Doc's mephitic Sunday School (silent but deadly since 2013)
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27-07-2015, 01:46 PM
RE: Doc's Hasidic Sunday School (messhugeh goyim free since 2013)
(27-07-2015 01:09 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(27-07-2015 11:17 AM)unfogged Wrote:  I'm honored... I think... OK, I'm more confused...
Consider

s'OK. Join the club. One of the chief arguing points for Christianity is the resurrection of Jesus and Christians often talk or sing about the empty tomb. I once asked a Christian if he could show me the empty tomb and for the life of him he could not even remember where the tomb was! He took it on faith that there was an empty tomb somewhere. And how do we know that it was Jesus's? I dunno. Maybe by the inscription on the plaque fixed outside?

Doc

Thanks, I understood the dialog, just confused how I became a part of it!
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27-07-2015, 02:23 PM
RE: Doc's Hasidic Sunday School (messhugeh goyim free since 2013)
(27-07-2015 01:46 PM)unfogged Wrote:  
(27-07-2015 01:09 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  s'OK. Join the club. One of the chief arguing points for Christianity is the resurrection of Jesus and Christians often talk or sing about the empty tomb. I once asked a Christian if he could show me the empty tomb and for the life of him he could not even remember where the tomb was! He took it on faith that there was an empty tomb somewhere. And how do we know that it was Jesus's? I dunno. Maybe by the inscription on the plaque fixed outside?

Doc

Thanks, I understood the dialog, just confused how I became a part of it!
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29-07-2015, 10:18 AM (This post was last modified: 29-07-2015 01:28 PM by docskeptic.)
RE: Doc's Sephardic Sunday School (open to meshhugeh goyim since 2013)
(27-07-2015 01:09 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  One of the chief arguing points for Christianity is the resurrection of Jesus and Christians often talk or sing about the empty tomb. I once asked a Christian if he could show me the empty tomb and for the life of him he could not even remember where the tomb was! He took it on faith that there was an empty tomb somewhere. And how do we know that it was Jesus's? I dunno. Maybe by the inscription on the plaque fixed outside?

Doc

Earlier, I said that the chief differentiating point between Jesus and other holy men is the fact that he supposedly rose from the dead and Christians will point to his empty tomb as proof for that event. Usually, one of two tombs is chosen to demonstrate this "fact", viz. the Church of the Holy Sepulcher or the Garden Tomb.

It may be instructive to learn how the Church of the Holy Sepulcher came to be identified as the tomb of Jesus. According to Socrates Scholasticus's Ecclesiastical History, (Book 1, ch. 17), the emperor Hadrian built a temple to Venus on the site of Jesus's tomb to spite Christians. The empress Helena, mother of the emperor Constantine was led by a dream to the site, by that time a ruin. Instructing her workmen to dig, they came upon a tomb in which three crosses were found (Jesus's and the two thieves), which put them all in a dither. How to identify the true cross? Simple. Touch a dying woman with each cross in turn. The last cross cured the poor woman and it was then identified as the True Cross.

The empress built a magnificent church on the site and sent a piece of the cross to the emperor along with the nails that pierced Jesus. The emperor, apparently not knowing what to do with such magnificent gifts, promptly made riding-bits for his horse and a helmet for himself out of the nails. The piece of wood was entombed in his own statue. Socrates says, "I have written this from report indeed; but almost all the inhabitants of Constantinople affirm that it is true." So, we know it must all be true, indeed.

In essence then, a religiously manic woman has a dream about the site of the tomb of Jesus and the dream was confirmed by a miracle. Sounds legit to me.

Doc
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30-07-2015, 12:38 AM
RE: Doc's Sephardic Sunday School (meshhugeh goyim welcome since 2013)
So... are there any attested miracles by the Holy Helmet of Constantinople? Did zee emporer become more intelligent by wearing his helmet? Did his mistress wear it when she was getting nailed?

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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30-07-2015, 11:10 AM (This post was last modified: 30-07-2015 11:32 AM by docskeptic.)
RE: Doc's Sephardic Sunday School (meshhugeh goyim welcome since 2013)
(30-07-2015 12:38 AM)morondog Wrote:  So... are there any attested miracles by the Holy Helmet of Constantinople? Did zee emporer become more intelligent by wearing his helmet? Did his mistress wear it when she was getting nailed?

Alas, no. One also wonders what his horse was capable of having had bridle-bits made with True Nails.

In any case, his having the special helmet did not prevent Constantine from murdering his wife (by stewing her in a hot bath) or poisoning his eldest son, well after he (Constantine) became a Christian.

Doc
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31-07-2015, 11:05 AM
RE: Doc's emetic Sunday School (spewing Bible truth since 2013)
(30-07-2015 11:10 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Alas, no. One also wonders what his horse was capable of having had bridle-bits made with True Nails.

Doc

Speaking of True Nails, it may be interesting to note that there was at one point a fierce controversy over whether Christ was crucified with three nails or with four. Those who held the former view were called Triclavianists and were declared heretics by Pope Innocent III who ruled infallibly on the side of those who favored four nails. He also made sure to stamp out the heretics who claimed that Christ was pierced on the left side with a spear, since he knew infallibly that Christ was pierced on the right side. I don't know what those heretics were called; lefties, maybe?

Doc
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01-08-2015, 03:25 AM
RE: Doc's emetic Sunday School (spewing Bible truth since 2013)
(31-07-2015 11:05 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(30-07-2015 11:10 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Alas, no. One also wonders what his horse was capable of having had bridle-bits made with True Nails.

Doc

Speaking of True Nails, it may be interesting to note that there was at one point a fierce controversy over whether Christ was crucified with three nails or with four. Those who held the former view were called Triclavianists and were declared heretics by Pope Innocent III who ruled infallibly on the side of those who favored four nails. He also made sure to stamp out the heretics who claimed that Christ was pierced on the left side with a spear, since he knew infallibly that Christ was pierced on the right side. I don't know what those heretics were called; lefties, maybe?

Doc

Fuck, at least he wasn't pierced in his bottom otherwise they might have been big endians.

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If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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01-08-2015, 05:35 AM
RE: Doc's emetic Sunday School (spewing Bible truth since 2013)
(31-07-2015 11:05 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(30-07-2015 11:10 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Alas, no. One also wonders what his horse was capable of having had bridle-bits made with True Nails.

Doc

Speaking of True Nails, it may be interesting to note that there was at one point a fierce controversy over whether Christ was crucified with three nails or with four. Those who held the former view were called Triclavianists and were declared heretics by Pope Innocent III who ruled infallibly on the side of those who favored four nails. He also made sure to stamp out the heretics who claimed that Christ was pierced on the left side with a spear, since he knew infallibly that Christ was pierced on the right side. I don't know what those heretics were called; lefties, maybe?

Doc

Sinistraitors?

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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01-08-2015, 08:05 AM
RE: Doc's emetic Sunday School (spewing Bible truth since 2013)
Please sir, please sir?

Should we burning magicians at the stake as heretics?

Aren't conjurors blaspheming blasphemously when they perform their vanishing lady trick?

Now you see it, now you don't.
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03-08-2015, 09:22 AM
RE: Doc's Sunday School
(01-08-2015 05:35 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(31-07-2015 11:05 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Speaking of True Nails, it may be interesting to note that there was at one point a fierce controversy over whether Christ was crucified with three nails or with four. Those who held the former view were called Triclavianists and were declared heretics by Pope Innocent III who ruled infallibly on the side of those who favored four nails. He also made sure to stamp out the heretics who claimed that Christ was pierced on the left side with a spear, since he knew infallibly that Christ was pierced on the right side. I don't know what those heretics were called; lefties, maybe?

Doc

Sinistraitors?

Southpawtisans? (I like Chas's better, tho')

Doc
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