Doc's bishopric Sunday School (Noun or adjective? One word or two?)
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29-01-2014, 11:22 AM
RE: DOC'S SEMAPHORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (SIGNALLING GOD'S LOVE SINCE 2013)
(29-01-2014 10:58 AM)Full Circle Wrote:  
(29-01-2014 10:53 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  I bet jesus did get a blow-job or two....or maybe 12? Ever think it might have been part of initiation to follow him?

That would make him a Catholic wouldn't it?

According to the Catholic church Peter gave the best. Blink Much to the chagrin of Saul of Tarsus who wanted to be the best.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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29-01-2014, 12:38 PM
RE: DOC'S SEMAPHORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (SIGNALLING GOD'S LOVE SINCE 2013)
(29-01-2014 11:22 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  ...
Much to the chagrin of Saul of Tarsus who wanted to be the best.

BJs were not Saul's thang.

Had you ever noticed that Saul of Tarsus is an anagram of "ruts a foul ass"?

Maybe that's why he became Paul. Hidden meaning... a lustrous fap!

Some scholars insist that Paul's hidden meaning might have been one of:
Aural fusspot
Put souls afar
Up for assault
Artful as soup

... and we all know the schisms that these disagreements have caused.

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29-01-2014, 12:40 PM
RE: DOC'S SEMAPHORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (SIGNALLING GOD'S LOVE SINCE 2013)
(29-01-2014 12:38 PM)DLJ Wrote:  
(29-01-2014 11:22 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  ...
Much to the chagrin of Saul of Tarsus who wanted to be the best.

BJs were not Saul's thang.

Had you ever noticed that Saul of Tarsus is an anagram of "ruts a foul ass"?

Maybe that's why he became Paul. Hidden meaning... a lustrous fap!

Some scholars insist that Paul's hidden meaning might have been one of:
Aural fusspot
Put souls afar
Up for assault
Artful as soup

... and we all know the schisms that these disagreements have caused.

Oh that explains it! Bowing


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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29-01-2014, 12:43 PM
RE: DOC'S SEMAPHORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (SIGNALLING GOD'S LOVE SINCE 2013)
This title scared the hell out of me, though it was that crazy fucker over on the Jref forums. I'm still shaking damn you.

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29-01-2014, 02:55 PM
DOC'S SEMAPHORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (SIGNALLING GOD'S LOVE SINCE 2013)
(29-01-2014 12:38 PM)DLJ Wrote:  
(29-01-2014 11:22 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  ...
Much to the chagrin of Saul of Tarsus who wanted to be the best.

BJs were not Saul's thang.

Had you ever noticed that Saul of Tarsus is an anagram of "ruts a foul ass"?

Maybe that's why he became Paul. Hidden meaning... a lustrous fap!

Some scholars insist that Paul's hidden meaning might have been one of:
Aural fusspot
Put souls afar
Up for assault
Artful as soup

... and we all know the schisms that these disagreements have caused.

Methinks someone has discovered a new toy on the Interwebs.

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! -Brian's mum
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29-01-2014, 03:05 PM
RE: DOC'S SEMAPHORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (SIGNALLING GOD'S LOVE SINCE 2013)
(29-01-2014 10:15 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(27-01-2014 06:10 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  Oooh la la.

The young man in Mark who ran away, (naked) would be jealous about this wife shit.
Didn't the Gospel of Thomas suggest they turn Mary M. into a guy, so she could be be fully involved in the "mysteries".

Doc: *gasp* Bucky, what are you implying? The young man who fled away naked at Jesus' arrest simply left his tunic behind, that's all. Just because Jesus was surrounded by male disciples, whom he loved and who used to lean on his breast, is no reason to infer anything further from this incident.

Now, regarding the Magdalene. It is true that Simon Peter did not get along very well with her. In the Pistis Sophia, we read that he asked Jesus to basically tell her to shut up so that he and the other male disciples could get a word in edge-wise.

Peter said: "My Lord, let the women cease to question, in order that we also may question."

Jesus said unto Mary and the women: "Give opportunity to your men brethren, that they also may question."


Jesus no doubt loved Mary very much, but since heaven is an exclusively male destination, in the gospel of Thomas he does imply that he would change Mary into a male to rebuke Simon Peter who said,

"Let Mary leave us, for women are not worthy of life."

Jesus said, "I myself shall lead her in order to make her male, so that she too may become a living spirit resembling you males. For every woman who will make herself male will enter the kingdom of heaven."

Bucky: So no women are allowed in heaven? And they don't have living spirits like we males do?

Doc: Shhhh! The internet might hear you.

Gospel of Thomas? What in tarnation are you teachin' in that dagnab school o' your'n?

You stick with the Bible, sonny, if you know what's good for you. Angry

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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30-01-2014, 07:28 AM
RE: DOC'S SEMAPHORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (SIGNALLING GOD'S LOVE SINCE 2013)
Hey where is this "woman make yourself a man" business coming from?
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30-01-2014, 07:32 AM
RE: DOC'S SEMAPHORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (SIGNALLING GOD'S LOVE SINCE 2013)
(30-01-2014 07:28 AM)Colourcraze Wrote:  Hey where is this "woman make yourself a man" business coming from?

It's the 2,000 year-old version of empowerment of women.

They are suggesting that if you want to get ahead in life (and the afterlife), you have to get an extra head. A purple one!

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30-01-2014, 07:37 AM
RE: DOC'S SEMAPHORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (SIGNALLING GOD'S LOVE SINCE 2013)
(30-01-2014 07:32 AM)DLJ Wrote:  A purple one!

A throbbing one!

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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30-01-2014, 08:40 AM
RE: DOC'S HEDONISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE LEARNING IS A PLEASURE)
(29-01-2014 03:05 PM)Chas Wrote:  Gospel of Thomas? What in tarnation are you teachin' in that dagnab school o' your'n?

You stick with the Bible, sonny, if you know what's good for you. Angry

Doc: Well, as teacher, I should think that I get to choose the curriculum. Our goal is to teach the entire Bible, including books that were once considered genuine or canonical. The gospel of Thomas contains the sayings of Jesus and was scripture to somebody at some point, therefore it is grist for our mill. Now, turn to chapter 146 of the Pistis Sophia.

Chas: I beg your pardon?

Doc: The Pistis Sophia.

Chas: The what Sophia?

Doc: The Pistis Sophia

Chas: The what-tis Sophia?

Doc: Pis! Pis! Are you deaf, young man? Urine trouble with me now! You used to be my golden boy, but now I shall shower you with scorn.

Chas: May I be excused? I need to go now.
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