down on the ground." Isn't that amazing?

Lucky for the bloke the superior was feelin' affable that day then what ? It'd've been a bit of a tight spot for him if St V had had to come back without permission and let him plummet to his death...
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
17-05-2013, 03:09 PM
RE: DAWG'S ECLECTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL
(17-05-2013 12:24 PM)morondog Wrote:  
(17-05-2013 07:15 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  The mason remained, therefore, suspended in the air until St Vincent, returning with the permission, got him safely down on the ground." Isn't that amazing?

Lucky for the bloke the superior was feelin' affable that day then what ? It'd've been a bit of a tight spot for him if St V had had to come back without permission and let him plummet to his death...

Doc: Oh, behave!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
18-05-2013, 07:18 AM
RE: DOC'S BALLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL
Doc: Class, turn to Luke 8:43-48 where we read about Jesus healing the woman with a flow of blood.

Morondog: Where was she bleeding from?

Doc (blushing): Well, Luke doesn't say, but we can take it for granted that she bled from... you know, down there.

All sniggering.

Doc: Silence! This poor woman had bled for 12 years and spent all that she had on doctors who signally failed to heal her. However, when she surreptitiously touched the hem of Jesus's cloak, she felt that she was instantaneously healed!

Morondog: Luke 8:42 says that Jesus was jostled from all sides and was "almost crushed" yet he still felt power flowing out of him when the woman touched him and turning around asked who touched him. The woman came forward trembling and fell at his feet, confessing all and had her healing confirmed.

Doc: Yes! Very good! That proves the divinity of Christ.

Morondog: But such a technique is also very popular among the faith healers and televangelists who just "know" that someone in the crowd or someone watching at home is suffering from a certain disease or has just received a miraculous cure and so solicit witnesses prompting a flood of responses affirming just that. Similarly, Jesus waited for the woman to come forward before pronouncing her cured. Moreover, the gospels say that the woman `felt' that she was healed. The original Greek word is "ginosko", which means to know, especially through personal experience. Since the woman's cure was instantaneous, how did she know through personal experience that she was indeed cured?

Doc: Do you speak French?

Morondog: No. Why?

Doc: No reason. (pause) MERDE!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like docskeptic's post
18-05-2013, 07:32 AM
RE: DOC'S BALLISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL
Merde is right! Sounds like this might have a good candidate for inclusion In a Marjoe-like documentary had there been filming back then.

Godless in the Magnolia State
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: