Doc's mephitic Sunday School (silent but deadly since 2013)
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28-01-2015, 09:51 AM
RE: Doc's obstetric Sunday School (delivering the Gospel since 2013)
(28-01-2015 09:45 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(26-01-2015 08:48 AM)morondog Wrote:  Alright doc, obvious question, why's it in the Catholic bible and not the good ol' KJV? It *can't* be because it was ruled "too preposterous", so what gives?

OK, there's a long answer and a short answer. I'm too lazy to type up the long one, so here goes. Short answer: Catholics are more gullible than Protestants.

While Protestants "only" have to believe that there is a God and that Jesus is his son, Catholics also have to believe that a man in a pointy hat, a shepherd's crook and kidney stones is also God's representative on earth and that "that it is altogether necessary to salvation for every human creature to be subject to the Roman Pontiff." (Pope Boniface VIII, Unam Sanctam)

Not surprisingly, if you believe in this obvious folderol, believing that Daniel was fed by an angel delivering soup while holding the delivery boy by the hair is mere child's play.

Doc

I thought the kidney stone comment was just a bit of levity on your part Doc, but now that you mention this it does strike me that every Pontiff but the sitting one has died. Is God not choosing them properly? Consider

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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28-01-2015, 09:54 AM
RE: Doc's obstetric Sunday School (delivering the Gospel since 2013)
(28-01-2015 09:45 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  "that it is altogether necessary to salvation for every human creature to be subject to the Roman Pontiff." (Pope Boniface VIII, Unam Sanctam)

Well you gotta hand it to the man, it takes some serious gumption to be able to say that with a straight face. Every human critter huh? So since *not* every human is subject to the Roman pontiff, does that mean his salvation ballyhoo is fucked from the get go? Big Grin Hee hee... So fun to be atheist sometimes...

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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28-01-2015, 01:56 PM (This post was last modified: 28-01-2015 03:28 PM by docskeptic.)
RE: Doc's obstetric Sunday School (delivering the Gospel since 2013)
(28-01-2015 09:51 AM)Full Circle Wrote:  
(28-01-2015 09:45 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Catholics are more gullible than Protestants.

Catholics also have to believe that a man in a pointy hat, a shepherd's crook and kidney stones is also God's representative on earth


Doc

I thought the kidney stone comment was just a bit of levity on your part Doc

Levity. Moi? Heaven forfend. But to show you what I meant about gullibility, let me tell you the story of Daniel and the dragon.

Remember, I said that Daniel was thrown into the lion's den for the second time? Well, he was incarcerated there for destroying a dragon (see Daniel 14, Douay-Rheims). Apparently, Babylon was infested with dragons and a particularly nasty one resided near the capital, which the Babylonians worshipped as a god. Cyrus the king was particularly proud of this specimen and boasted of its prowess to Daniel.

To prove to the king that the dragon was nothing worth worshiping, Daniel took fat, hair and pitch, boiled them all together, made lumps out of it and somehow managed to get the dragon to eat it, whereupon the dragon promptly burst asunder and died. The Babylonians were mad at Daniel for killing their god and threatened the king with destruction unless he imprisoned Daniel. It was then that Daniel received a visit from the angel and Habakkuk.

So, Catholics believe that dragons actually exist and that they can be killed by feeding them hairballs. That just shows how gullible they are. Everybody knows that the actual way to defeat dragons is to get them to fall in love with your sidekick donkey.

Doc
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28-01-2015, 02:04 PM
RE: Doc's obstetric Sunday School (delivering the Gospel since 2013)
(28-01-2015 01:56 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(28-01-2015 09:51 AM)Full Circle Wrote:  I thought the kidney stone comment was just a bit of levity on your part Doc

Levity. Moi? Heaven forfend. But to show you what I meant about gullibility, let me tell you the story of Daniel and the dragon.

Remember, I said that Daniel was thrown into the lion's den for the second time? Well, he was incarcerated there for destroying a dragon (see Daniel 14, Doauy-Rheims). Apparently, Babylon was infested with dragons and a particularly nasty one resided near the capital, which the Babylonians worshipped as a god. Cyrus the king was particularly proud of this specimen and boasted of its prowess to Daniel.

To prove to the king that the dragon was nothing worth worshiping, Daniel took fat, hair and pitch, boiled them all together, made lumps out of it and somehow managed to get the dragon to eat it, whereupon the dragon promptly burst asunder and died. The Babylonians were mad at Daniel for killing their god and threatened the king with destruction unless he imprisoned Daniel. It was then that Daniel received a visit from the angel and Habakkuk.

So, Catholics believe that dragons actually exist and that they can be killed by feeding them hairballs. That just shows how gullible they are. Everybody knows that the actual way to defeat dragons is to get them to fall in love with your sidekick donkey.

Doc

First I just learned a new word ~
forfend
archaic
avert, keep away, or prevent (something evil or unpleasant).
2.
US
protect (something) by precautionary measures.

I must say that had I known Catholics believed in dragons I would have remained one Wink and of course that makes this movie a documentary...Thumbsup

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“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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28-01-2015, 10:45 PM
RE: Doc's obstetric Sunday School (delivering the Gospel since 2013)
Doc,
Is it true the Bible can give you Toxemia ?

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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29-01-2015, 07:48 AM
RE: Doc's obstetric Sunday School (delivering the Gospel since 2013)
(28-01-2015 10:45 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  Doc,
Is it true the Bible can give you Toxemia ?

For the non-medical in the forum, toxemia means being pregnant, developing severe high blood pressure and spilling protein in the urine.

Even though this is an obstetric Sunday School, I have never heard of the Bible causing one to get pregnant or to spill protein in the urine. I do note that my blood pressure goes through the roof when I read the Bible. However, with only 1 of 3 criteria being fulfilled, the answer to your question is no.

I do, however, hear of cases where reading the Bible causes an advanced case of stupid.

Doc
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29-01-2015, 08:24 AM
RE: Doc's obstetric Sunday School (delivering the Gospel since 2013)
(29-01-2015 07:48 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(28-01-2015 10:45 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  Doc,
Is it true the Bible can give you Toxemia ?

For the non-medical in the forum, toxemia means being pregnant, developing severe high blood pressure and spilling protein in the urine.

Even though this is an obstetric Sunday School, I have never heard of the Bible causing one to get pregnant or to spill protein in the urine. I do note that my blood pressure goes through the roof when I read the Bible. However, with only 1 of 3 criteria being fulfilled, the answer to your question is no.

I do, however, hear of cases where reading the Bible causes an advanced case of stupid.

Doc

Yabut, how do you explain preachers' daughters being 'easy'? They are, y'know.

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02-02-2015, 10:20 AM
RE: Doc's syphilitic Sunday School (transmitting the Gospel since 2013)
Chas: Are we all done with Daniel? Can we move on now? I'd like to ask you a question about Hosea.

Doc: Who?

Chas: Hosea.

Doc: You must be mistaken. There are no Latinos in the Bible.

Chas: Not José, you cretin. Hosea.

Doc: Harrumph! Well, what about him?

Chas: Why did God tell his prophet to marry a prostitute?

Doc (eyes bulging): I beg your pardon!

Chas: Yes. Hosea 1:2, says, "And the Lord said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the Lord."

Doc, reading Hosea for himself: Ah, yes, you see, God told Hosea to marry a prostitute so that he would serve as a sign against Israel, who was committing spiritual whoredom by worshipping strange Gods.

Chas: Oooookay. You're saying that God violated his own moral standard and told his prophet to marry a prostitute simply as a sign against his own people? In other words, Hosea stands for God and Gomer his wife stands for Israel? If Gomer cheated on Hosea, does that mean that God is a cuckold?

Doc: What's a cuckold?

Chas: Look it up.
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02-02-2015, 10:45 AM (This post was last modified: 02-02-2015 11:49 AM by DLJ.)
RE: Doc's syphilitic Sunday School (transmitting the Gospel since 2013)
Technically speaking, I don't think prostitutinariness is equivalent to cheating.

The former is within the bounds of a contract.

The latter is outwith a contract.

Israel may have been in breach of contract by flirting with the other gods / goddesses i.e. cheating.

Hosea just wanted good sex.

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02-02-2015, 11:49 AM (This post was last modified: 02-02-2015 04:13 PM by Bucky Ball.)
RE: Doc's syphilitic Sunday School (transmitting the Gospel since 2013)
(28-01-2015 09:45 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(26-01-2015 08:48 AM)morondog Wrote:  Alright doc, obvious question, why's it in the Catholic bible and not the good ol' KJV? It *can't* be because it was ruled "too preposterous", so what gives?

OK, there's a long answer and a short answer. I'm too lazy to type up the long one, so here goes. Short answer: Catholics are more gullible than Protestants.

While Protestants "only" have to believe that there is a God and that Jesus is his son, Catholics also have to believe that a man in a pointy hat, a shepherd's crook and kidney stones is also God's representative on earth and that "that it is altogether necessary to salvation for every human creature to be subject to the Roman Pontiff." (Pope Boniface VIII, Unam Sanctam)

Not surprisingly, if you believe in this obvious folderol, believing that Daniel was fed by an angel delivering soup while holding the delivery boy by the hair is mere child's play.

Doc

Yabut the Church of Scripture AND Tradition changed that little tid-bit I think.
In the Constitution on the Church, (Lumen Gentium), (Vatican II), Part II, which I haven't re-read, I thnk they said all Christians of good will are saved. Somewhere the word "subsumed" is used. I can't remember who is subsuming whom. Weeping
http://www.vatican.va/archive/hist_counc...um_en.html
In other words, the Roman Church is a PART of the Church of Jebus, according to this document ... but I may have it backwards.
Actually this (p 24 and p 25) clarifies it a but, but one of the authors of the Constitution on the Church says that there are "true" Christian elements found outside the structure of the RCC. If THAT's not enough to give the nuts at Suscipe Domine a stroke, I don't know what would.
https://books.google.com/books?id=qbrMVg...st&f=false

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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