Doc's bishopric Sunday School (Noun or adjective? One word or two?)
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 9 Votes - 4.22 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
25-05-2013, 05:11 PM
RE: DOC'S PROBABILISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TAKE OUR CHANCES)
Bucky Ball: Hey Doc, can we revisit the miracles of Jesus again? In Luke 7:11-16, we read that Jesus leaves Capernaum and goes to a small town called Nain. On reaching the town gate, he happens across a funeral. The only son of a widow has died and is being carried out of the city in a coffin.

Doc (hastily putting away his bottle of "communion wine" and wiping his mouth): Yes, yes, what of it? Having compassion on the widow, he touched the boy's bier and lo and behold, the boy came back to life.

Bucky Ball: Could the boy have been in a coma and revived just as Jesus touched the bier?

Doc: Nope. It is highly improbable that the young man's bier was not only encountered by Jesus, but that he would also snap out of his coma at the precise moment when Jesus touched his coffin. Besides, this explanation would also have to account for the raising of the ruler's young daughter and of Lazarus.

Bucky Ball: Granted. The problem is that Nain was never surrounded by a wall (archeological studies have never turned up even the suggestion of one) and hence could not have had a town gate. If Luke can make up a historical detail like the town gate of Nain, there is no reason why the rest of the story may not be fabricated as well. We must also consider the possibility of outright fraud. Knowing that he would be leaving Capernaum and entering Nain with his disciples and a large crowd, what could be simpler for Jesus than to arrange for a young man, preferably the son of a widow to increase the sympathy value, to "die"? Perhaps the young man was in want and received some form of compensation for his role in the episode. A naturalistic solution is always to be preferred over a miraculous one.

Doc: मैं अंग्रेज़ी नहीं बोलता.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
25-05-2013, 05:54 PM
RE: DOC'S PROBABILISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TAKE OUR CHANCES)
(25-05-2013 05:11 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  Bucky Ball: Hey Doc, can we revisit the miracles of Jesus again? In Luke 7:11-16, we read that Jesus leaves Capernaum and goes to a small town called Nain. On reaching the town gate, he happens across a funeral. The only son of a widow has died and is being carried out of the city in a coffin.

Doc (hastily putting away his bottle of "communion wine" and wiping his mouth): Yes, yes, what of it? Having compassion on the widow, he touched the boy's bier and lo and behold, the boy came back to life.

Bucky Ball: Could the boy have been in a coma and revived just as Jesus touched the bier?

Doc: Nope. It is highly improbable that the young man's bier was not only encountered by Jesus, but that he would also snap out of his coma at the precise moment when Jesus touched his coffin. Besides, this explanation would also have to account for the raising of the ruler's young daughter and of Lazarus.

Bucky Ball: Granted. The problem is that Nain was never surrounded by a wall (archeological studies have never turned up even the suggestion of one) and hence could not have had a town gate. If Luke can make up a historical detail like the town gate of Nain, there is no reason why the rest of the story may not be fabricated as well. We must also consider the possibility of outright fraud. Knowing that he would be leaving Capernaum and entering Nain with his disciples and a large crowd, what could be simpler for Jesus than to arrange for a young man, preferably the son of a widow to increase the sympathy value, to "die"? Perhaps the young man was in want and received some form of compensation for his role in the episode. A naturalistic solution is always to be preferred over a miraculous one.

Doc: मैं अंग्रेज़ी नहीं बोलता.

It was a magical age. Miracles were ubiquitous. Lots people running around doing them. All they had to do was write about it, and it would have been par for the course. No need to hire a "waker-upper".

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Bucky Ball's post
25-05-2013, 05:56 PM
RE: DOC'S PROBABILISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TAKE OUR CHANCES)
(25-05-2013 05:54 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  
(25-05-2013 05:11 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  Bucky Ball: Hey Doc, can we revisit the miracles of Jesus again? In Luke 7:11-16, we read that Jesus leaves Capernaum and goes to a small town called Nain. On reaching the town gate, he happens across a funeral. The only son of a widow has died and is being carried out of the city in a coffin.

Doc (hastily putting away his bottle of "communion wine" and wiping his mouth): Yes, yes, what of it? Having compassion on the widow, he touched the boy's bier and lo and behold, the boy came back to life.

Bucky Ball: Could the boy have been in a coma and revived just as Jesus touched the bier?

Doc: Nope. It is highly improbable that the young man's bier was not only encountered by Jesus, but that he would also snap out of his coma at the precise moment when Jesus touched his coffin. Besides, this explanation would also have to account for the raising of the ruler's young daughter and of Lazarus.

Bucky Ball: Granted. The problem is that Nain was never surrounded by a wall (archeological studies have never turned up even the suggestion of one) and hence could not have had a town gate. If Luke can make up a historical detail like the town gate of Nain, there is no reason why the rest of the story may not be fabricated as well. We must also consider the possibility of outright fraud. Knowing that he would be leaving Capernaum and entering Nain with his disciples and a large crowd, what could be simpler for Jesus than to arrange for a young man, preferably the son of a widow to increase the sympathy value, to "die"? Perhaps the young man was in want and received some form of compensation for his role in the episode. A naturalistic solution is always to be preferred over a miraculous one.

Doc: मैं अंग्रेज़ी नहीं बोलता.

It was a magical age. Miracles were ubiquitous. Lots people running around doing them. All they had to do was write about it, and it would have been par for the course. No need to hire a "waker-upper".

Crazy shit was always going on the next town over or two days walk west or some other place. Never where you were but everywhere else it seems. Funny how the number of miracles really dropped off with the invention of the camera.

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Revenant77x's post
25-05-2013, 06:23 PM
DOC'S PROBABILISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TAKE OUR CHANCES)
(25-05-2013 05:11 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  Doc: मैं अंग्रेज़ी नहीं बोलता.

मैं हिंदी में बात नहीं करते.

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! -Brian's mum
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Cardinal Smurf's post
25-05-2013, 06:26 PM
RE: DOC'S PROBABILISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TAKE OUR CHANCES)
तुम लोग मजाक कर रहे हैं !

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Full Circle's post
25-05-2013, 10:59 PM
RE: DOC'S PROBABILISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TAKE OUR CHANCES)
Hey wait a minute what is it with all this greek shit. I want my bible in the pure unadulterated english. The language it was written in. Or at least the language it was perfected in.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes JAH's post
25-05-2013, 11:12 PM
RE: DOC'S PROBABILISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TAKE OUR CHANCES)
(25-05-2013 10:59 PM)JAH Wrote:  Hey wait a minute what is it with all this greek shit. I want my bible in the pure unadulterated english. The language it was written in. Or at least the language it was perfected in.

If'n English was gud enuf fer Lord Jesus it's gud enuf fer da likes o' yoots!

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Revenant77x's post
26-05-2013, 06:41 AM
RE: DOC'S PROBABILISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TAKE OUR CHANCES)
Yes, didn't Jebus speak early modern English? He said thee, thou, and hast, and other fancy words!

Godless in the Magnolia State
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
26-05-2013, 07:15 AM
RE: DOC'S PROBABILISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE TAKE OUR CHANCES)
Bucky Ball: It was a magical age. Miracles were ubiquitous. Lots people running around doing them. All they had to do was write about it, and it would have been par for the course. No need to hire a "waker-upper".

Doc: Bucky, what a clever boy you are, to be sure. It was a magical age. It was really quite easy to raise someone up from the dead.

Bucky Ball: Really? I spoke in jest.

Doc: Yes, really. See, in 2 Kings 13:20-21, we read that after the prophet Elisha dies, he was buried in an undisclosed location. Moabite raiders annually raided the country, and on one occasion some Israelites were burying a body when they spy a band of raiders on the horizon. They hastily throw the body into Elisha's tomb and retreat. When the body touches Elisha's bones, the man comes back to life and stands up!

Bucky Ball: But that means that no desire or volition was necessary on the part of the resurrector or the resurrectee!

Doc: That's right! So this may be an even greater miracle than Jesus's! All we need to do then, is find a prophet's bones and use them to restore the dead to life!

Bucky Ball: What happened to the man? Did he escape the raiders? If so, why did his family not use the bones to bring others to life? If not, what was the purpose of his resurrection? What was the actual re-animating principle - the bones or something within the bones?

Doc (sheepishly): No one knows. For being one of a handful of resurrectees, the man was rather abruptly dismissed from the pages of the Bible.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes docskeptic's post
26-05-2013, 09:39 AM
RE: DOC'S POLYAROMATIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (ITS A GAS!)
Ya ya ya. I'm more concerned with polyaromatics. They aren't all gasses now are they ? What about liquid Benzene ? What about ... um ... "poppers" ?

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: