Doc's bishopric Sunday School (Noun or adjective? One word or two?)
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07-06-2013, 05:58 PM
RE: DOC'S HEURISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE'RE NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS)
That's what George Carlin wondered in his Religion is Bullshit sketch. "He's sending you to hell...but he loves you! And he needs money!"
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08-06-2013, 09:31 AM (This post was last modified: 08-06-2013 03:39 PM by docskeptic.)
RE: DOC'S HEURISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE'RE NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS)
Erxomai: Dude, I have a question about the genealogy of Christ.

Doc: Yes?

Erxomai: 1 Chronicles 2 lists Amaziah, the king of Judah as an ancestor of Christ.

Doc: Yes, 2 Chronicles 25:1 says that "Amaziah was twenty-five years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem twenty-nine years. His mother's name was Jehoaddan; she was from Jerusalem. He did what was right in the eyes of the LORD, but not wholeheartedly." This was because he killed the servants who assassinated his father, Joash. Verse 4 says that "he did not put their children to death, but acted in accordance with what is written in the Law, in the Book of Moses, where the LORD commanded: "Parents shall not be put to death for their children, nor children be put to death for their parents; each will die for their own sin.""

Erxomai: But later in the chapter we read that "Amaziah then marshaled his strength and led his army to the Valley of Salt, where he killed ten thousand men of Seir. The army of Judah also captured ten thousand men alive, took them to the top of a cliff and threw them down so that all were dashed to pieces."

Also 2 Chronicles 26:4 says that after Amaziah died, his son Uzziah reigned in his stead and "he did what was right in the eyes of the LORD, just as his father Amaziah had done." Do war crimes then count as doing "what is right in the eyes of the Lord"? How can such a man be the ancestor of Christ?
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08-06-2013, 03:27 PM
RE: DOC'S HEURISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE'RE NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS)
More importantly, how can anyone keep the names straight? This is almost as confusing as Tudor history, when everyone was named Thomas, Henry, Jane, Anne, and Elizabeth.
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08-06-2013, 03:34 PM
RE: DOC'S HEURISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE'RE NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS)
(08-06-2013 09:31 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  ....The army of Judah also captured ten thousand men alive, took them to the top of a cliff and threw them down so that all were dashed to pieces.

Also 2 Chronicles 26:4 says that after Amaziah died, his son Uzziah reigned in his stead and "he did what was right in the eyes of the LORD, just as his father Amaziah had done." Do war crimes then count as doing "what is right in the eyes of the Lord"? How can such a man be the ancestor of Christ?

If we're talking about "the Lord" of the Old Testament, that seems par for the course. This is the same Lord that ordered the execution of everybody in Jericho and all of the Midianites, and also personally killed everyone but Noah with a flood. Killing 10K POW's? That's pretty tame in comparison.

Good eye, though. I wouldn't have caught that.

My girlfriend is mad at me. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried cooking a stick in her non-stick pan.
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09-06-2013, 09:32 AM
RE: DOC'S HEURISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE'RE NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS)
JAH raising his hand in the stoners row asks a question.

Doc, there are so many pages now I cannot go through them, but I think a long time ago I asked a question about all the magic numbers in revelations and I do not think I got an answer.

At the end of July I will be in a serious poker game. I need to know my magic numbers or I may lose some serious money. I need your biblical help.
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10-06-2013, 10:56 AM (This post was last modified: 10-06-2013 11:00 AM by docskeptic.)
RE: DOC'S BALSAMIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE'RE FULL OF VIM AND VINEGAR)
Doc: JAH, The book of Revelation is on the curriculum for next semester. Meanwhile, it may interest you to learn that Revelation is the only book in the NT that has a physical description in it. In chapter 1:13-15, John gives a detailed description of the resurrected Jesus. It appears to be the only description of any kind that we have of Jesus.

JAH: I read that portion. It makes it sound as if Jesus looked like Jon Bon Jovi. Besides, there is a persistent rumor of a portrait of Jesus floating around somewhere.

Doc, fascinated: Do tell.

JAH: Yes. Eusebius tells the story in his Church History. Late in his career, Jesus was approached by an embassy from the king of Edessa, Abgar V who was desperately ill. He had heard of Jesus's healing skills and was sure that Jesus could heal him. Eusebius’s book contains the correspondence between Abgar and Jesus. In the only writing that supposedly comes from the hand of Jesus, he regretfully declines the king's invitation to visit but does promise to send a representative. Eventually Thaddeus (or Addai) is sent to Edessa after the death of Jesus, cures the king, and converts the city to Christianity.

Doc: That's all well and good, but what's this about a portrait?

JAH: I'm getting to it. In Eusebius's account, no mention is made of a portrait. However, the Doctrine of Addai, a later retelling of the story, contains the first explicit report of a portrait of Jesus (in verse 13) which was painted by Hannan, Abgar's ambassador, to carry back to his lord, in lieu of Jesus himself. An even later story by Evagrius elaborates the incident to make the image a divine creation. Apparently, Jesus takes a piece of cloth and presses it to his face, impressing on it the image of his face. This image was widely venerated and many miracles were attributed to it. One can then clearly trace the development of a legend as follows:
a. No mention of Abgar V or a portrait in the gospels.
b. Abgar V, but no portrait mentioned in Eusebius (4th century CE)
c. Abgar V and a painted portrait of Jesus (Doctrine of Addai, possibly early 5th century, CE)
d. Abgar V and a miraculous image of Jesus (Evagrius of Edessa, 536-600 CE).
Could not the other stories of Jesus be legends as well?
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10-06-2013, 11:25 AM
RE: DOC'S BALSAMIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE'RE FULL OF VIM AND VINEGAR)
Damn it doc I need numbers. Should I draw to an inside straight, should I fold my 3 6's. I need help here. Not some nonsense about Eusebius or Abgar. I need to know my numbers and I refuse to wait for next semester. I am out of here as soon as I graduate.

With your permission, of course.
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10-06-2013, 02:47 PM
RE: DOC'S BALSAMIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE'RE FULL OF VIM AND VINEGAR)
Aren't there lots of 7s and 666s?

Godless in the Magnolia State
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10-06-2013, 04:25 PM
RE: DOC'S BALSAMIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE'RE FULL OF VIM AND VINEGAR)
Oh doc, do not use the words legend, myth or story again. I am a most faithful student in your class, even if I am up in the stoners row smoking when I can get it.

The words legend, myth and story imply that one may question the one true word of god, we mere mortals may not, even if Thor can. And don't introduce this side stuff like Abgar and Eusebius they ain't in the damn bible. Stick to the damn bible.

Besides damn it I need my lucky numbers, you may force me to rely on probability. If I throw away a pair of kings to draw to a flush and miss it that will be on your hands.

Oh and please excuse the harsh language. doc you know I need this class to graduate.
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10-06-2013, 08:13 PM
RE: DOC'S BALSAMIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE'RE FULL OF VIM AND VINEGAR)
(10-06-2013 04:25 PM)JAH Wrote:  Besides damn it I need my lucky numbers, you may force me to rely on probability. If I throw away a pair of kings to draw to a flush and miss it that will be on your hands.

I'm pretty sure God wants you to toss the Urim and Thummim, the Old Testament version of the Magic 8 Ball.

My girlfriend is mad at me. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried cooking a stick in her non-stick pan.
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