Doc's bishopric Sunday School (Noun or adjective? One word or two?)
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23-01-2014, 07:39 PM
DOC'S THERAPEUTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (BLOWING OFF STEAM SINCE 2013)
(23-01-2014 07:32 PM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  
(23-01-2014 07:16 PM)Cardinal Smurf Wrote:  I would definitely pirate such a film! You may be on to something.

I'm not joking sadly, it really is a film. Saw it on Netflix. Only bad thing is that there is musical numbers in it (not a full on musical). It ranks as bad as Thankskilling, Rubber (a killer car tire), and Leprechaun 3: In da Hood.
Don't judge me... my friend makes me watch this shit

You poor soul. You know, there are Geneva Conventions restricting such forms of torture. Seek asylum!

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! -Brian's mum
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23-01-2014, 08:33 PM
RE: DOC'S THERAPEUTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (BLOWING OFF STEAM SINCE 2013)
(23-01-2014 07:39 PM)Cardinal Smurf Wrote:  
(23-01-2014 07:32 PM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  I'm not joking sadly, it really is a film. Saw it on Netflix. Only bad thing is that there is musical numbers in it (not a full on musical). It ranks as bad as Thankskilling, Rubber (a killer car tire), and Leprechaun 3: In da Hood.
Don't judge me... my friend makes me watch this shit

You poor soul. You know, there are Geneva Conventions restricting such forms of torture. Seek asylum!

I've tried... but it's like Stockholm syndrome... I have to watch because it's so bad, only after the movie is over do I realize what I've done! Weeping

Atir aissom atir imon
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24-01-2014, 12:45 PM (This post was last modified: 24-01-2014 01:07 PM by docskeptic.)
RE: DOC'S TRES CHIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT'S ALL THE RAGE, DARLING)
(23-01-2014 12:13 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Message from Head Teach:

Doc, It's metaphor. They couldn't exactly come out with it and say that Mary gave Jesus a blowjob, can they?

So they made up an elaborate story which for those in the know, would have had that hidden meaning.

Get on with your job!

DLJ,
You're having me on. There's no documentation that Jesus ever had sexual relations with anyone.

Having said that, he did shower Mary Magdalene with special attention. See what the Gospel of Philip says, "There were three who always walked with the Lord: Mary, his mother, and her sister, and Magdalene, the one who was called his companion. His sister and his mother and his companion were each a Mary... And the companion of the [Lord was] Mary Magdalene. [He] loved her more than all the disciples, and used to kiss her often on her mouth." Platonic, I call it.

Also, we read in the Gospel of Jesus's Wife of Jesus referring to someone (possibly Mary Magdalene) as "his wife". That virtually eliminates the possibility of any sexual relations whatsoever between the two.

QED

Doc
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24-01-2014, 01:36 PM
RE: DOC'S TRES CHIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT'S ALL THE RAGE, DARLING)
(23-01-2014 07:16 PM)Cardinal Smurf Wrote:  
(23-01-2014 12:16 PM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  Why not? Would make things a lot more interesting...

Kind of like the movie Jesus Christ: Vampire Slayer where all the vampires are hot lesbian atheists. Come on... that shit sells

I would definitely pirate such a film! You may be on to something.

Here ya go.



Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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24-01-2014, 01:52 PM
RE: DOC'S TRES CHIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT'S ALL THE RAGE, DARLING)
(24-01-2014 01:36 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(23-01-2014 07:16 PM)Cardinal Smurf Wrote:  I would definitely pirate such a film! You may be on to something.

Here ya go.



Thank you Chas, I didn't even think about looking for a trailer... didn't think they'd bother to make one Laugh out load

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27-01-2014, 06:00 PM
DOC'S TRES CHIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT'S ALL THE RAGE, DARLING)
(24-01-2014 01:36 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(23-01-2014 07:16 PM)Cardinal Smurf Wrote:  I would definitely pirate such a film! You may be on to something.

Here ya go.



Bucking Frilliant! Amazeballs!

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27-01-2014, 06:10 PM
RE: DOC'S TRES CHIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT'S ALL THE RAGE, DARLING)
DOC'S TRES CHIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT'S ALL THE RAGE, DARLING)

Oooh la la.

The young man in Mark who ran away, (naked) would be jealous about this wife shit.
Didn't the Gospel of Thomas suggest they turn Mary M. into a guy, so she could be fully involved in the "mysteries".
BTW, IF Jesus was a (routine) "Rabbi", he would have been THE ONLY one in history back then, NOT to have been married.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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29-01-2014, 10:15 AM (This post was last modified: 29-01-2014 10:32 AM by docskeptic.)
RE: DOC'S SEMIOTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL
(27-01-2014 06:10 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  Oooh la la.

The young man in Mark who ran away, (naked) would be jealous about this wife shit.
Didn't the Gospel of Thomas suggest they turn Mary M. into a guy, so she could be be fully involved in the "mysteries".

Doc: *gasp* Bucky, what are you implying? The young man who fled away naked at Jesus' arrest simply left his tunic behind, that's all. Just because Jesus was surrounded by male disciples, whom he loved and who used to lean on his breast, is no reason to infer anything further from this incident.

Now, regarding the Magdalene. It is true that Simon Peter did not get along very well with her. In the Pistis Sophia, we read that he asked Jesus to basically tell her to shut up so that he and the other male disciples could get a word in edge-wise.

Peter said: "My Lord, let the women cease to question, in order that we also may question."

Jesus said unto Mary and the women: "Give opportunity to your men brethren, that they also may question."


Jesus no doubt loved Mary very much, but since heaven is an exclusively male destination, in the gospel of Thomas he does imply that he would change Mary into a male to rebuke Simon Peter who said,

"Let Mary leave us, for women are not worthy of life."

Jesus said, "I myself shall lead her in order to make her male, so that she too may become a living spirit resembling you males. For every woman who will make herself male will enter the kingdom of heaven."

Bucky: So no women are allowed in heaven? And they don't have living spirits like we males do?

Doc: Shhhh! The internet might hear you.
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29-01-2014, 10:53 AM
RE: DOC'S SEMAPHORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (SIGNALLING GOD'S LOVE SINCE 2013)
I bet jesus did get a blow-job or two....or maybe 12? Ever think it might have been part of initiation to follow him?


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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29-01-2014, 10:58 AM
RE: DOC'S SEMAPHORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (SIGNALLING GOD'S LOVE SINCE 2013)
(29-01-2014 10:53 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  I bet jesus did get a blow-job or two....or maybe 12? Ever think it might have been part of initiation to follow him?

That would make him a Catholic wouldn't it?

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