Doc's bishopric Sunday School (Noun or adjective? One word or two?)
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 9 Votes - 4.22 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
10-02-2014, 06:41 AM
RE: DOC'S ORGASMIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT'S THAT GOOD)
(10-02-2014 03:41 AM)Revenant77x Wrote:  
(10-02-2014 03:40 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  Orgasmic? I was lied too...

Apparently this week is Catholic Studies so...

Okay, I'll bite.

Did Mary orgasim when she was impregnated by the Holy Spirit?

[Image: E3WvRwZ.gif]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-02-2014, 07:00 AM
RE: DOC'S ORGASMIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT'S THAT GOOD)
Best one she ever had Thumbsup
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-02-2014, 07:20 AM
RE: DOC'S ORGASMIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (IT'S THAT GOOD)
The Coming of The Lord is not a subject for jocularity!

Doc, please get control over your class this instant.

One good thing though, the conversation is at least remain properly heterosexual.

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like DLJ's post
10-02-2014, 08:01 AM
RE: DOC'S MISOGYNISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (NOW 100% COOTIE FREE!)
(10-02-2014 07:20 AM)DLJ Wrote:  The Coming of The Lord is not a subject for jocularity!

Doc, please get control over your class this instant.

One good thing though, the conversation is at least remain properly heterosexual.

He only came once and since we expect him to come again very soon, that is a cause for celebration.

Doc
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like docskeptic's post
10-02-2014, 08:42 AM (This post was last modified: 10-02-2014 12:29 PM by docskeptic.)
RE: DOC'S MISOGYNISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (NOW 100% COOTIE FREE!)
OK. Time to revisit the use of The OT by Matthew to prove that Jesus was the Messiah. Matthew 2:15 says that Joseph fled with Mary and Jesus to Egypt when warned in a dream to do so to escpe the wrath of Herod the Great. This was done to to fulfill the prophecy in Hosea 11:1 which says, "When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son."

Now, I ask you, how can it be Christ that was the object of the prophecy when Hosea goes on to say in 11:2, "But the more I called Israel, the further they went from me. They sacrificed to the Baals and they burned incense to images"? That would positively preclude the Messiah from being the "son" referred to in verse 1.

Also, it says in Matthew 2:14-21, that the Holy Family stayed in Egypt till the death of Herod the Great. We know that Herod died in 4 BCE (Josephus) and if we grant that Jesus was born that same year, it is past belief that Joseph made a several hundred mile desert round-trip in a matter of months with a recently delivered wife and an infant.

More likely, Matthew remembered the phrase, "Out of Egypt, I called my son", forgot the rest of the "prophecy" and altered the events of Jesus' birth to make them fit the chosen phrase.

Doc
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-02-2014, 09:50 AM
RE: DOC'S MISOGYNISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (NOW 100% COOTIE FREE!)
*passes a note to Revenant*

Hi. Angel

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Escape Artist's post
10-02-2014, 10:03 AM
RE: DOC'S MISOGYNISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (NOW 100% COOTIE FREE!)
(10-02-2014 08:42 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  OK. Time to revisit the use of The OT by Matthew to prove that Jesus was the Messiah. Matthew 2:15 says that Joseph fled with Mary and Jesus to Egypt when warned in a dream to do so to escpe the wrath of Herod the Great. This was done to to fulfill the prophecy in Hosea 11:1 which says, "When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son."

Now, I ask you, how can it be Christ that was the object of the prophecy when Hosea goes on to say in 11:2, "But the more I called Israel, the further they went from me. They sacrificed to the Baals and they burned incense to images"? This would positiviely preclude the Messiah from being the "son" referred to in verse 1.

Also, it says in Matthew 2:14-21, that the Holy Family stayed in Egypt till the death of Herod the Great. We know that Herod died in 4 BCE (Josephus) and if we grant that Jesus was born that same year, it is past belief that Joseph made a several hundred mile desert round-trip in a matter of months with a recently delivered wife and an infant.

More likely, Matthew remembered the phrase, "Out of Egypt, I called my son", forgot the rest of the "prophecy" and altered the events of Jesus' birth to make them fit the chosen phrase.

Doc

I think it is fairly obvious that the writer or writers of Matthew had either an incomplete set of Scriptures or no access at all to them. The sheer amount of misinterpreted "prophecy" lends itself to this conclusion.

*Reads note and passes one back*

Hey Cool

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Revenant77x's post
11-02-2014, 08:31 AM
RE: DOC'S MISOGYNISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (NOW 100% COOTIE FREE!)
CLOSED
By order of the Health Department: Due to a heavy infestation of cooties, Doc's Misogynistic Sunday School is closed temporarily. This was caused by the attendance of a female student yesterday.

Parents are advised that cooties are an infestation of as-yet unidentified creatures that only affect juvenile females of the American human species. However, the symptoms are only manifested in the juvenile males of the species and consist of itching, sneezing, "the willies" and "falling in love".

No treatment is available. However, the disease is self-limited and resolves with age.

School will re-open tomorrow after fumigation and under a new name.

No refunds.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes docskeptic's post
11-02-2014, 08:58 AM
RE: DOC'S MISOGYNISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (NOW 100% COOTIE FREE!)
(11-02-2014 08:31 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  No refunds.

God damnit Revenant! Angry

Atir aissom atir imon
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
11-02-2014, 09:14 AM
RE: DOC'S MISOGYNISTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (NOW 100% COOTIE FREE!)
(11-02-2014 08:58 AM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  
(11-02-2014 08:31 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  No refunds.

God damnit Revenant! Angry





Least I got chicken.

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: