Doc's mephitic Sunday School (silent but deadly since 2013)
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28-09-2015, 10:13 AM
RE: Doc's atopic Sunday School (allergic to ignorance since 2013)
(28-09-2015 07:22 AM)DLJ Wrote:  
(27-09-2015 06:04 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  ...
Doc: Blows. Are you deaf, young man? He blows. YHWH blows.

Octapulse: He certainly does.

Nah. He sucks.

Angel

He sucks. He blows. He's a veteran cosmic nutter.

Doc
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28-09-2015, 10:24 AM
RE: Doc's atopic Sunday School (allergic to ignorance since 2013)
(27-09-2015 06:04 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  Doc: Stop right there! If I hear that joke one more time... Anyway, some scholars think that the root word might have been the Arabic word, hawa, meaning to blow. "He blows" would have been the name of a desert wind-god who subsequently became YHWH.

TOC: *raises hand gingerly* Sod Doc, does that mean that the arabic idea if blowing wind also apply to breaking wind? If so, was the "wrong fire" brought forth by Aaron's sons due to them lighting a fart? Also, could god's wrath be averted by using a lighter fitted with iron?

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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28-09-2015, 11:45 AM
RE: Doc's atopic Sunday School (allergic to ignorance since 2013)
(28-09-2015 10:24 AM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  
(27-09-2015 06:04 PM)docskeptic Wrote:  Doc: Stop right there! If I hear that joke one more time... Anyway, some scholars think that the root word might have been the Arabic word, hawa, meaning to blow. "He blows" would have been the name of a desert wind-god who subsequently became YHWH.

TOC: *raises hand gingerly* Sod Doc, does that mean that the arabic idea if blowing wind also apply to breaking wind? If so, was the "wrong fire" brought forth by Aaron's sons due to them lighting a fart? Also, could god's wrath be averted by using a lighter fitted with iron?

Gosh, TOC, I don't know. YHWH seems to have very little to say about breaking wind. Allah, on the other hand...

In the Hadith we read: "My uncle asked Allah's Apostle about a person who imagined to have passed wind during the prayer. Allah's Apostle replied: "He should not leave his prayers unless he hears sound or smells something."
Sahih Bukhari 1:4:139

But what about the innocent bystanders?

Doc
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28-09-2015, 11:48 AM
RE: Doc's atopic Sunday School (allergic to ignorance since 2013)
(28-09-2015 11:45 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(28-09-2015 10:24 AM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  TOC: *raises hand gingerly* Sod Doc, does that mean that the arabic idea if blowing wind also apply to breaking wind? If so, was the "wrong fire" brought forth by Aaron's sons due to them lighting a fart? Also, could god's wrath be averted by using a lighter fitted with iron?

Gosh, TOC, I don't know. YHWH seems to have very little to say about breaking wind. Allah, on the other hand...

In the Hadith we read: "My uncle asked Allah's Apostle about a person who imagined to have passed wind during the prayer. Allah's Apostle replied: "He should not leave his prayers unless he hears sound or smells something."
Sahih Bukhari 1:4:139

But what about the innocent bystanders?

Doc

Interesting. So the Hadith indicates Allah is silent but deadly.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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28-09-2015, 12:49 PM
RE: Doc's atopic Sunday School (allergic to ignorance since 2013)
For your edification:

The Prophet (PB&J) at home

Doc
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28-09-2015, 02:08 PM
RE: Doc's atopic Sunday School (allergic to ignorance since 2013)
(28-09-2015 11:45 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  
(28-09-2015 10:24 AM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  TOC: *raises hand gingerly* Sod Doc, does that mean that the arabic idea if blowing wind also apply to breaking wind? If so, was the "wrong fire" brought forth by Aaron's sons due to them lighting a fart? Also, could god's wrath be averted by using a lighter fitted with iron?

Gosh, TOC, I don't know. YHWH seems to have very little to say about breaking wind. Allah, on the other hand...

Doc

OK. Maybe I spoke a little too hastily. In Isaiah 26:17-18 we read the following:
"As a pregnant woman about to give birth writhes and cries out in her pain, so were we in your presence, Lord. We were with child, we writhed in labor, but we gave birth to wind."

There is a modern rhyme that expresses this just as well:

Here we sit broken-hearted,
Paid our dime, but only farted.

Doc
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28-09-2015, 03:39 PM
RE: Doc's atopic Sunday School (allergic to ignorance since 2013)
So god’s name is “He who farts”? [Image: EM9rl6c.gif?zoom=2]

This puts a whole ’nother spin on not taking his name in “vane”.

When in an elevator quote John 3:8 The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes.

When in a storm know that God has cut the cheese Psalm 135:7
He makes clouds rise from the ends of the earth; he sends lightning with the rain and brings out the wind from his storehouses.

Acts 2:2 And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting.

[Image: KidsInGasMasks.jpg]

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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29-09-2015, 07:07 AM
RE: Doc's atopic Sunday School (allergic to ignorance since 2013)
Hmm. The Hadith turned out to be more entertaining than I thought. Here's another interesting tidbit about the prophet Mohammad (peanut butter upon him):

Narrated by Abu Huraira:

"I followed the Prophet while he was going out to answer the call of nature. He used not to look this way or that. So, when I approached near him he said to me, "Fetch for me some stones for cleaning the private parts and do not bring a bone or a piece of dung." So I brought the stones in the corner of my garment and placed them by his side and I then went away from him. When he finished (from answering the call of nature), he used them."

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 4, Number 157

Any man who can clean his private parts with stones is clearly not one to be messed with.

Doc
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29-09-2015, 08:47 AM
RE: Doc's atopic Sunday School (allergic to ignorance since 2013)
I don' know nuthin' 'bout no atopic nuthin.
Let me know when the *ectopic* lesson is. Now THAT I know somethin' about.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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30-09-2015, 02:08 PM
RE: Doc's atopic Sunday School (allergic to ignorance since 2013)
(29-09-2015 07:07 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Hmm. The Hadith turned out to be more entertaining than I thought. Here's another interesting tidbit about the prophet Mohammad (peanut butter upon him):

Narrated by Abu Huraira:

"I followed the Prophet while he was going out to answer the call of nature. He used not to look this way or that. So, when I approached near him he said to me, "Fetch for me some stones for cleaning the private parts and do not bring a bone or a piece of dung." So I brought the stones in the corner of my garment and placed them by his side and I then went away from him. When he finished (from answering the call of nature), he used them."

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 4, Number 157

Any man who can clean his private parts with stones is clearly not one to be messed with.

Doc

You know, I've been wondering. Would this whole Middle East turmoil thingy have turned out differently if only the prophet Mohammad (cheese be upon him) had access to good quality, double-ply, quilted toilet paper?

Doc
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