Doc's bishopric Sunday School (Noun or adjective? One word or two?)
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24-05-2013, 07:05 AM (This post was last modified: 24-05-2013 07:45 AM by docskeptic.)
RE: DOC'S DYSTOPIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE RESISTANCE IS FUTILE)
(21-05-2013 10:17 AM)JAH Wrote:  I just got revealed the answer, god itself is a stoner. I think I may go pray some more.

A.D. 95
Somewhere on an island in the Aegian Sea


God, passing the reefer back to John: So, Jo-Jo, as your editor, I must tell you that this new book of yours, The Revelation, you call it? I prefer the Apocalypse myself. Anyhoo, it lacks a certain je ne sais quoi. You need some pizzazz. Some oomph. You've got to give the readers what they want. Mystery, intrigue, violence and all that jazz. Look, I even came up with some lines for you.

In chapter 17, why not insert the following lines? "I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet coloured beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns. And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls, having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations and filthiness of her fornication. And upon her forehead was a name written, Mystery, Babylon The Great, The Mother Of Harlots And Abominations Of The Earth."

And how's this for chapter 9? "Then out of the smoke locusts came upon the earth. And to them was given power, as the scorpions of the earth have power. They were commanded not to harm the grass of the earth, or any green thing, or any tree, but only those men who do not have the seal of God on their foreheads. And they were not given authority to kill them, but to torment them for five months. Their torment was like the torment of a scorpion when it strikes a man."

What do you think? Eh? Eh?

John, dreamily: Whoa! I can hear the colors, man!
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24-05-2013, 10:39 AM
RE: DOC'S DYSTOPIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE RESISTANCE IS FUTILE)
(24-05-2013 07:05 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(21-05-2013 10:17 AM)JAH Wrote:  I just got revealed the answer, god itself is a stoner. I think I may go pray some more.

A.D. 95
Somewhere on an island in the Aegian Sea


God, passing the reefer back to John: So, Jo-Jo, as your editor, I must tell you that this new book of yours, The Revelation, you call it? I prefer the Apocalypse myself. Anyhoo, it lacks a certain je ne sais quoi. You need some pizzazz. Some oomph. You've got to give the readers what they want. Mystery, intrigue, violence and all that jazz. Look, I even came up with some lines for you.

In chapter 17, why not insert the following lines? "I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet coloured beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns. And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls, having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations and filthiness of her fornication. And upon her forehead was a name written, Mystery, Babylon The Great, The Mother Of Harlots And Abominations Of The Earth."

And how's this for chapter 9? "Then out of the smoke locusts came upon the earth. And to them was given power, as the scorpions of the earth have power. They were commanded not to harm the grass of the earth, or any green thing, or any tree, but only those men who do not have the seal of God on their foreheads. And they were not given authority to kill them, but to torment them for five months. Their torment was like the torment of a scorpion when it strikes a man."

What do you think? Eh? Eh?

John, dreamily: Whoa! I can hear the colors, man!

I dunno Doc, I think the Ancients were more into huffing ethylene for their prognostications.
http://news.discovery.com/history/archae...121205.htm

Granted Soothsayers were a dime a dozen, even though that kind of thing is clearly verboten No I do find it funny that the Fundies base their entire religious outlook on this book that was almost always considered apocryphal until over 100 years after the rest of the new testament.
Book Of Revelation

It's literary worth is next to nothing between it's unknown authorship and confused narrative. One thing it is typically Greek, as in greek mystery cult. Remove Jesus from the book add in Jason or Hercules and the narrative works just as well.

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25-05-2013, 01:38 AM
RE: DOC'S PROBABILISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TAKE OUR CHANCES)
doc, I will admit my name is John but it really is Jah rastafari so be careful.

I need education on my namesake book (not John the Baptist). I have been led (falsely I assume) to believe that it is full of conflicts with some of the other disciples. I would ask your erudition on this subject.

Oh and pass the reefer.
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25-05-2013, 02:53 AM
RE: DORK'S UNHYGIENIC SUNDAY SCHOOL
(22-05-2013 06:23 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Mark Fulton: Doc, you know that woman we talked about recently, the one with menometrorrhagia?

Doc (startled): Meno-WHAT?

Mark Fulton (sighing): Abnormal vaginal bleeding, then. We don't know anything about this woman, so we don't know for sure that she even had the condition, do we?

Doc: Au contraire. All three synoptic gospel writers record it, so it must be true.

Mark Fulton: I see. This was a self-reported diagnosis, then, was it? With no names or other details provided, there is no way to confirm the story, is there? What if the woman or the gospel writers made up the story? Also, by definition, menometrorrhagia is intermittent; otherwise the woman would have bled to death long before she met Jesus.

Doc: So?

Mark Fulton: So, how do we know that what she "felt" as a cure was not a temporary cessation in her bleeding, which resumed after Jesus had passed on? Was she examined by a physician after the "cure"? Also, interestingly, this episode happened immediately after Matthew was recruited as a disciple.

Doc: Again, so?

Mark Fulton: So, one would have thought that the events of the day would have created a most indelible image in his mind. Yet he provides the shortest version, just 2 verses, while Mark, a non-witness, takes 9 verses to describe the same event, and Luke, another non-witness, takes 5 verses. How is it that non-witnesses can provide a longer, more detailed description of an event than a witness?

Doc, guessing wildly: Divine inspiration? Paranormal activity? ESP?

Mark Fulton: Try literary license.

Hey doc,

you're assuming Matthew, the chap in the gospels, wrote "Matthew" the gospel. Really, I would've thought you knew better than that. Actually...I know you're only pretending.

Love the discussion about John. Are you sure he was a reefer smoker? I've always imagined him sipping on mushroom soup.
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25-05-2013, 03:30 AM
RE: DOC'S PROBABILISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TAKE OUR CHANCES)
(25-05-2013 02:53 AM)Mark Fulton Wrote:  
(22-05-2013 06:23 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Mark Fulton: Doc, you know that woman we talked about recently, the one with menometrorrhagia?

Doc (startled): Meno-WHAT?

Mark Fulton (sighing): Abnormal vaginal bleeding, then. We don't know anything about this woman, so we don't know for sure that she even had the condition, do we?

Doc: Au contraire. All three synoptic gospel writers record it, so it must be true.

Mark Fulton: I see. This was a self-reported diagnosis, then, was it? With no names or other details provided, there is no way to confirm the story, is there? What if the woman or the gospel writers made up the story? Also, by definition, menometrorrhagia is intermittent; otherwise the woman would have bled to death long before she met Jesus.

Doc: So?

Mark Fulton: So, how do we know that what she "felt" as a cure was not a temporary cessation in her bleeding, which resumed after Jesus had passed on? Was she examined by a physician after the "cure"? Also, interestingly, this episode happened immediately after Matthew was recruited as a disciple.

Doc: Again, so?

Mark Fulton: So, one would have thought that the events of the day would have created a most indelible image in his mind. Yet he provides the shortest version, just 2 verses, while Mark, a non-witness, takes 9 verses to describe the same event, and Luke, another non-witness, takes 5 verses. How is it that non-witnesses can provide a longer, more detailed description of an event than a witness?

Doc, guessing wildly: Divine inspiration? Paranormal activity? ESP?

Mark Fulton: Try literary license.

Hey doc,

you're assuming Matthew, the chap in the gospels, wrote "Matthew" the gospel. Really, I would've thought you knew better than that. Actually...I know you're only pretending.

Love the discussion about John. Are you sure he was a reefer smoker? I've always imagined him sipping on mushroom soup.

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"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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25-05-2013, 04:44 AM
RE: DOC'S PROBABILISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TAKE OUR CHANCES)
Doc,
Can you kindly refer me to a Sunday School ?
I'm looking for a Quantum Sunday School so I can both be there, and not be, in class at the same time.
Thenks awfully.
Buck.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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25-05-2013, 07:15 AM
RE: DOC'S PROBABILISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TAKE OUR CHANCES)
(25-05-2013 04:44 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  Doc,
Can you kindly refer me to a Sunday School ?
I'm looking for a Quantum Sunday School so I can both be there, and not be, in class at the same time.
Thenks awfully.
Buck.

Bucky, m'lad. You want Professor Schrodinger's class, down the corridor, to your left and right.
Doc
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25-05-2013, 07:18 AM
RE: DOC'S PROBABILISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TAKE OUR CHANCES)
I dunno, in Professor Schrodinger's class, you might be dead and alive at the same time with cats...

Godless in the Magnolia State
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25-05-2013, 09:34 AM
RE: DOC'S PROBABILISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TAKE OUR CHANCES)
(25-05-2013 07:18 AM)cjs Wrote:  I dunno, in Professor Schrodinger's class, you might be dead and alive at the same time with cats...

No prob. I'll just sit in a box, with the following sign :

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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25-05-2013, 10:39 AM
RE: DOC'S PROBABILISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TAKE OUR CHANCES)
Tried to post laughing emoticons but no luck, anyhow LMAO!

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