Doc's bishopric Sunday School (Noun or adjective? One word or two?)
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23-12-2013, 03:18 PM
RE: DOC'S MASOCHISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE ARE TAUGHT THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(23-12-2013 03:16 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(23-12-2013 12:25 PM)Chas Wrote:  Chas pipes up from the back of the room: I find "shot escaping" quite useful.

Ja, ja. Das ist gut. I also like "intelligent design". Any other favorites?

Doc

Results Negative, something Josef may have been interested in hearing.

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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24-12-2013, 08:35 AM (This post was last modified: 24-12-2013 09:00 AM by docskeptic.)
RE: DOC'S MASOCHISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE ARE TAUGHT THE WHOLE BIBLE)
Doc, shaken and stirred: I don't feel well. I think I'll have a vodka martini. There will be no class today.

Revenant: Everything OK?

Doc: I just read a passage that made me upset. See, in 2 Kings 12, it tells how David defeated the Ammonites. Then he "brought out the people who were there, consigning them to labor with saws and with iron picks and axes, and he made them work at brickmaking. He did this to all the Ammonite towns."

Revenant: So? That seems pretty humane for an Iron Age king. Normally, the victors would massacre the survivors.

Doc: But that's just it. I just read you the NIV version of events. The literal Hebrew says something else. Here's the Douay-Rheims version of the passage: "And bringing forth the people thereof he sawed them, and drove over them chariots armed with iron: and divided them with knives, and made them pass through brickkilns: so did he to all the cities of the children of Ammon."

How can a hero of the Bible behave in such a brutal fashion? And why does the NIV bowdlerize such a horrendous passage?

Revenant: Doesn't Acts 13:22 call David "a man after God's own heart"?

Doc, hiccuping: Yes.

Revenant: Well, there you are then!
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24-12-2013, 01:50 PM
RE: DOC'S MASOCHISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE ARE TAUGHT THE WHOLE BIBLE)
Damn. I though it was Whipping Sunday.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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24-12-2013, 10:27 PM (This post was last modified: 24-12-2013 10:30 PM by Vosur.)
RE: DOC'S MASOCHISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE ARE TAUGHT THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(24-12-2013 08:35 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  See, in 2 Kings 12, it tells how David defeated the Ammonites. Then he "brought out the people who were there, consigning them to labor with saws and with iron picks and axes, and he made them work at brickmaking. He did this to all the Ammonite towns."
Einspruch! That's 2 Samuel 12:30-31, not 2 Kings 12. Smartass

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25-12-2013, 01:11 AM
RE: DOC'S MASOCHISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE ARE TAUGHT THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(24-12-2013 10:27 PM)Vosur Wrote:  
(24-12-2013 08:35 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  See, in 2 Kings 12, it tells how David defeated the Ammonites. Then he "brought out the people who were there, consigning them to labor with saws and with iron picks and axes, and he made them work at brickmaking. He did this to all the Ammonite towns."
Einspruch! That's 2 Samuel 12:30-31, not 2 Kings 12. Smartass

Vosur, I...I'm speechless. I didn't think anyone actually read these posts. You are correct. The reference should have read 2 Samuel 12:30-31, not 2 Kings. You are, of course, exempt from future pop quizzes.

The cognate portion in 1 Chronicles is in chapter 20, verse 3 with the same bowdlerization by the NIV as compared to, say, the KJV.

Shamefacedly yours,

Doc
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25-12-2013, 01:35 AM
RE: DOC'S MASOCHISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE ARE TAUGHT THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(24-12-2013 08:35 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  ...
How can a hero of the Bible behave in such a brutal fashion?
...

How do you know what actually happened?

WERE YOU THERE? Angry

Anyway, what's the problem with dividing them with knives?

How else could David have done a proper study of them?
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25-12-2013, 08:44 AM
RE: DOC'S MASOCHISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE ARE TAUGHT THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(25-12-2013 01:35 AM)DLJ Wrote:  WERE YOU THERE? Angry



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25-12-2013, 08:00 PM
RE: DOC'S MASOCHISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE ARE TAUGHT THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(25-12-2013 01:11 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(24-12-2013 10:27 PM)Vosur Wrote:  Einspruch! That's 2 Samuel 12:30-31, not 2 Kings 12. Smartass

Vosur, I...I'm speechless. I didn't think anyone actually read these posts. You are correct. The reference should have read 2 Samuel 12:30-31, not 2 Kings. You are, of course, exempt from future pop quizzes.

The cognate portion in 1 Chronicles is in chapter 20, verse 3 with the same bowdlerization by the NIV as compared to, say, the KJV.

Shamefacedly yours,

Doc

Hey! He cheated! I saw him Googling it. Angry

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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25-12-2013, 08:05 PM
RE: DOC'S MASOCHISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE ARE TAUGHT THE WHOLE BIBLE)
(25-12-2013 08:00 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(25-12-2013 01:11 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Vosur, I...I'm speechless. I didn't think anyone actually read these posts. You are correct. The reference should have read 2 Samuel 12:30-31, not 2 Kings. You are, of course, exempt from future pop quizzes.

The cognate portion in 1 Chronicles is in chapter 20, verse 3 with the same bowdlerization by the NIV as compared to, say, the KJV.

Shamefacedly yours,

Doc

Hey! He cheated! I saw him Googling it. Angry

Shhhh you know Doc doesn't believe in the internet. Says it is just a hoax like the "moon landing" or "gravity".

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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26-12-2013, 12:28 PM
RE: DOC'S MASOCHISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE ARE TAUGHT THE WHOLE BIBLE)
Vosur: Doc, I have a problem with some of the duplicate passages in the Bible. Earlier, you mentioned cognate passages in Samuel and Kings. Did you know that there are numerous duplicate passages in the Bible? Look at 2 Sam. 22 and Psalm 18, for example. They are essentially identical.

Doc: A problem, eh? This looks like a job for...(slipping into the closet and stepping out a few minutes later in a mask, skin-tight outfit and cape) Eisegesis Man! What's your problem?

Vosur: Why are there duplicate passages in the first place? Isn't that a waste of scriptural "real estate" that could have been filled with other useful scriptures dealing with, say, slavery and rape? Also, why are there so many discrepancies between passages describing the same event? For example, 2 Sam. 10:18 says David slew 700 chariot men while 1 Chron. 19:18 says the number was 7000.

Eisegesis Man: It's very simple, you see. Bible scholars say that God gave us these deuterographs so we can compare accounts and come up with a composite, full-fledged story.

Vosur: What about passages that don't have a duplicate? How do we know that they are accurate if we have nothing to compare them against?

Eisegesis Man: Ah, there we have to trust to God's providence. Why is it so cold in here?

Vosur: Ummm... Doc, you forgot your tights...again.
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