Doc's mephitic Sunday School (silent but deadly since 2013)
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21-05-2013, 07:21 AM (This post was last modified: 21-05-2013 08:43 AM by docskeptic.)
RE: DOc'S ArRHytHMIc SUndAy ScH___
(20-05-2013 05:40 PM)JAH Wrote:  doc, I still need to know if revelations was written by a stoner. I would have much more respect for the bible if it was, or maybe not.

JAH,
Wouldn't you rather have another story? Compared to the authorship of Revelation, the story of, say, Noah's Ark is mere child's play.

The short answer is John. The long answer is, of course, more complicated. The tradition that John the apostle, a disciple of Jesus, wrote the book is very old and may be dated to ca. 140 CE (it was mentioned by Justin Martyr as the product of "a certain man with us, whose name was John, one of the apostles of Christ, who prophesied, by a revelation that was made to him, that those who believed in our Christ would dwell a thousand years in Jerusalem; and that thereafter the general, and, in short, the eternal resurrection and judgment of all men would likewise take place.")

This position was also backed up by Irenaeus and Papias in the 2nd century CE.

On the other hand, Polycarp, supposedly John's own disciple does not say a word about John's authorship of the Revelation, a surprising omission.

Also, Eusebius (the historian) was in two minds as to the authenticity of the book. This is what he says in his Church History, "Among the rejected writings must be reckoned also the Acts of Paul, and the so-called Shepherd, and the Apocalypse of Peter, and in addition to these the extant epistle of Barnabas, and the so-called Teachings of the Apostles; and besides, as I said, the Apocalypse of John, if it seem proper, which some, as I said, reject, but which others class with the accepted books."

It was not listed in some early Canons such as that produced by the Laodicean Council (4th century CE).

Lastly, there is some confusion as to whether the John that wrote the book, could be another John, surnamed the Presbyter, who may also have written 1 John, 2 John and 3 John. The style of writing is so different between the gospel of John and the Revelation that, even very early on, a certain Dionysius of Alexandria (3rd century CE) argued effectively from internal evidence that the two books could not have had the same author.

JAH: Dude, a simple "I don't know" would have sufficed.
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21-05-2013, 10:17 AM
RE: DOC'S DYSTOPIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE RESISTANCE IS FUTILE)
Wait a minute here doc. Isn't the bible the inerrant word of god. Who would have cared way back about who wrote it. And what is this stuff about letting books in or out.

I know I am up here in stoners row but even I can tell there is something amiss when humans are deciding what should be or not be in the bible.

I know I need this class to graduate, I will not be pissy about this. I have to believe that god directed those who made the choices, but doc you have to admit that revelations (as well as some other stuff in the bible) is bat shit crazy. The hand of god gets a little sloppy at times.

I just got revealed the answer, god itself is a stoner. I think I may go pray some more.
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21-05-2013, 11:34 AM
RE: DOC'S DYSTOPIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE RESISTANCE IS FUTILE)
(21-05-2013 10:17 AM)JAH Wrote:  Wait a minute here doc. Isn't the bible the inerrant word of god. Who would have cared way back about who wrote it. And what is this stuff about letting books in or out.

I know I am up here in stoners row but even I can tell there is something amiss when humans are deciding what should be or not be in the bible.

I know I need this class to graduate, I will not be pissy about this. I have to believe that god directed those who made the choices, but doc you have to admit that revelations (as well as some other stuff in the bible) is bat shit crazy. The hand of god gets a little sloppy at times.

I just got revealed the answer, god itself is a stoner. I think I may go pray some more.

It didn't become the "inerrant word of god" until the king james bibles, a book written in the 17th century based on 16th century translations since they didn't have any original texts. Plus you have to remember there was no codified Bible until the Laodicean Council. Mostly the Gospels were "faith messages" not to be studied independently (that sort of thing was never encouraged it's a fairly new phenomenon as up until the KJB everything was written in a 1000 year old dead language to separate the laymen from the scriptures) but to be declared at prayer meetings. "We Believe thusly..."

Culture has changed so much since the 1st-4th centuries that it is hard to imagine what that was like. Literacy for instance was hovering around 10% or so for most of history, don't need to be able to real to farm or carry heavy things. So a mostly illiterate population worshiping a book written in a language they do not speak, led by hysterical virgins. That is the history of the church.

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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22-05-2013, 06:23 AM
RE: DORK'S UNHYGIENIC SUNDAY SCHOOL
Mark Fulton: Doc, you know that woman we talked about recently, the one with menometrorrhagia?

Doc (startled): Meno-WHAT?

Mark Fulton (sighing): Abnormal vaginal bleeding, then. We don't know anything about this woman, so we don't know for sure that she even had the condition, do we?

Doc: Au contraire. All three synoptic gospel writers record it, so it must be true.

Mark Fulton: I see. This was a self-reported diagnosis, then, was it? With no names or other details provided, there is no way to confirm the story, is there? What if the woman or the gospel writers made up the story? Also, by definition, menometrorrhagia is intermittent; otherwise the woman would have bled to death long before she met Jesus.

Doc: So?

Mark Fulton: So, how do we know that what she "felt" as a cure was not a temporary cessation in her bleeding, which resumed after Jesus had passed on? Was she examined by a physician after the "cure"? Also, interestingly, this episode happened immediately after Matthew was recruited as a disciple.

Doc: Again, so?

Mark Fulton: So, one would have thought that the events of the day would have created a most indelible image in his mind. Yet he provides the shortest version, just 2 verses, while Mark, a non-witness, takes 9 verses to describe the same event, and Luke, another non-witness, takes 5 verses. How is it that non-witnesses can provide a longer, more detailed description of an event than a witness?

Doc, guessing wildly: Divine inspiration? Paranormal activity? ESP?

Mark Fulton: Try literary license.
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23-05-2013, 08:03 AM (This post was last modified: 23-05-2013 08:28 AM by docskeptic.)
RE: DOC'S PHILHARMONIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE FACE THE MUSIC)
Doc: Today, we are going to learn about heroes of the Bible. We will start with Abraham, who was called righteous and God's friend in Isaiah 41:8.

Cardinal Smurf: How, then, do we account for Abraham's actions in Genesis 11 when Sarah caught the eye of Abimelech, the king of Gerar? Abraham lied and said that Sarah was his sister (which was true) rather than his wife for fear that he would be killed and Sarah kidnapped. Abimelech did take Sarah away from Abraham, but for this transgression God threatened Abimelech with death, even though it was Abraham who perpetuated the lie. Abimelech returned Sarah to Abraham and made him a handsome present of sheep, cattle, and slaves.

Doc: That was an act of expediency to save his own life

Cardinal Smurf: But Genesis 20:17 says, "the Lord had kept all the women in Abimelech’s household from conceiving because of Abraham’s wife Sarah." Now, how long do you have to wait before deciding that not bearing babies was a sign from God. 6 months? A year? 2 years? Abraham was willing to maintain the lie for that long

Moreover, Abraham and Sarah played a similar trick on the Egyptian pharaoh in Genesis 12 and profited similarly. Remarkably, their son Isaac also played a similar trick on Abimelech, who does not seem to have learned from his experience, except that Isaac was forced to be content with a stern warning from the king, rather than handsome presents. In just these two stories, we have instances of incest and fraud committed by people who are held up to us today as examples to follow.

Doc, reaching for his pocket Bible: I'm sure that's not what it says in the Bible.

Cardinal Smurf, pulling out his Thompson "Tommy" Chain Reference Bible : Before you do that, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?
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23-05-2013, 08:08 AM
RE: DOC'S PHILHARMONIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE FACE THE MUSIC)
(23-05-2013 08:03 AM)docskeptic Wrote:  Cardinal Smurf, pulling out his Thompson "Tommy" Chain Reference Bible : Before you do that, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

LaughatLaughatLaughatLaughatLaughat It's too much!
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23-05-2013, 06:30 PM
RE: DOC'S PHILHARMONIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE FACE THE MUSIC)
So incestuous pimping out of women is ok in thei morals of this bible then? Hmmm sounds like the Jerry springer show...

Godless in the Magnolia State
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23-05-2013, 06:31 PM
RE: DOC'S PHILHARMONIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE FACE THE MUSIC)
Double post sorry
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23-05-2013, 06:40 PM
RE: DOC'S PHILHARMONIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE FACE THE MUSIC)
(23-05-2013 06:30 PM)cjs Wrote:  So incestuous pimping out of women is ok in thei morals of this bible then? Hmmm sounds like the Jerry springer show...

Ladies and Gentlemen Mr Lee Major's




(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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23-05-2013, 07:55 PM
RE: DOC'S PHILHARMONIC SUNDAY SCHOOL (WHERE WE FACE THE MUSIC)
Rev, once again you make the bible relevant to modern life! LMAO

Godless in the Magnolia State
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