Doc's mephitic Sunday School (silent but deadly since 2013)
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27-06-2014, 12:49 PM
RE: DOC'S PROPHYLACTIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (NOW RIBBED FOR YOUR PLEASURE!)
Since we're talking about Jesus walking on water, I'd like to bring up another minor point.

Mark 6:47, 48 says this, "Later that night, the boat was in the middle of the lake, and he (Jesus) was alone on land. He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. Shortly before dawn he went out to them, walking on the lake. He was about to pass by them..." (the actual Greek says ēthelen parelthein autous, literally "he wished or desired to pass by them.)"

How could Jesus wish to pass by men terrified of drowning? If they had not cried out to him, would he have kept on walking on the water to wherever he was headed, leaving them to their fate?

Augustine suggests that Jesus pretended to walk by the disciples in order to stimulate cries for help from them. You know, kind of like how God knows everything but still wants us to pray to him, to "make our needs known".

BTW, John says that the disciples had already rowed out 3-3.5 miles from shore when the storm hit and Mark says that it was late at night. How could Jesus see " the disciples straining at the oars" in the dark and that far out? He must have had very good eyesight.

Doc
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03-07-2014, 12:53 PM (This post was last modified: 03-07-2014 01:35 PM by docskeptic.)
RE: DOC'S PAREGORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL
Augustine remains a source of new material. Here's another one I never saw before:

All four gospels tell the story of how Peter denied Christ. Jesus predicted that on the night he was betrayed, Peter would deny him thrice before the cock crowed (one crow according to Matt., Luke and John and two crows according to Mark).

Here's the problem: Peter denies Jesus not thrice but eight times, if we add up all the incidents in the various gospels:

1. Peter, sitting in the courtyard of the high priest's house, denies Jesus to "a servant girl". Matt. 26:69
2. Peter, moving to the gateway of the high priest's house, denies Jesus to "another servant girl". Matt. 26:71
3. Peter, still at the gateway, denies Jesus to a crowd, who suspect him of being a Galilean because of his accent. Matt. 26:73
4. In Mark 14:69, Peter denies Jesus to the first servant girl twice (once by the fire in the courtyard and once near the gateway.)
5. In Luke 22:58, Peter's second denial of Jesus is to a man, not to a servant girl
6. In Luke 22:60, Peter's third denial of Jesus is to a man, not to a crowd.
7. In John 18:25, Peter's second denial of Christ happens while he is still in the courtyard, not near the gateway and it is to an unnamed "they", not to a servant girl.
8. In John 18:26, Peter's third denial is to the relative of Malchus, the man whose ear Peter cut off in his zeal to defend Jesus.

Doc
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03-07-2014, 02:00 PM (This post was last modified: 03-07-2014 02:33 PM by Bucky Ball.)
RE: DOC'S PAREGORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL
(03-07-2014 12:53 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  Augustine remains a source of new material. Here's another one I never saw before:

All four gospels tell the story of how Peter denied Christ. Jesus predicted that on the night he was betrayed, Peter would deny him thrice before the cock crowed (one crow according to Matt., Luke and John and two crows according to Mark).

Here's the problem: Peter denies Jesus not thrice but eight times, if we add up all the incidents in the various gospels:

1. Peter, sitting in the courtyard of the high priest's house, denies Jesus to "a servant girl". Matt. 26:69
2. Peter, moving to the gateway of the high priest's house, denies Jesus to "another servant girl". Matt. 26:71
3. Peter, still at the gateway, denies Jesus to a crowd, who suspect him of being a Galilean because of his accent. Matt. 26:73
4. In Mark 14:69, Peter denies Jesus to the first servant girl twice (once by the fire in the courtyard and once near the gateway.)
5. In Luke 22:58, Peter's second denial of Jesus is to a man, not to a servant girl
6. In Luke 22:60, Peter's third denial of Jesus is to a man, not to a crowd.
7. In John 18:25, Peter's second denial of Christ happens while he is still in the courtyard, not near the gateway and it is to an unnamed "they", not to a servant girl.
8. In John 18:26, Peter's third denial is to the relative of Malchus, the man whose ear Peter cut off in his zeal to defend Jesus.

Doc

It's easily explained.
Many cocks.

Weeping

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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03-07-2014, 02:27 PM
RE: DOC'S PAREGORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL
Doc - your titles crack me up.

I remember taking Corrective Mixture with Paregoric when I was growing up. Unlike normal people who were given Pepto-Bismol we had gallons of the stuff on hand, literally. Dad used it on baby pigs with 'the scours'.

Upset stomach - take a swig of Corrective Mixture, fix ya right up. And ya slept pretty good too. Tongue

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat

Are my Chakras on straight?
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03-07-2014, 09:22 PM
RE: DOC'S PAREGORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL
(03-07-2014 12:53 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  Augustine remains a source of new material. Here's another one I never saw before:

All four gospels tell the story of how Peter denied Christ. Jesus predicted that on the night he was betrayed, Peter would deny him thrice before the cock crowed (one crow according to Matt., Luke and John and two crows according to Mark).

Here's the problem: Peter denies Jesus not thrice but eight times, if we add up all the incidents in the various gospels:

1. Peter, sitting in the courtyard of the high priest's house, denies Jesus to "a servant girl". Matt. 26:69
2. Peter, moving to the gateway of the high priest's house, denies Jesus to "another servant girl". Matt. 26:71
3. Peter, still at the gateway, denies Jesus to a crowd, who suspect him of being a Galilean because of his accent. Matt. 26:73
4. In Mark 14:69, Peter denies Jesus to the first servant girl twice (once by the fire in the courtyard and once near the gateway.)
5. In Luke 22:58, Peter's second denial of Jesus is to a man, not to a servant girl
6. In Luke 22:60, Peter's third denial of Jesus is to a man, not to a crowd.
7. In John 18:25, Peter's second denial of Christ happens while he is still in the courtyard, not near the gateway and it is to an unnamed "they", not to a servant girl.
8. In John 18:26, Peter's third denial is to the relative of Malchus, the man whose ear Peter cut off in his zeal to defend Jesus.

Doc

Maybe Jesus meant at least thrice..

Atheism is the only way to truly be free from sin.
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03-07-2014, 09:32 PM
RE: DOC'S PAREGORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL
(27-06-2014 12:49 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  How could Jesus wish to pass by men terrified of drowning?

Doc

Easy. Dude's an asshole. Drinking Beverage

Tongue

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04-07-2014, 09:30 AM
RE: DOC'S PAREGORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL
(03-07-2014 02:27 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Doc - your titles crack me up.

I remember taking Corrective Mixture with Paregoric when I was growing up. Unlike normal people who were given Pepto-Bismol we had gallons of the stuff on hand, literally. Dad used it on baby pigs with 'the scours'.

Upset stomach - take a swig of Corrective Mixture, fix ya right up. And ya slept pretty good too. Tongue

Anjele,
I hope the contents of each post meet with your approval as well. Your last name isn't Herrriot, by any chance? James Herriot talks about prescribing something for calves with the scours in one of his books.

Considering that Paregoric is camphorated tincture of opium, I'm not surprised you slept well. Bet you even faked some tummy symptoms, eh?

Regards,

Doc
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04-07-2014, 09:33 AM
RE: DOC'S PAREGORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL
You're forgetting Biblical First Principles, doc.

The Bible is not wrong.
Therefore, when the Bible is literally wrong, it is not being literal.
QED.

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04-07-2014, 09:57 AM (This post was last modified: 04-07-2014 09:16 PM by Anjele.)
RE: DOC'S PAREGORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL
(04-07-2014 09:30 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(03-07-2014 02:27 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Doc - your titles crack me up.

I remember taking Corrective Mixture with Paregoric when I was growing up. Unlike normal people who were given Pepto-Bismol we had gallons of the stuff on hand, literally. Dad used it on baby pigs with 'the scours'.

Upset stomach - take a swig of Corrective Mixture, fix ya right up. And ya slept pretty good too. Tongue

Anjele,
I hope the contents of each post meet with your approval as well. Your last name isn't Herrriot, by any chance? James Herriot talks about prescribing something for calves with the scours in one of his books.

Considering that Paregoric is camphorated tincture of opium, I'm not surprised you slept well. Bet you even faked some tummy symptoms, eh?

Regards,

Doc

Haha! No, I am not a Herriot though I read some of his books years ago. My dad was a large animal veterinarian - primarily dairy cattle and hogs. He also had the best diaper rash cream (actually an udder balm) that would turn the baby's butt blue for a day or so but cleared up a rash in a matter of hours - course they took it off the market. Hexalube if I recall correctly. Also had a spray anesthetic that we used to numb tonsillitis - years later he told us it wasn't supposed to be used orally. My sister and I wonder why it tasted like bananas if you weren't supposed to be able to taste it.

We had Amoxicillin in thousand lot bottles around the house. Mom had equally large bottles of Meprobamate. Dad stitched up his own knee and also his own palm (with my sister's help). Other than the Paregoric buzz, my first high was from ether. Dad soaked a gauze pad with it and put it in a jar for me to hold over a dog's muzzle while he spayed her. Each time the dog exhaled I got a pretty good whiff of it. It's no wonder all of us have the tendency toward addiction.

He did post mortems in the driveway and my sister helped deliver a litter of piglets because her hands were smaller than dad's.

Was an interesting childhood sometimes.

A

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat

Are my Chakras on straight?
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04-07-2014, 10:21 AM
RE: DOC'S PAREGORIC SUNDAY SCHOOL
PS - Thanks for reminding me of those books. I just ordered a couple of them. It's been years since I read them and I would like to read them again. Big Grin Thumbsup

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat

Are my Chakras on straight?
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